Dom Joly To Be Face Of New iPad
UK Funnyman DOM JOLY is delighted with the new iPhone. With the new bigger iPhone – already nicknamed the iPad by the cool elite – you can prove to anyone within 250 yards that you’re a charmless, vain, pretentious, needy tosser.
With the new iScream sound system, you can enjoy the following conversation in earshot of anyone in your train carriage and the next two along:
Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
How To Get A Date Online: A Picture Guide
WANT to pull online? This study of profile photo correlated pulling to the photo you sumbit of your ideal self. Be warned:
Now, you’re always told to look happy and make eye contact in social situations, but at least for your online dating photo, that’s just not optimal advice. For women, a smile isn’t strictly better: she actually gets the most messages by flirting directly into the camera [... However,] flirting away from the camera is the single worst attitude a woman can take. Certain social etiquettes apply even online: if you’re going to be making eyes at someone, it should be with the person looking at your picture.
Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile:
Posted: 24th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Naked Body Scanners Miss Bomb Parts, Spot Bottle Opener: Video
THOSE airport full-body scanners are great. In this demo, German TV discovers that the scanners can detect pretty much everything - knife, mobile phone, child - except…bombs:
Posted: 23rd, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Naked Fleshmob Trial New Body Scanners At Airport: NSFW Video
UMAR Farouk Abdulmutallab sets fire to his gonads, allegedly, to reach the virgins and the innocent are made to stand in line and have their genitals examined in full-body scanners, paedo edition.
In Pictures: Shocking Airport XRays (NSFW)
Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Dot Me Replaced The Dot Yu: Chuckle Brothers Storm Montenegro
THE Wikipedia page about the .me domain - which is big in Montenegro. So too are the Chuckle Brothers:
The dot-ME top level domain replaced the dot-YU (Yugoslavia) domain previously used by Serbia and Montenegro. In addition to declaring .me independent of .yu, a new .rs domain was deployed for Serbian use.
Me from Yu. It’s Rs. To me. To Yu. To me…
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Porn And The Internet: By Numbers
PORN on the internet boils down to one thing: American capitalism.
Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
In Pictures: Google’s ‘Nexus One’ iPhone With Free Tiger Woods Umbrella App.
ANORAK was in Paris to see a huge meeting between a BlackBerry, a Google phone Smart phone ‘Nexus One’ and an iPhone.
The summit was a big deal in technological terms and after extensive studies we discovered:
• Nine out of ten iPhone users employ the phrase “I’m on the iPhone” when taking journeys on public transport
Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
4chan Declares January 6 2010 YouTube Porn Day, No Cats Day Follows
WEDNESDAY January 6th 2010 is YouTube Porn Day, as decreed by 4chan. The account of a Lukeywes1234 has been suspended by YouTube, and in response 4chan members will hit the online video compiler with loadsa porn.
That’s right, kids - no need to search. The porn comes to you. It will be interesting if YouTube gets a traffic spike. Of cous, to relly hurt YouTube you need not not inflict boring porn on the masses but declare a No Cats Day…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Twitter Passwords Banned List: Nicholas, Oliver, Broncos And Chelsea
TWITTER has released a list of passwords that it’s members are banned from using. The list is a mixture of the obvious and the creators’ own prejudices. Banned words include the sports teams Chelsea, Broncos and Packers, and such names as Nicholas, Anthony, Ashley and Oliver, and Ferrari. Anyone who uses those as passwords is a fool and shunned by Twitter, and, preferably, decent society. Imaginative swear words are encouraged.
Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Yotaro Solar Baby Saves World From The Human Virus
YOTARO will save the world form the human virus. Any child going to bed with a Yotaro will be so terrified of babies they will either have one of conclude that Herod was right. Either that or they’ll have one and plug it in. Also, the cat lady can move on. Yotaro is here…
The Human Virus: They Who Would Save Us All Through Sterilisation
Posted: 20th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The iPhone: With Lou Reed’s Big Print App
YOU know you’re old when… Loud Reed lends his name to a new iPhone application that makes the NUMBERS BIGGER. You can also see that she is a he.
With Lou Zoom you “read your contact info without squinting”.
It’s yours for $1.99 – which in your day would have bought a banana, a Velvet Underground album and a huge bag of smack…
1338657
Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Get A Grip Like Tiger Woods With Bionic Fingers
BIONIC fingers for all is the dream. Anorak was there to see Phil Newman, Director of Marketing at Touch Bionics in Livingston, near Edinburgh, demonstrate the new bionic fingers. Scientists have unveiled what they claim are the world’s first bionic fingers which they hope will transform the lives of people with missing digits. See that Tiger Woods - you can have his grip yet.
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Embargoed to 0900 Tuesday December 8 Scientists today unveiled what they claim are the world's first bionic fingers which they hope will transform the lives of people with missing digits, the new bionic fingers can be seen being demonstrated at Touch Bionics in Livingston near Edinburgh.
Posted: 8th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2: Free Virtual Reality Goggles And Gun Offer
CALL of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is the ultimate first-person shoot ‘em up. And now you live the dream.
Anorak has teamed up with our pals at the Ministry of Defence to offer the first 500 buyers of the game a free uniform, free sticky gun, melting boots – not one but two! - and a 3-month tour of duty in Kabul.
Says one player:
“When we landed they gave me these goggles that looked like something you use for swimming. But they made everything look so real. It was awesome.”
Says another:
“When I got shot it felt like I had really been shot. There were medics and everything. The birds in the hospital weren’t up to much and if I was picky I’d want them to have bigger tits.”
And while you play the real squaddies win:
Posted: 13th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Berlin Twitter Wall Used To Bring Down China’s Great Fire Wall
TO mark the fall of the Berlin Wall, Kulturprojekte Berlin GmbH has created the Berlin Twitter Wall.
On berlintwitterwall.com you can now share your thoughts on the historic Fall of the Wall and post a wish for the future.
It’s a nice idea, and blessedly featured to animated David Hasselhoff bringing the Wall down with his horns of plenty. But it’s not all a celebration, an “I was there” moment. The Berlin Wall is being used as a form of protest, a totem for Twitter users seeking freedom:
The website has been dominated by Chinese people complaining about the Great Fire Wall (aka GFW or Net Nanny — Internet censorship).
Posted: 26th, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Internet Eyes: Make Money Watching CCTV Crimes On The Web
VOYEURS, journalists, the institutionalised looking to fill the void between episodes of Jeremy Kyle can win £1,000 by joining the Citizen Crimewatchers whose job it is to monitoring CCTV security cameras over the internet.
Camera owners need you to keep a vigil on their streaming home movies. And the best bit is that these camera owners will pay you a wage to watch the footage.
Britain has 4.2 million security cameras, and only 60million people to man them. Internet Eyes will crackle into life in Stratford-upon-Avon but very soon you too will be able to register for free and watch four cameras, winning a prize for every crime spotted.
Tony Morgan, who set up the site, tells us:
“This could turn out to be the best crime prevention weapon there’s ever been. I wanted to combine the serious business of stopping crime with the incentive of winning money. There are over four million CCTV cameras and only one in a thousand is watched. This way cameras will be watched 24 hours a day.”
It’s ingenious. The Internet requires no TV licence and ITV must be kicking themselves they never thought this one up. A CCTV camera by Katie’ Price’s driveway could get its own series on ITV1, ITV2 with repeats on ITV 3 and the behind the lens technical report show on ITV4.
Posted: 6th, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Apple Sues Woolworths Over Logo Design
IN Australia, Woolworths not only still exists but is so trendy and hip that its shops might be mistaken for Apple, makers of to-queue-for gadgets.
Woolies says its new logo is a ”W” that looks fresh and exciting. Apple says it looks like an apple, which it does.
Confusion results. Right now thousands of apple fans are browsing the new iPix and iMix applications with shiny-eyed wonder.
Posted: 5th, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
High Court Issues First Injunction Via Twitter, Steals Supreme Court Limelight
DAY one of the Supreme Court and Britain’s High Court kick starts its PR offensive by announcing its first injunction via Twitter.
Solicitors Griffin Law sought the injunction against www.twitter.com/blaneysblarney arguing it was impersonating right-wing blogger Donal Blaney, the owner of Griffin Law.
Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Your PC’s Mechanical Tumour Measures Stress Levels
YOUR computer works like a brain – a big clunky, dumb one with a box that sits underneath and possessed on an endless capacity to spout out pictures of naked women and trademarked by American big business.
Japanese artist Mio I-zawa’s understands and has created the “mechanical tumour” - a brain-like thing that fluctuates in tune with your computer’s stress levels.
If you’re running Vista on your PC, you may like to stand well back and have a therapist handy with a tranquiliser gun and a rubber hammer.
Posted: 28th, September 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Honda Invents The New Wheelchair
HONDA invents the new wheelchair. Just lean your upper body and go - in any direction:
Spotter
Posted: 24th, September 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Wind Up Earth Angel Vibrator Enlivens Bored Al Goreans
GREAT news for masturbating Al Goreans is that a new hand-cranked vibrator that makers say could save the planet and bring stimulus to Third World places, like sub-Saharan Africa and Detroit.
The eco-sex toy is dubbed the “Earth Angel” and necessitates the user charges the thing by turning a handle and adding juice to the rechargeable battery within.
It had originally been planned as a sex aid for the Third World where batteries and electricity supplies are unreliable.
And clockwork vibrators are still in use. Fact.
But the Irish manufacturers Camden Enterprises have been swamped with interest from Green followers after displaying the vibrator at the Ars Electronica [really] fair in Linz, Upper Austria, this week.
Posted: 18th, September 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
