Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 2

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Woman divorces husband after he spent $50,000 on a great record collection

record collection high fidelity

 

On eBay the story of a broken marriage and a big record collection:

My ex-husband was a big jerk! While that’s the main reason that I divorced him, the final straw was that he spent just over $50,000 buying a stupid huge record collection. Even though it was a good buy, and a sound investment (no pun intended), I felt the money (which was all we had and half mine) should have gone to pay off our mortgage, or put the kids through college, or saved for our retirement, or at least spent on something we could enjoy together, like a second honeymoon (our first was a weekend in Cleveland at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame).

While I honestly know next to nothing about records, he was thrilled and kept bragging about how these were all original pressings from the 1950’s, 60’s & 70’s, that it was the most complete gathering of collectible Rock, Rockabilly, R&B, British Invasion, Motown, Acid, Psych and Folk he’d ever seen (over 5000 albums and over 1000 45’s), and how rare it was that most had never even been played once (why would anyone buy a record and never play it?).

So that’s why I was so nonplused that he left the entire collection to me when he died (maybe he honestly felt some remorse? Nah). Anyway, I don’t want it, so I’m offering them all to you (it will probably take me months to list them all). Please feel free to make an offer on the whole darn thing, or to ask if I have a particular record, or any other questions (which I’ll do my best to answer; though again, I don’t know much at all). All prices are flexible (I’m basing them on what others are selling for), and I would be happy to entertain any offers.

Spotter: ClashMusic

Posted: 11th, January 2018 | In: Music, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


H&M woo racist shoppers with black boy in a monkey jumper

How did you feel when you saw the H&M advert for a child’s top featuring the legend “Coolest Monkey in the Jungle”? Abel Tesfaye, aka The Weekend, tweeted “woke up this morning shocked and embarrassed by this photo. i’m deeply offended and will not be working with @hm anymore…”

The photo? This one:

 

coolest monkey in the jungle h&m

 

And then Manchester United’s Romelu Lukaku shared the image with his Instagram followers, adding his own logo-style caption: “You’re prince soon to be a king. Don’t let anybody tell you different.” Basketball star LeBron James used his Instagram post to add his own logo: “when I look at this photo I see a Young King!!”

H&M-endorsed rapper G-Eazy also called the child “coolest king of the world”, adding: “Unfortunately, after seeing the disturbing image yesterday, my excitement over our global campaign quickly evaporated, and I’ve decided at this time our partnership needs to end. Whether an oblivious oversight or not, it’s truly sad and disturbing that in 2018, something so racially and culturally insensitive could pass by the eyes of so many (stylist, photographer, creative and marketing teams) and be deemed acceptable.”

H&M duly begged for forgiveness. “This image has now been removed from all H&M channels and we apologise to anyone this may have offended…We are deeply sorry that the picture was taken…We’ll thoroughly investigate why this happened to prevent this type of mistake from happening again.”

Best tell the child and his parents that calling him a “little monkey” is racist, moreover accusing him of “monkeying around” or being a “cheeky monkey”.

 

h&m clothing racist

Also my H&M – more life-affirming slogan and locations

 

And, of course, politicians get involved. Labour MP Kate Osamor tweeted: “I was totally shocked, dismayed to say the very least, to find this online imagine. hm do you think this imagery is an appropriate representation of a young black boy?”

Maybe they only saw ‘the boy’? Maybe you have to be obsessed with race to spot the offence? Maybe we pick our prejudices, and being shocked and dismayed by a black boy in a top is more upsetting than Labour’s problem with anti-Semitism? Explicit racism is obvious. Was the child model paid less than the others? The implicit stuff is tricky. How do you go about defending yourself against accusations that your subconscious opinions are wrong? Is the safest option to accuse others of racism first and in their apologies and entrails find evidence of your own clean mind?

One Indy writer opines: “Their intention was clearly not to cause offence; it just obviously didn’t enter their minds to think seriously about their black customers.” So what’s the point of featuring black models – to appeal to non-black customers who don’t mind a bit of racism, or maybe even enjoy it? Well, yeah. A HuffPost writer calls it a “blatantly racist advertising campaign”. Klan members form an orderly queue.

The Indy writer adds: “A glance at their all-white board of directors tells you everything you need to know.” From being on the board of a Swedish clothing company, H&M directors are now suspects. As are well all…

 

Posted: 10th, January 2018 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


Fire and Fury: Michael Wolfe’s Donald Trump expose is available as a pop-up book

“I’ve made a pop-up easy reader version of Fire and Fury so Donald can see what all the fuss is about,” tweets Happy Toast. The book, by Michael Wolfe, is making waves, accusing Donald Trump of not wanting to become president and being a doofus.

 

 

Spotter: @IamHappyToast

Posted: 6th, January 2018 | In: Books, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


Former Chelsea midfielder Michael Essien honoured with mishappen statue

Football fans in Ghana have paid tribute to former Chelsea midfielder Michael Essien. They’ve erected a weird statue in his honour. The life-size totem to Essien stands in Kumasi, Ghana’s second city.

 

essien-statue-chelsea-ghana

Via

Photo: @addojunr/Twitter

Did the artist ever seen Essien in the flesh, or just view him on 8ibit video games?

 

Posted: 4th, January 2018 | In: Chelsea, Sports, The Consumer | Comment


RyanAir passenger exits via the emergency door at Malaga Airport

“This man decided he wasn’t going to wait any longer. He activated the emergency door and left, saying: ‘I’m going via the wing’. It was surreal. He was sat on the wing for quite a while until the crew managed to get him back inside.” So says Fernando Del Valle Villalobos as he recalls how a fellow passenger on board a delayed RyanAir flight from Stansted to Malaga, Spain, grew tired of waiting to disembark and opted for the quicker exit.

The traveller, a 57-year-old Polish national, sat on the wing of flight FR8164 with his hand luggage. The plane sat on the tarmac. Coaxed back inside the plane, he was soon arrested.

A spokesman for Ryanair goes on the record: “This airport security breach occurred after landing in Malaga airport on 1 January. Malaga airport police immediately arrested the passenger in question and since this was a breach of Spanish safety and security regulations, it is being dealt with by the Spanish authorities.”

Reports that the man was a RyanAir employee investigating new classes of travel, and doing away with steps, are wide of the mark. Probably.

Posted: 3rd, January 2018 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


Swede paints huge pink penis in Chinese area of New York

The four-storey painting of a penis on the side of a building in Broome Street, New York, has been painted over. Carolina Falkholt’s massive knob is a mural bookend to her huge “abstract vagina” on the city’s Pike Street.

“I usually paint giant vaginas, pussies and cunts,” says Falkholt, “and since I had just finished one on the side of a five-storey building, I felt like a dick was needed. The wall space on Broome was a perfect fit for it. To paraphrase [the artist] Judith Bernstein, if a dick can go into a woman, it can go up on a wall.”

Something to think about, readers, as you take a wazz down the side of the pub. Aim high. Aim proud.

Or maybe do it on your own house. “We don’t like it, and we hope they take it down,” says a local. For reasons unclear the Guardian says the area is a “mainly Chinese neighbourhood”. Why would a Swedish woman paint a huge pink penis in an area mostly occupied by non-pink Chinese people? If identity matters, which the papers suggests it does, why not think bigger and get your huge dick on a Protestant skyscraper?

And adolescents cannot help but notice that the penis is not attached to the man, let alone a Weinstein, Clinton or Trump. No balls. No ejaculate. No intern. Nothing an adolescent would consider all that good. It’s a painting of a giant dildo. It’s not edgy and daring. It’s a blunt tool, although useful, perhaps, to assist Kevin Spacey, Louis CK et al in ‘battling their demons’…

Posted: 28th, December 2017 | In: News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


The ultimate egg braking machine

All I want for Christmas is the ‘Egg Breaker eight line RZ-8, Wybijarka ośmiorzędowa RZ-8 OVO-TECH’:

 

Posted: 23rd, December 2017 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment


A terrifying talking Donald Trump robot debuts at Disney World

 

No sooner has Disney taken over Fox, President Trump’s favourite new bringer, than a terrifying talking Donald Trump robot debuts at Disney World. TrumpBot stands alongside other American presidents, like Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, and George Washington. All can be seen at the Mouse House’s Hall of Presidents.

Mickey Mouse Presidents, you say? Mickey Mouse is defined by the Urban Dictionary as: “Substandard, poorly executed or organized. Amateurish.” Bit harsh.

Anyhow, here’s roboDon:

“From the beginning, America has been a nation defined by its people. At our founding, it was the American people who rose up to defend our freedoms and win our independence. It was why our Founders began our great Constitution with three very simple words: We the people. Since that moment, each generation of Americans has taken its place in the defense of our freedom, our flag, and our nation under God.”

He does not say, “Grab her by the pussy!”

 

Posted: 19th, December 2017 | In: News, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


Barry R. Glazer might be the world’s most honest lawyer: ‘I’m in it for vengeance’

 

Baltimore-based lawyer Barry R. Glazer is “in it for vengeance”. He has money. He’s been an attorney since 1968. And the principle – that thing that makes lawyer’s go ker-ching! – is for the idiots. This is about retribution. If his gun jammed, Judge Dredd would hire Barry Glazer.

Barry’s been hailed in film. You’ll hear his catchphrase – “Don’t urinate on my leg and tell me it’s raining” – and that he’s “Making it rain for the urinated upon”:

 

 

And now for more messages from Barry:

 

Posted: 15th, December 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


William Gass and his hates (July 30, 1924 – December 6, 2017 )

the tunnel william gass hate

 

William Gass (July 30, 1924 – December 6, 2017 ) has words to the wise, telling the Paris Review in 1976

“If someone asks me, ‘Why do you write?’ I can reply by pointing out that it is a very dumb question. Nevertheless, there is an answer. I write because I hate. A lot. Hard. And if someone asks me the inevitable next dumb question, ‘Why do you write the way you do?’ I must answer that I wish to make my hatred acceptable because my hatred is much of me, if not the best part. Writing is a way of making the writer acceptable to the world—every cheap, dumb, nasty thought, every despicable desire, every noble sentiment, every expensive taste.”

Hate has been criminalised. Hate crime. Hate speech. Haters. Hate is bad in the therapeutic age of conformity.

Posted: 9th, December 2017 | In: Books | Comment


Pimp my cement mixer: artist creates the disco ball truck

cement glitterball

 

Public art is uplifting.  Benedetto Bufalino pimped a truck into a Disco Ball Cement Mixer.

 

 

 

Spotter: Designboom

Posted: 9th, December 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Donald Trump ate my bomb and other dinners

If we are what we eat, news that Donald Trump eats McDonald’s interests us. You might suppose it’s a clear sign that Trump is of the people. No, not at one with the abstemious dieters and juicers; rather allied to the fat Untermensch who like fast food.  It might also indicate that if you put his name on something he has to have it.

Trump’s former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski and aid David Bossie, have written a book about working with the President. Just as it is with showbiz weddings in OK! magazine and death row prisoners’ last rights, we want to know about the eats. “Trump’s appetite seems to know no bounds when it comes to McDonald’s, ” they write “with a dinner order consisting of two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish, and a chocolate malted.”

Deelish.

They continue: “On Trump Force One there were four major food groups: McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza, and Diet Coke.”

Fried food chased down by the lo-cal beverage. The man can be restrained.

As Melania Trump watches her man eat and eat and eat from behind dark glasses, her nails taping on the ceiling of Air Force One as if if counting heartbeats, we read that the plane’s galley is “stacked with Vienna Fingers, potato chips, pretzels, and many packages of Oreos”.

Double deelish.

But hold on. James Hamblin looks into the entrails of Trump’s lunch and sees the whole man. Writing in the Atlantic, he opines:

Decisions to live this way would seem to offer insight into Trump’s ability to assess risk. In light of a nuclear standoff with North Korea, rapidly warming oceans, and a looming tax bill that would leave millions more Americans without health insurance, his approach to self-maintenance is not reassuring.

Vote for the vegetarian, right.

Posted: 6th, December 2017 | In: News, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


Miss Havisham insult teacups to die for

For tea with dash of bite and spite, may we suggest Miss Havisham’s sets?

 

 

Great fun. And perfect for some of the countr;’s best tea shops.

In 2007, Brighton’s Tea Cosy instituted a set of rules. Owner David Daly forbade anyone from resting their elbows on the table, insulting the Queen, handling sugar cubes and sipping from teaspoons, which must never be allowed to chink against the cup. Said Mr Daly: “I am just keen to teach people of the joys of a civilised cup of tea. People have to obey the rules in my tea rooms and if not they are asked to leave.”

Those of a vintage will recognise the name John Fothergill, mein host at The Spread Eagle in Thame in the 1920s and 30s, writer of the Innkeeper’s Diary, dramatised for BBC2 in 1981:

The fellow said, ‘I’ll never come here again,’ to which I replied, ‘Yes, but will you give me another undertaking: to tell all your friends not to come?’”

And there was Kim Tickell, aka Kim Joseph Hollick de la Taste Tickell, who ran the Tickell Arms outside Cambridge until his death in 1990.

* After parking carefully you approached the front door, on which was posted a long handwritten list of house rules – No Long-Haired Lefties, No Tee Shirts, No Trainers, No CND-ers and so on. The Squire himself usually presided over his empire in 18th century style attire including knee breeches and an eye glass. He was spectacularly rude, usually for no good reason, and was prone to outrageous behaviour. He once poured the ice bucket down a customer’s trousers because his shirt had come untucked and he was therefore “undressed”. A large pair of scissors was kept behind the bar so he could snip off any ties which offended him. Should a customer not have parked sufficiently neatly, he would call out their number plates through a megaphone, demanding they adjust the vehicle now. The walls were adorned with large weapons which he sometimes used for chasing people out of the building.

 

Pass the lemons…

 

 

Miss Havisham’s teacups.

Spotter: Boing Boing

Posted: 5th, December 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Trumpy Bear: your very own Donald Trump-themed teddy to groom

Stuck for gift ideas? Looking for a warm hug ? Want something to groom? Well, Trumpybear is the answer.

 

Trump bear

 

Trumpy Bear is a plush 22″ bear with an attached 28″ by 30″ flag themed blanket. $39.90 plus $6.95 shipping. Trumpy has a zippered neck where the blanket is stored. Texas residents will be charged sales tax at the rate of 8.25%- all other states are neither collected nor remitted.

Do not set detonate your bear, pull its hair nor delve inside for sign of substance:

There is a 30 day money back guarantee for product price only. Shipping charges non refundable. Sorry, we cannot accept returns of intentionally damaged bears. Most orders are shipped within three business days. However, during periods of excess demand, please allow up to 6 weeks for delivery.

 

Trump bear donald trump tedy

 

‘God bless Anerica. And Good Bless Trumpy Bear!”

 


Spotter: TrumpBear

Posted: 29th, November 2017 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


The Daily Mail versus The Guardian: wrapping Nazis and eugenics in Paperchase guff

Have you boycotted Paperchase, sellers of printed stationery – yep, people really do still send letters (though not to Daily Mail readers who communicate by holding their noses and yelling into the wind)?  Hope not. Paperchase tried its best to shine a light into society’s darkest recess. It reached out to the Daily Mail’s  Untermensch readership, hoping that in offering them two free rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, they’d be put on the path to decency.

 

paperchase brexit

Paperchase – not fan of Brexit

 

But Stop Funding Hate thought Mail readers beyond salvation and bombarded Paperchase’s social media account with complaints. Paperchase didn’t rescind the offer, but did vow never again to reach down into the sewer. It was “truly sorry”. Some people are just not worth the effort. Wrapping paper is a not a right; it’s a moral choice. The tree gods gladly give up their own to wrap useful gifts like photos of Jeremy Corbyn, DVDs of The 100 Best Silences and the Pop-Up Book of Safe Spaces. But save for the odd Japanese knot weed and leylandii, no vegetation wants to be seen dead around the kind of stuff Mail readers buy at Christmas – jackboots, flaming torches and Jeremy Clarkson audio tapes.

Sarah Baxter tells Times readers Stop Funding Hate is interested in muzzling the Press. The group’s founder, