Fashion | Anorak - Part 5

Fashion Category

Style and celebrity – fashion photos, news and trends.

Arsenal And Liverpool Players Top List Of 7 Awful Premier League Haircuts

FOOTBALLERS, bless ’em, haven’t worked out the ideal formula involving brains, fashion and money. Everyone remembers Liverpool’s white FA Cup suits and eyebrows were raised when Davey Beckham wore a sarong… and not as many remember John Barnes’ ‘bird shit jacket’ he wore as a presenter on Channel 5.

However, the worst decisions footballers make tend to involve their hair. And in the Premier League, we’ve been blessed with some players who make mystifying decisions.

Here, we look at some of the ones you may have forgotten.

Cesc Fabregas

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Posted: 30th, October 2013 | In: Fashion, Sports | Comment

6 Crucial Dos And Don’ts Of Men’s Fashion

MEN’s fashion is always up for a laugh. Anorak advises keeping it simple and always tucking your vest into your Y-fronts. Jessica Saia has created this guide to men’s fashion. Spotetr: bold italic

do dont 5

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Posted: 30th, October 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment

Shreddies: The Men Knickers That Filter Your Bottom Burps


LEICESTERSHIRE’S Shreddies Ltd. brings us knickers and pants that filter your farts.

The thin and flexible cloth, which contains Zorflex® — the same activated carbon material used in chemical warfare suits — is reactivated simply by washing the pants. Shreddies say through extensive testing the carbon cloth could filter odors 200 times the strength of the average flatus emission.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment

Marketing Balls: Nike Launch Ronaldo’s New Real Madrid Boot In A Supernova Of Guff


WANT to buy Cristiano Ronaldo’s new Nike Mercurial IX CR7 boot, complete with ‘supernova’ skin print (in homage to Ronaldo’s “out of this world” performances since joining Real Madrid)?

In case you are still undecided as ty the merits of walking in Ronaldo’s shoes, the official Nike blurb, courtesy of design director Denis Dekovic, should seduce you

“The concept of a star that burns brighter than others reflects Cristiano’s style, speed and the idea that as a player he plays without limits, much like the outer reaches of the galaxy. What Cristiano is able to achieve on the field is something that we felt was limitless. So we took that direction and focused on creating a highly luxurious finish fused with modern print and colour choices.”

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Fashion, Sports | Comment

Courtney Stodden Stars On FashionMINGA.Com Red Carpet

WE are indebted to D-listed for pointing us towards  LA’s


Is it a fashion site for mingas?

Fashion Minga is a collaboration of designers, performers, and tastemakers coming together to celebrate the various components that inspire fashion: music, dance, color, shape and visual elements.

But Minga..

“Minga” is an Ecuadorian term for “a community coming together to work for the benefit of all”. 

So. It isn’t just a British term for, as the Urban Dictionary defines:

a male or female who fell out of the ugly tree at birth and hit every branch on the way down
God that girl/boy is so minging she really needs to work on her personality


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Posted: 20th, October 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment

Tamara Mellon On Jimmy Choo, Mr Mellon Head And Her Therpay Bashing Mother


IN My Shoes: a Memoir by Tamara Mellon with William Patrick, tell the story if the woman who helped Malaysian cobbler Jimmy Choo become a to-die-for brand of the well-heeled. The book might be subtitled Putting Leboutin (geddit?) because Mellon has a few bon mots about her business partners and lovers.

A few highlights from her chat with the Times’s Stefanie Marsh:

She tweeted:

“In the New Year. I will give interviews and talk about the MONSTER Private Equity has become and the VULTURES that operate in it.”

