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Noel Gallagher on hating Christmas

Noel Gallagher hates Christmas. Well, I guess if you’re called Noel you might well try to break free of nominative determinism. He does protest a lot…

Posted: 24th, December 2017 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Manchester City Fan Noel Gallagher Signs Manchester United Irritant Gary Neville’s Guitar

FORMER Manchester United player Gary Neville asked celebrity Manchester City fan Noel Gallagher to sign his guitar.

Noel’s message to Red Nev reads:

Noel Gallagher guitar Gary Neville

 

Dear Gary,

How many caps have you got for England?

How many do you think you deserved?

I’ll tell you…

F*CKIN’ NONE!!!

Lots of love, Noel Gallagher x

M.C.F.C

 

Posted: 10th, November 2014 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment


How the Hit Parade moved from phonograph needles, platters and sleaze to MP3s

SIXTY years ago, the first British singles chart – or “Hit Parade” as it was called – was published. It appeared in the New Musical Express, and it was a top twelve that contained fifteen platters, on account of the joint number sevens, joint number eights and joint number elevens. Al Martino was number one with Here In My Heart. Only one of the discs was available in the new-fangled 45-revolutions-per-minute 7-inch vinyl format; the rest came as easily-breakable shellac 78s, for which the term “smash hit” was all too apt.

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Posted: 25th, November 2012 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment


Noel Gallagher Bans Music Journalist Who Wrote Unflattering Review From Gig

NOEL Gallagher has reacted to a review in the Edinburgh Evening News’ by banning the paper’s chief music writer, Gary Flockhart, from his gig at Usher Hall.

Flockhart says Gallagher’s latest work, High Flying Birds, is a “letdown” and a “big disappointment”.

The request for tickets was met replied to by Gallagher’s PR agent, Simon Blackmore of Black Arts PR.

“Sorry Gary – not going to be able to spare any (is ridiculously oversubscribed and can’t fit everybody in). That piece you wrote about him last week didn’t exactly help your cause to be honest.”

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Posted: 28th, October 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Noel Gallagher ‘On Knees’ For Manchester Derby

MANCHESTER derbies have definitely favoured the red half of the city (please make your own jokes about the red half of Manchester being in Essex) over the years, with Manchester City’s last big derby coming in the late ’80s with a 5-1 pasting of the Red Devils at Maine Road.

But of course, this weekend, City trounced United 6-1 at Old Trafford. The last time Man United lost to a five goal margin, Jesus Christ our Lord was on the books for Galilee Argyle.

And of course, one of Manchester City’s most famous fans, Noel Gallagher, was thrilled at the win. Everyone who isn’t a Man Utd fan was in fairness. With a fresh number one album under his belt, Noel was understandably chuffed to bits.

But what helped the victory? Noel told the BBC:

“The fact that Alex Ferguson rested Howard Webb”

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Posted: 24th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Noel Gallagher Wants Liam To Come And Ruin A Perfectly Good Wedding

WARRING siblings, Liam and Noel Gallagher, haven’t seen eye-to-beady-eye since they collectively knocked Oasis on the head. A welcome relief for anyone with ears and at least one brain cell.

And thanks largely to the current crop of indie poppers all being dullards in tight, bollock-rupturing jeans, people still look to these bickering feather-cut headed has-beens for something to write about. With Noel getting married to Who Cares?, thoughts go to the fact that when families get together at a wedding, reunions can sometimes end in fistfights on the car park.

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Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Ivor Novello Awards 2010: Winners And Pictures

LILY Allen scooped her three Ivor Novello Awards. Says she: “Really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, it’s the songs I’m most proud of. This song [The Fear] is so much about feeling lost in a lot of ways. All of a sudden, this has made me feel found.” Johnny Marr won the “inspiration prize”. Says he: “I always thought that the greatest thing you can achieve as a musician is to be called an inspiration – aside from a big house in Sunningdale obviously.”

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Lily Allen is interviewed after winning Best Song Musically & Lyrically to add to her earlier PRS For Music Most Performed Work at the Ivor Novello Awards at the Grosvenor House in central London.

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Posted: 20th, May 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


Oasis Announce Reunion Gig

1031419OASIS have split up, gone to that great reunion-waiting-to-happen in the sky. No, Oasis are not dead. The Gallagher brothers are alive. No Michael Jackson-style presription medication for them – just good old fashioned preservatives and pickling. Says Noel Gallagher:

“It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer. Apologies to all the people who bought tickets for the shows in Paris, Konstanz and Milan.”

Sounds not a lot unlike a hissy fit. Indeed, given the band’s changing line up over time, we could soon have two Oasis, or Oases.

And what of Noel Gallagher, who is now seen less often as a musician than on an advertorial for Sky TV or popping up on Match of the Day to say how tough Manchester City fans used to be and patting Ricky Hatton on the back

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Posted: 29th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Iraq Shoe Thrower Muntadar al-Zaidi Big Oasis Fan And Gifs

As Muntadar al-Zaidi has been jailed for three years for throwing his shoes at George Bush, we look at his reasons.

One report says Zaidi shouted “long live Iraq” as the verdict was read out. But Anorak’s man in the courthouse heard his actual words were “Roll With It”.

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Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


What Noel Gallagher Wants For Christmas

OASIS rent-a-quote Noel Gallagher asked Santa for Christmas:

“I’d like an iPhone, a laptop, a new haircut and a Christmas card that didn’t say fucking Noel on the front. That would be fucking nice. Just one year. I always get this shit, right. And people go, ‘Did you get my card?’ And you go, ‘I dunno, which one was that?’ ‘Oh, you must’ve seen it. It had Noel written on the front.’ ‘Really, and how many of those do you think I get?’ That’s right. All of them. They all end up at my fuckin’ house. ‘Oh, there’s a card with my name on it, brilliant. That’s from my parents. I’ll thank them again for that.’ Fuckin’ pair of idiots.”

Spotter

Posted: 30th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Morning Snory: Noel Gallagher Sleep Walks

NOEL Gallagher has “admitted the has started sleepwalking”, reports the Sun.

Gallagher recounts the tale of how he awoke to find himself no longer in his bed but on a different floor. “I can’t remember getting there,” he says.

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Posted: 5th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Oasis Hit The Stars

GORDON Smart, Oasis PR man and Sun columnist, make use of the asterisk in a piece on Noel Gallagher.

Oasis are planning a tour, and of late the Sun has been full of stories about Noel saying this one is a ***, another one is ***-**** and so-and-so is a complete **** ****p** *ll***g.

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Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comments (3)


Noel Gallagher Supports Global Warming And So Should You

NOEL Gallagher, the Oasis cretive force and stage diver, considers global warming and opines:

“I think global warming is brilliant.”

And we should listen. Over in Canada:

Dozens of prominent Quebec artists, scientists and media personalities joined about 60 environmental and social groups yesterday to launch a vast campaign to pressure Quebec’s Liberal government to cancel plans to refurbish the province’s only nuclear reactor.

David Suzuki beats the traffic to tell everyone:

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Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Noel Gallagher: Fan Hits The S*it

Noel Gallagher is someone’s fool:

FAN hits the shit – You might think I’m only linking to the YouTube clip of Noel Gallagher being attacked on stage so I can use that headline.

You’re right.

Noel Gallagher is pushed…

Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment