THINKING of transporting a Christmas Tree on your car roof?
THE car crashed into a wall in Bad Kreuznach, Rhineland Palatinate, Germany, attracted police attention. What they failed to noticed that the car’s owner was in the boot – the 30-year-old had curled up to sleep off the demon drink and drugs.
HOW much do your balls mean to you? Or indeed, do you sleep with a ball-having partner and have grown rather fond of them? Well, thank the stars you’re not seeing the car lover who is selling one of his testicles for £22,000 so he can buy a Nissan 370.
That’s right. A Nissan.
THE new Mini has been launched. The latest BMW version of Sir Alec Issigonis’ classic is bigger than ever before. The original car built by the British Motor Corporation (BMC) and its successors from 1959 until 2000 were manufactured at the Longbridge and Cowley plants in England.
Let’s compare then and now:
The car is built at the BMW factory in Oxford.
The production line at the BMW Mini plant in Oxford.
A view of the mini assembly lines in the new factory of Austin works in Longbridge, Birmingham. Date: 25/08/1959
Sir Leonard Lord, Chairman of the British Motor Corporation, at the Longbridge works in Birmingham as he gets into the driving seat of the BMC’s revolutionary new small car, announced today, as the Austin Seven and Morris Mini-Minor. Date: 25/08/1959
Sir Leonard Lord, chairman of the British Motor Corporation, inspects an exhibition of the Austin Seven and Morris Mini-Minor at Longbridge in Birmingham. Date: 25/08/1959
At its height the Longbridge plant closed in 1985.
Workers spray the body of a car on the assembly line at the British Motor Corporation’s Longbridge site in Birmingham, where the Austin Seven and Morris Mini-Minors are being produced. Date: 25/08/1959
The Austin Seven and Morris Mini-Minors are driven off the production line at the British Motor Corporation’s Longbridge site in Birmingham. Date: 25/08/1959
A promotional event for the Austin Seven and Morris Mini Minor. Five adults, one baby, two dogs and luggage were loaded into the small car at the British Motor Corporation’s Longbridge site in Birmingham. Date: 25/08/1959
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MEANWHILE in Belarus… dash cams are recording the unusual:
WHEN is bus shelter not a bus shelter? When it is the victim of an alleged “assault”.
A man has been arrested on suspicion of assault after an incident at Bracknell bus station. Courtney Buses said some services were delayed after a man allegedly headbutted a bus and a bus shelter at 1.20pm on Thursday. A Thames Valley Police spokeswoman said officers were called at 1.22pm and a man was arrested on suspicion of assault.
WHEN Mahogony Grandison , of Huntsville, Alabama had her car towed away, insults was added to injury. Instead of the $200 fee levied at her freind, wgo also had her car remove, Grandidon was $350. Her bill included a $150 charge for swearing at the towers.
She says: ”I explained multiple times it was not me. I even apologized for the person who did curse them out. They were not hearing it.”
Is wearing an offence. It’s all about the style of swearing, rather than the substance. Ever since Brendan Behan swore on Panorama in 1956, the objection to swearing in public has been eroded, although not in Alabama. In Joe Moran’s book Armchair Nation, the author recalls another magic moment on the telly:
A few years later, just after Ulster Television had begun in 1959, the man with the Sisyphean task of painting the railings on Stranmillis Embankment alongside the River Lagan in Belfast appeared live on its teatime magazine programme Roundabout. The interviewer, Ivor Mills, asked if it was ever boring painting the same railings all year round. “Of course it’s fu*king boring,” the man replied.
The channel’s managing director, Brum Henderson, waited anxiously for the inescapable tsunami of complaint to arrive at the studios. In the event, not a single viewer, even in this deeply religious region in which play swings were padlocked on Sundays, rang or wrote in.
Mrs Grandison should, of course, contest the bill, which seems hard to enforce. In 2001, Britain’s Metropolitan Police sent out a memo to staff: ”The courts do not accept that police officers are caused harassment, alarm or distress by words such as ‘f**k, c***, b****cks, w****er.”
You’ll have noticed that Anorak uses little stars in place of the full words. This is because the internet is run by American companies like Google and Facebook, for whom hardcore smut and beheadings are fine but swearing is not.
