HOW do you deter a Chinese pervert? No, not a question to Roy Chubby Brown’s audience, rather one posed to millions of women on Weibo (China’s Twitter). Well, the answer is to dress up like pre-depilated Kim Kardashian. Los Angeles, the city that gave Basildon the tattoo sleeves, now gives Beijing the hairy leg:
“Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out.”
Of course, this might just be Prince William showing off his plucked feet. The web can be full of lies. It’s hard to know what to believe.
And what about the perverts who get turned on by well-carpeted young girls? Catering for perverts is a hazardous business. Whatever you do, someone is going to get excited…
Spotter: Laughing Squid
If you see any terrible tributes, please let us know.
Spotter:The World’s Best Ever
FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.
The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.
“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.
FRENCH designer Alexis Persani has dressed statues as hipsters. I see your shop window mannequin and raise you a marble God:
In 1974, Lonely Ladies T-shirts presented “I Dreamt I was Raped by Mick Jagger in my David Bowie T-shirt”. Why was The Rolling Stones frontman wearing his alleged victim’s David Bowie T-shirt? And lest you think this was perverted, the San Francisco outfit let prospective rape victims know that their dream rapist could also be dressed as Elvis, Judy Garland or Boby Dylan…
GOOD news! Nice Yiddisher boys with braces are on trend at the Royal College of Art graduate fashion show, London.
A model wears designs by Lucie Vincini.
Porcupine faces by Maiko Takeda
AHMED Angel might be the world’s greatest male model. An international icon, Ahmed speaks Arabic, English, Russian and French.
TO the Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum – New York. The theme was Punk: Chaos to Couture. Whoah! Punk, you say. All bullet-hard leather jackets, super-glue hair and snot. The A-list artistes would do counterculture and DIY fashion. Would any be brave enough for a Nazi helmet? Well, no. This is what punk looks like when you hire a stylist to dress you as one. It’s like watching a Hampshire golf club putting on a performance of Derek Jarman’s Jubilee:
PRIMARK, the highly profitable budget fashion retailer owned by Associated British Foods, has vowed to compensate loved ones of the 350 people killed when the Savar clothing factory collapsed in Dhaka,Bangladesh. Primark said it “accepts all its responsibilities in this disaster”.
Back on February 21, Retail Week reported on Primark. When the horse meat scandal topped the news cycle, Primark’s Katherine Kirk, Primark’s ethical trading director spoke:
“I agree with the principle of sharing information, which we do through the Better Work Programme, but the issue with other programmes and audits, as we’ve lived and learned, is that if a supplier has paid for an audit it might not have as much detail as one we are paying for ourselves.”
Primark, which previously suffered exposés on alleged poor working practices in its supply chain, has dramatically stepped up monitoring of its suppliers since 2009 when it appointed Kirk. She has built up a team of 30 staff working on ethical trade in Bangladesh, China, India and Turkey. They carry out factory audits of all suppliers before Primark places an order.
Using its own team gives Primark faith in assessments and allows it to immediately tackle any problems.
IN 1977. Vogue magazine hooked onto the Star Wars craze with a feature called THE FORCE OF FUR: Vogue fashion spread from 1977. Jerry Hall, Darth Vader, C3PO, Stormtroopers and Jawas real;sied that with fur comes intergalactic harmony.
In the first picture, Hall is wearing a Wookie:
FASHION company Wool&Prince claims you can wear their shirts for 100 days straight and still feel fresher than a daisy in Will Smith’s hair.
Wool&Prince founder “Mac” wore his company’s shirt for 100 days and felt fine. No washing. No ironing.
IS Mangerie a thing? If not, it is now as a company called HommeMystere has decided to make women’s lingerie for men. They’re offering things like thongs and padded bras, and hope to change the landscape of men’s underwear.
The Australian firm said their under garments include ‘comfortable men’s panties that really do fit, bra straps that don’t fall off the shoulder, teddies that don’t ride up halfway through the night and quality soft fabrics that feel great for all day wear’.
SOFT Paris is a French knickers and undies company (that’s lingerie – ed) aiming to teach the clueless, potato-sack-clad British woman how to dress for sex. To promote the brand, the company has issued its 10 steps to seduction. Most British men would be happy with availability and warmth. But we can all be more. Says Soft Paris:
Why do English women hunch over, either shuffling or stomping? This is not seductive. Take the time to look around you, proudly, chin up/shoulders back, walking with one foot almost in front of the other, to undulate your hips provocatively.
KICK STARTER project of the DAY: The Shirt Shirt. It might be a parody:
SWEDISH fashion store H&M is wrapping its outfits on size 40-42 mannequins. What it invests in more plastic and reduced floor space, it will reap in good PR.
HOW do you tie an Eldredge knot in your tie? The knot is the work of Jeffrey Eldrege. The creator of the Eldredge explains:
“Tying a four-in-hand every day got old. So I looked up how to tie other knots when I happened across this video tutorial for the ‘Ediety Knot‘ which introduced me to the concept of tying a knot using the tail end of the tie. I didn’t do anything special to actually develop the knot save play around with a tie until I found something I liked…In real time it took maybe two years to perfect.
NEVER again need you be unprepared at the beach or pool. When the hot weather hits, you can strip off your ComfiSlax ans showcase your CUW JeanPants Underwear *. These snug cotton boxer shorts look like a pair of very tight jean cutoff shorts. You’re the Duke in Daisy.
* Also worked for Aussie Rules!
THE Oscars 2013 – who wore what. Nicole Kidman cam dressed as a Dubai beach oil slick; Jessica Chatain looked Hollywood fabulous; Charlize Theron looked elegant; Adele looked meh; Jennifer Aniston had channeled her personality into her dress (dullsville); Bradley Cooper’s mum wore Ostrich by Bernie Clifton; Naomi Watts’ dress was unfinished; Catherine Zeta Jones wore a face that makes an Oscar look pot-marked; and Anne Hathaway has a tissue tucked in somewhere:
“HAVING a moustache was always a big thing, ever since the Ottoman time. Most Arab leaders have moostache, or some form of facial hair. I think culturally it suggests masculinity, wisdom and experience.”So says one Saudi Arabia-based journalist about the fashion for moustache transplants.
Dr Selhattin Tulunay runs a moustache-replacement service in Istanbul. He performs 50 to 60 mouschache transplants a month.
“For some men who look young and junior, they think (a moustache) is a must to look senior… more professional and wise. They think it is prestigious. They have some celebrities as role models, like Turkish singer and actor Ibrahim Tatlises. Politicians think a moustanche will boost their appeal to voters.”