Anorak

Technology | Anorak - Part 43

Technology Category

Independent news, views, opinions and reviews on the latest gadgets, games, science, technology and research from Apple and more. It’s about the technologies that change the way we live, work, love and behave.

Yotaro Solar Baby Saves World From The Human Virus

YOTARO will save the world form the human virus. Any child going to bed with a Yotaro will be so terrified of babies they will either have one of conclude that Herod was right. Either that or they’ll have one and plug it in. Also, the cat lady can move on. Yotaro is here…

The Human Virus: They Who Would Save Us All Through Sterilisation

Posted: 20th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The iPhone: With Lou Reed’s Big Print App

YOU know you’re old when… Loud Reed lends his name to a new iPhone application that makes the NUMBERS BIGGER. You can also see that she is a he.

With Lou Zoom you “read your contact info without squinting”.

It’s yours for $1.99 – which in your day would have bought a banana, a Velvet Underground album and a huge bag of smack…

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Veteran American singer-songwriter Lou Reed playing at the Shepherds Bush Empire.

Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Get A Grip Like Tiger Woods With Bionic Fingers

BIONIC fingers for all is the dream. Anorak was there to see Phil Newman, Director of Marketing at Touch Bionics in Livingston, near Edinburgh, demonstrate the new bionic fingers. Scientists have unveiled what they claim are the world’s first bionic fingers which they hope will transform the lives of people with missing digits. See that Tiger Woods – you can have his grip yet.

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Embargoed to 0900 Tuesday December 8 Scientists today unveiled what they claim are the world's first bionic fingers which they hope will transform the lives of people with missing digits, the new bionic fingers can be seen being demonstrated at Touch Bionics in Livingston near Edinburgh.

Posted: 8th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2: Free Virtual Reality Goggles And Gun Offer

tour-of-dutyCALL of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is the ultimate first-person shoot ‘em up. And now you live the dream.

Anorak has teamed up with our pals at the Ministry of Defence to offer the first 500 buyers of the game a free uniform, free sticky gun, melting boots – not one but two! – and a 3-month tour of duty in Kabul.

Says one player:

“When we landed they gave me these goggles that looked like something you use for swimming. But they made everything look so real. It was awesome.”

Says another:

“When I got shot it felt like I had really been shot. There were medics and everything. The birds in the hospital weren’t up to much and if I was picky I’d want them to have bigger tits.”

And while you play the real squaddies win:

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Posted: 13th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Berlin Twitter Wall Used To Bring Down China’s Great Fire Wall

berlin-twitter-wall1TO mark the fall of the Berlin Wall, Kulturprojekte Berlin GmbH has created the Berlin Twitter Wall.

On berlintwitterwall.com you can now share your thoughts on the historic Fall of the Wall and post a wish for the future.

It’s a nice idea, and blessedly featured to animated David Hasselhoff bringing the Wall down with his horns of plenty. But it’s not all a celebration, an “I was there” moment. The Berlin Wall is being used as a form of protest, a totem for Twitter users seeking freedom:

The website has been dominated by Chinese people complaining about the Great Fire Wall (aka GFW or Net Nanny — Internet censorship).

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Posted: 26th, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Internet Eyes: Make Money Watching CCTV Crimes On The Web

cctv4VOYEURS, journalists, the institutionalised looking to fill the void between episodes of Jeremy Kyle can win £1,000 by joining the Citizen Crimewatchers whose job it is to monitoring CCTV security cameras over the internet.

Camera owners need you to keep a vigil on their streaming home movies. And the best bit is that these camera owners will pay you a wage to watch the footage.

Britain has 4.2 million security cameras, and only 60million people to man them. Internet Eyes will crackle into life in Stratford-upon-Avon but very soon you too will be able to register for free and watch four cameras, winning a prize for every crime spotted.

Tony Morgan, who set up the site, tells us:

“This could turn out to be the best crime prevention weapon there’s ever been. I wanted to combine the serious business of stopping crime with the incentive of winning money. There are over four million CCTV cameras and only one in a thousand is watched. This way cameras will be watched 24 hours a day.”

It’s ingenious. The Internet requires no TV licence and ITV must be kicking themselves they never thought this one up. A CCTV camera by Katie’ Price’s driveway could get its own series on ITV1, ITV2 with repeats on ITV 3 and the behind the lens technical report show on ITV4.

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Posted: 6th, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Apple Sues Woolworths Over Logo Design

appleIN Australia, Woolworths not only still exists but is so trendy and hip that its shops might be mistaken for Apple, makers of to-queue-for gadgets.

Woolies says its new logo is a ”W” that looks fresh and exciting. Apple says it looks like an apple, which it does.

Confusion results. Right now thousands of apple fans are browsing the new iPix and iMix applications with shiny-eyed wonder.

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Posted: 5th, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


High Court Issues First Injunction Via Twitter, Steals Supreme Court Limelight

high-court-twitterDAY one of the Supreme Court and Britain’s High Court kick starts its PR offensive by announcing its first injunction via Twitter.

Solicitors Griffin Law sought the injunction against www.twitter.com/blaneysblarney arguing it was impersonating right-wing blogger Donal Blaney, the owner of Griffin Law.

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Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Your PC’s Mechanical Tumour Measures Stress Levels

brain-pcYOUR computer works like a brain – a big clunky, dumb one with a box that sits underneath and possessed on an endless capacity to spout out pictures of naked women and trademarked by American big business.

Japanese artist Mio I-zawa’s understands and has created the “mechanical tumour” – a brain-like thing that fluctuates in tune with your computer’s stress levels.

If you’re running Vista on your PC, you may like to stand well back and have a therapist handy with a tranquiliser gun and a rubber hammer.

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Posted: 28th, September 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Honda Invents The New Wheelchair

HONDA invents the new wheelchair. Just lean your upper body and go – in any direction:

Spotter

Posted: 24th, September 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Wind Up Earth Angel Vibrator Enlivens Bored Al Goreans

wind-vibratorGREAT news for masturbating Al Goreans is that a new hand-cranked vibrator that makers say could save the planet and bring stimulus to Third World places, like sub-Saharan Africa and Detroit.

The eco-sex toy is dubbed the “Earth Angel” and necessitates the user charges the thing by turning a handle and adding juice to the rechargeable battery within.

It had originally been planned as a sex aid for the Third World where batteries and electricity supplies are unreliable.

And clockwork vibrators are still in use. Fact.

But the Irish manufacturers Camden Enterprises have been swamped with interest from Green followers after displaying the vibrator at the Ars Electronica [really] fair in Linz, Upper Austria, this week.

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Posted: 18th, September 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Google Censors Manchester Gay Centre

canal-streetGOOGLE spies are watching you go about your daily business. But not you Manchester gays. Google will not watch the gays, at least not those in Manchester’s Canal Street.

To Google, Canal Street is not a lively gay enclave, rather a dreary backstreet. Did Google street cars, the US company’s fleet of spooks, not visit Canal Street? And if not, why not?

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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The iPhone Purity Ring App And Virgin Alert Ringtone

cherry-phoneHEY hipsters, got the new Purity ring app released for iPhone? Trills the press release:

Leading Christian iPhone App Development Agency, Island Wall Entertainment, have developed a PurityRing iPhone App in an attempt to engage with today’s youth using new mediums. Anyone with an iPhone or iPod Touch can now take a purity pledge via their mobile device and then proudly display their timeless purity ring spinning on the screen.

The app. also boasts a purity ring tone that plays Like a Virgin in a five-fingers organ concerto.

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Posted: 15th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Hasselhoff, Jay Leno And Elle McPherson Launch Jaguar XJ

david-hasselhoff-at-the-launch-of-the-new-jaguar-xj-at-the-saatchi-gallery-in-london1ANORAK’S man in leatherette gloves and smelling of bottled pine has been to the launch of the new Jaguar XJ, along with his good pals David Hasselhoff, Jay Leno and Elle McPherson.

Before the gallery, Anorak reveals the contents of Elle’s voicemails, as monitored by our undercover Pernod Journo:

“Get me noticed, you *******”

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Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Reliant Land Speeder Races Aston Martin Cygnet

RELIANT Land Speeder races an Aston Martin Cygnet… and wins:

From Yampster in the Forums:

reliant-land-speeder

Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


China’s Intranet Internet Bans CNN And Digg

CHINA Telecom loosk to be blocking “unhealthy” content, popping up a green damn to stop the viewers seeing things like CNN and Digg. The message claims to be from “mommy and daddy“.

China is your family now.

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On Danwei, readers react:

The notice asks you to enter a password if you want to see the “unhealthy” content, and says that it’s a notice from “mommy and daddy.”

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Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Child Porn Hidden Amid Swiss Hip-Hop

swiss-hip-hopCHILD Pornography and Swiss hip-hop. In the big list of all the world’s evils, these are two of the Top Five.

As the Independent reports:

Child pornography was downloaded from a Swiss hip-hop music website to around 2,300 computers in 78 countries, Swiss police said on Monday.

Jean-Christophe Sauterel, a police spokesman in the Vaud canton of Switzerland, said videos of minors engaged in sexual acts were hidden in a Swiss site where the principal content was “perfectly legal.”

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Posted: 30th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Aston Martin Cygnet

aston-martin-cygnetIN the Anorak Forums, Yampster looks at the Aston Martin Cygnet, and weeps:

We’ve put up with a lot in this country since the war. We’ve seen the loss of the Empire, we’ve seen Sterling drop from it’s position as one of the world’s safest, most trusted currencies. We have seen our once proud Navy reduced to a couple of armed trawlers in the Straits of Hormuz.

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Posted: 30th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Habitat Opens New Store In Iran By Twitter

habitatHABITAT is like Ikea in wood. And the furniture store is on Twitter. But if any companies are looking to use social networks to reach their customers and attract new ones, this is pretty much a masterclass in how not to do it.

1. Open a Twitter account.

2. Twitter about the, er, riots in Iran.

3. Anyone found Maddie yet? If she’s still news, Twitter that too…

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Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Japan Satellite Transmits Pictures As Crashes Into Moon

THE Japan Aerospace and Exploration Agency releases high-definition video from the Kaguya moon probe as it about to crash.

Did you see that? The naked woman

JAXA via Pink Tentacle

Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Girl Electrocuted Using Twitter

toaster-twitterGirl electrocuted using Twitter:

TWITTER is the greatest tool in the history of mankind ever. Iran will be saved by Twitter. Problem is that Twitter is one up for the grunt. But Twitter can be dangerous. Get this story of the girl who died Twittering:

A teenage girl was electrocuted after dropping her laptop into the bath as she twittered in the tub.

Police said they believed Maria Barbu, 17, had tried to plug in her laptop with wet hands after the battery died during a long session on social networking site Twitter as she took a soak at her home in Brasov, central Romania.

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Posted: 19th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Iranians Rely On Israeli Technology To Reach The Internet

IN Iran, what Andrew Sullivan calls facists and Old Mr Anorak calls humanity or communists or any other ists and isms that seek to control, the Israelis are speaheading the drive to freedom:

Fring, an Israeli social network toll, is workign for Iranians. Sky News:

The protesters have been using social networking sites like Twitter to communicate, which the Government says it has now blocked.

Yet, using tools like Fring and some ingenious other methods, Iranians are proving adept at circumventing the authorities’ electronic road blocks.

Still we have The One to protect and do the right thing for his country’s allies:

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Posted: 18th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


London University to offer a degree in Twitter. Essays just 140 charactars long!

twitter-imageEveryone in Iran uses it, BBC radio presenters bang on about it incessantly and mega celebs use it to throw crumbs to their adoring fans. Yep there seems no stopping the rise of Twitter.

Well soon you’ll be able to get a degree based around the microblogging sensation (BA Hons Twit IIi?) as City University – a fairly decent academic establishment according to my old UCCA handbook, is going to offer students course in Twitter Studies.

Well, except that the course is called an Information, Communication and Society MSc and it focuses on teaching graduates to learn how to use digital materials such as social networking sites as effective comms tools.

According to PR Week – the course will begin in September and is aimed at political campaigners, PR ­professionals, marketers and tech analysts.

It’ll be the most popular course in history if each essay is limited to 140 charactars…

Posted: 18th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


UK Government Moves To Tax Internet Use

taxfree_internetTHE Internet is fantastic. You’re looking at it. The Government wants to control it. To own it. Now see if you can link these two stories.

Villagers in rural Lancashire have become so sick of their poor internet connection they have decided to wire up their own homes. Armed with a fibre cable, a digger and a technician, the residents of Wray village and Wennington have managed to connect a farmhouse to broadband.

Now see if you can make the link between that and this:

Every Briton with a fixed-line phone will pay a “small levy” of 50p per month to pay for faster net access.

The national fund created by the levy will be used to ensure most Britons get access to future net technologies.

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Posted: 17th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How To Make A Russian Jet From Cigarettes

russian-jet3IN Anorak’s masterclass today, readers learn how to make a Russian Jet fighter from a cigarette box.

Old Mr Anorak once dispatched me to Cuba, approaching from Cancun. The plane was Russian. The seat fell backwards and remained supine throughout the flight. The overhead fan when touched lighted collapsed. The onboard staff laughed and then went “Whoooooh” when the plane fell and rose repeatedly.

When we landed, there was three-hour wait in the airport while a crowbar was retrieved to prise open the hold.

Anyhow, enjoy. Pass the smokes:

Posted: 14th, June 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Technology | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0