‘Wood [sic] you bloody believe it?’ as Mahogony might say…
A SLEEPY driver crashed into Sleep Experts mattress store in Dallas, Texas. The female driver she fell asleep on the way home.
She was not hurt.
IF you saw a giant chicken crossing the road, would you pull over to let it cross safely? What about if the huge chicken was clearly not a chicken but a man dressed as one? Police in Lake Elsinore, California, dressed as a huge pecking bird to see if drivers yielded for pedestrians.
And – get this – drivers didn’t stop. Some sped up.
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Cyclist ticketed for not riding in bike lane makes video of himself crashing into things in bike lanes
THE cyclist ticketed for not riding in bike lane has made this video of him crashing into things in bike lanes:
LORRY drivers get a hard time don’t they? People unfairly chide them, when they’re just trying to do their job, like those nice men on Convoy or Smokey and the Bandit.
And so, to a news story about a lorry driver was caught brushing his teeth while driving his long, flammable death machine. And also to a car driver was pulled over for shaving with a razor and a water bottle, during a police crackdown.
IF you saw a 7-foot-tall gingerbread man crossing the road ahead of you would you stop? Or would you put your foot down?
Police in Moreno Valley, California, thought it a test of a driver’s care on the road to dress up one of their own as a huge gingerbread man. The report says he was “invisible to most of the 13 motorists who were cited in a 50-minute span during a Riverside County Sheriff’s Department pedestrian decoy operation”.
WE Buy Any Car do not buy any car:
CAR spinning clubs from as far afield as Mpumalanga, Limpopo and Pretoria came to pay their respects t the funeral of Bongani Makhubo, 40, of Soshanguve, Tshwane, who died after a short illness.
After the funeral at Soshanguve Cemetery, the drivers had a wheel spinning competition, revving their engines and spinning their cars in circles, spectators cheered.
At some point a young woman took off her knickers and began dancing in the middle of the spinning cars.
A John Lelaka was unimpressed:
“People are allowed to celebrate but not in a way that disturbs other people’s peace.”
This is what car spinning looks like. It is not yet an Olympic sport:
BRITISH racing driver Darren Shepsman offers his post-impact summary on racing his MX5 at Yorkshire’s Croft Circuit:
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FLASHBACK to 1896: Henry Ford is seen on the Quadricycle, the first automobile he ever built in Dearborn, Mich.
On June 4, 1896 in a tiny workshop behind his home on 58 Bagley Street, Ford put the finishing touches on his pure ethanol-powered motor car. After more than two years of experimentation, Ford, at the age of 32, had completed his first experimental automobile. He dubbed his creation the “Quadricycle,” so named because it ran on four bicycle tires, and/or because of the means through which the engine drove the back wheels. The success of the little vehicle led to the founding of the Henry Ford Company and then later the Ford Motor Company in 1903.
The two cylinder engine could produce 4 horsepower.The Quadricycle was driven by a chain. The transmission had only two gears (first for 10 mph (16 km/h), 2nd for 20 mph (32 km/h)) but Ford could not shift into second gear due to lack of torque and did not have a reverse gear. The tiller-steered machine had wire wheels and a 3 US gal fuel tank under the seat. Ford test drove it on June 4, 1896, after various test drives, achieving a top speed of 20 mph (32 km/h).
Over 100 years later, the speed limit in Dearborn is 35mph. Progress…
FLASHBACK to the Peel P50:
…a three-wheeled microcar originally manufactured from 1962 to 1965 by the Peel Engineering Company on the Isle of Man. Until 2009 it held the record for the smallest automobile to go into production. It has no reverse gear, but a handle at the rear allows the very lightweight car to be physically maneuvered when required.
Designed as a city car, it was advertised as capable of seating “one adult and a shopping bag.” The vehicle’s only door was on its left side, and equipment included a single windscreen wiper and only one headlight – Wikipedia
OR, in this case, platinum and other valuable metals:
One of the country’s biggest street cleaning firms has announced it is to “mine” the sweepings it collects from roads and pavements, in search of gold and other precious metals.
Veolia Environmental Services believes it can find at least £1 million worth of materials like platinum, palladium and rhodium from the muck swept up from Britain’s streets each year.