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Posted: 19th, October 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment






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Posted: 14th, October 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment

How Barack Obama, Michael Jackson and Britney Spears can help you evade the NSA and Facebook spooks

HOW can you prevent your face from being known by the authorities searching the American-corporation-owned web? Wear a burqa. A beard? Be old and grey (the ultimate invisibility cloak)? Dutch designer Simone C. Niquille has an idea how you can dodge facial-recognition software: wear clothes covered in pictures of other people. Her “REALFACE Glamoflage” T-shirts are great. She says:

“I was interested in the T-shirt as a mundane commodity. An article of clothing that in most cases does not need much consideration in the morning in front of the closet…I was interested in creating a tool for privacy protection that wouldn’t require much time to think in the morning, an accessory that would seamlessly fit in your existing everyday. No adaption period needed.”

simone C Niquelle 2


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Posted: 6th, October 2013 | In: Fashion, Technology | Comment

A guide to Acceptable and Unacceptable facial hair

SAYS artist Mike Mitchell of this guide to facial hair featuring Nick Offerman:

Here is one of the illustrations I did for Nick Offerman’s new book Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living.

So stoked to be sharing this with everyone. Had a lot of fun working with him on it. He’s the best. 

facial hair

Posted: 4th, October 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment

Manchester City beaten by a bemused teacher on a Hugo Boss fashion shoot

PA-17799775THE media love former Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola. But what did the current Bayern Munich coach look like as his side beat Manchester City?

The Daily Mail:

Midway through the first half Pep Guardiola withdrew a notebook from the breast pocket of his classic, threequarter-length navy jacket… [he]looks like a man who has just walked off the set of a fashion shoot for GQ magazine.

Daily Telegraph:

Guardiola, a refugee from a Hugo Boss campaign…


He’s stylish. Or as the Daily Mirror see it:

“With his slate-grey woolly jumper and matching regulation drainpipes, Pep Guardiola looks all the world a bemused teacher on a school outing”

Such are teh facts…

Posted: 3rd, October 2013 | In: Fashion, Sports | Comment

How Trendy Are You? Take the 1983 taste chellenge

ON August 18, 1983, Smash Hits magazine asked ‘How Trendy Are You?’ Take the quiz:

1980s trendy

1980s trendy answers


1980s trendy answers 1

1980s trendy answers 2


Posted: 3rd, October 2013 | In: Fashion, Flashback | Comment

1960s Space Age fashion – a retrospective

IN the 1960s, fashion designers looked to the stars for inspiration. The Space Race was well underway. Fashion would harness the spirit of the rocketeers with sleek lines, shiny fabrics and the chance to see the world through visors.

Will Kane

Never get lipstick in your eyes ever again.

will kane



You say, cutting-edge fashion. We say, best to check the machine for red socks before washing your Star Wars Storm Troopers armour.

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Posted: 26th, September 2013 | In: Fashion, Flashback | Comment

Ed Miliband’s bespoke suit carries the tag: ‘Spencer Hart sincerely hopes you get laid in this product’


DO we care that Ed Miliband wore a bespoke Spencer Hart suit for his address to Labour Party conference? His shoes, however, were from Marks And Sparks.

One odd thing about Ed’s Hart suit: if you peer inside the jacket’s wallet pocket, the tailor has written a message:

“Hand made for Ed Miliband in the year of ****. Spencer Hart sincerely hopes you get laid in this product.”

Well, someone’s getting screwed…



Posted: 24th, September 2013 | In: Fashion, Politicians | Comment

The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

THE decline of Man: modern man is in a state of crisis, reared on a diet of creams, depilated, patent skin and self-tanning unguents. Here, Anorak looks at the fall of manhood.

Actor George Clooney arrives at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Sunday Jan. 13, 2013, in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)


“I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles. It’s a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ‘ball ironing’.”

It is generally assumed that George Clooney was joking when he delivered the above quote. One thing is true, though: ‘ball ironing’ (or ‘male laser lift’) is available at the Beauty Park in Santa Monica for just under $600, and it is proving very popular.

Clooney may not have had the treatment himself, but his familiarity with it is cause for concern. It’s just the latest in a series of milestones in the steady emasculation of our role models. And the rot set in, as it so often did, in the 1950s.


Dennis Compton

Library file 71904-3 dated 1958 of (l/r) John Mills, Dennis Compton, Burt Lancaster and Frankie Vaughan.

Compton (second left, with Burt Lancaster and Frankie Vaughan) was a brilliant batsman with a Test average of 50 (including over 200 runs in one match against South Africa using an antique bat borrowed from the cricket museum). He also found time to play football for Arsenal, with whom he won both the league championship and the FA Cup. Unfortunately, he also became the face of Brylcreem, and set the tone for future generations of sportsmen to dabble in the darker corners of male grooming.

Man3 (1)


Elvis Presley


Presley offended people in numerous ways –not least with his habit of wearing eye makeup. None of which stopped him from being drafted into the US Army. Here the prospective GI sits his written military exam, in slightly more discreet slap.

Singer Elvis Presley, 21, takes his pre-induction written examination as he is processed for the U.S. Army in Memphis, Tenn., Jan. 4, 1957. (AP Photo)


Henry Cooper

As deodorant manufacturers attempted to broaden their appeal to the male half of the population, they recruited macho sporty types like Our ’Enery (’ere wiv’ ’Arvey Smiff) who here advertises Brut with the immortal slogan ‘Splash it all over’.


Ron Atkinson

Big Ron: The Sunbed Years.

Man6 (1)


Graham Gooch

Graham Gooch, Essex

In his playing days as opening bat for England, ‘Goochy’ sported an imperial moustache and resembled an officer at Rourk’s Drift. His subsequent hair transplant came as something of a shock – and led to a series of rather defensive gestures. Defensive, not about the fact of the transplant, but the quality of the weave itself.

Here Gooch, as the official caption puts it, ‘test[s] his hair replacement treatment in a Central London health Gym, to disprove claims that the treatment does not work. The former England captain is at the centre of an disgreement, after a client of AHS (Advanced Hair Studio) along with the Advertising Standards Authority claimed that adverts claiming that Gooch could swim, shower, and play sport with his hair treatment were wrong and misleading.’

The former Essex and England cricket star Graham Gooch , lets British athlete Sarah Wilhelmy (left) and model Helena Boyko, test his hair replacement treatment in a Central London health Gym, to disprove claims that the treatment does not work.   * The former England captain is at the centre of an disgreement, after a client of AHS (Advanced Hair Studio) along with the Advertising Standards Authority claimed that adverts claiming that Gooch could swim, shower, and play sport with his hair treatment were wrong and misleading.


David Beckham

Manchester United and England star David Beckham following in the footsteps of Denis Compton after announcing his sponsorship deal with Brylcreem. The football star has signed a minimum two year deal with the hair product range.

The signs were there as a young boy, when he enjoyed wearing knickerbockers and ballet shoes. Later we had his own take on Brylcreem advertising (above) and experiments with sarongs. His nomination here, however, is for his championing of the ‘back. sack and crack’ – the logical conclusion of the waxing mania that overtook British manhood in the twenty-first century.

Luis Figo

Deserves his place here for his role in the general poncification of older men, with his truly terrible Just For Men advertisement – a product for disguising grey hair and beards and allowing old men to kid themselves that they are attractive to women half their age.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Rio Ferdinand

AKA: Ronaldo and Rio in hotpants hell. What were they thinking? Seriously?


Shane Warne


He held his hands up to the hair transplant, and fair play to him for that, but Shane’s explanation for his subsequent transformation into a taught-faced waxwork is altogether less convincing: he attributed it to ‘good moisturiser’. Others spoke of botox, facelifts and teeth whitening. Wherefore art thou, Warney-o?

Leinster Rugby


The citadel falls. Once upon a time the best you could hope for in a rugby union changing room was a bar of coal tar soap and a turd in your kit bag. Now you are more likely to find a range of hair and skin care products. Leinster Rugby are now sponsored by Nivea for Men. Or should that be ‘Men’?

O tempora, o mores!

Man14 (1)


Posted: 24th, July 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)

Teacher Dale Irby wears same outfit to school for 40 years

Retired gym teacher Dale Irby

DALE Irby is the gym teacher who found a look that worked and went with it. From his first yearbook photo in 1973 at Prestonwood Elementary school, Texas, to 2013, Mr Irby wore the same outfit.

To begin with it was an accident. In the 1970s, brown was pretty much the only colour a man was permitted to wear. In 1973, Mr Irby wore his ubiquitous brown tank top over a light brown shirt for the school photo. In 1974, he was still wearing it for the next snapshot.

His wife  noticed. She dared him to wear the same outfit every year. For one thing it would funny. For another, it would keep his weight down.

It became a theme.

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Posted: 3rd, July 2013 | In: Fashion, Reviews | Comment (1)

Good cops in bad t-shirts – when police revel in violence

THE police in the US of A are armed. They are able to dispense ultimate justice at the flick of a trigger finger. This makes them powerful. It should make them cautious and respctful of their badge. However, it can also make them gung-ho, threatening, bellicose and militaristic.

Radley Balko is author of the forthcoming book, Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America’s Police Forces. He’s compiled examples of slogan-heavy T-shirts sold and won by police officers. These include  T-shirts that see men as quarry and children as animals:


An anonymous public defender sent Gothamist this photo of an NYPD warrant squad officer wearing a t-shirt with a pretty quote from Ernest Hemingway:

An anonymous public defender sent Gothamist this photo of an NYPD warrant squad officer wearing a t-shirt with a pretty quote from Ernest Hemingway.

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Posted: 1st, July 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

All hail the coat made from human chest hair (Chelsea FC launch new fashion range)


HEY fashionistas! Want a unique piece of clothing that will make everyone else green? Okay, they might go green with nausea rather than envy, but that’s the price of fashion right?

Let us introduce to you, a fur coat made completely of male chest hair!

And how much will this set you back? A glorious £2,499! That’s because it is a limited edition number, commissioned by dairy company Arla (in conjunction with the launch of the male-targeted chocolate milk Wing-co) and one can only assume the humans used for the fur were slaughtered in a huge warehouse like screaming piglets.

Or maybe this is what happens to all the hair shaved and plucked from Chelsea and Manchester United footballers? 

Each fur coat comprises around one million hairs.

A Wing-co spokesperson said:

“We commissioned the Man-Fur Coat as a wake-up call for the nation’s gents. [The coat is] a way to encourage them to readopt the values of assured ‘men’s men’ from yesteryear who would laugh nonchalantly in the face of adversity and be proud of their abundant manliness.”

Or, they could just grow a beard.

Posted: 27th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment

The 21 most hilarious outfits from Men’s Fashion Week – London Summer 2013

MENS’s Fashion gives until the laughter hurts our ears. We went to London Fashion week to see the men wearing what all the cool kids will be sporting soon:

A model on the catwalk at the Nasir Hazhar fashion show, held at the Victoria House venue during London Collections: Men.

A model on the catwalk at the Nasir Hazhar fashion show, held at the Victoria House venue during London Collections: Men.

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Posted: 20th, June 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts | Comment

China teens wear Kardashian legs to deter perverts

HOW do you deter a Chinese pervert? No, not a question to Roy Chubby Brown’s audience, rather one posed to millions of women on Weibo (China’s Twitter). Well, the answer is to dress up like pre-depilated Kim Kardashian. Los Angeles, the city that gave Basildon the tattoo sleeves, now gives Beijing the hairy leg:

“Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out.”

Of course, this might just be Prince William showing off his plucked feet. The web can be full of lies. It’s hard to know what to believe.

And what about the perverts who get turned on by well-carpeted young girls? Catering for perverts is a hazardous business. Whatever you do, someone is going to get excited…

hairy legs


Spotter: Laughing Squid 

Posted: 19th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment (1)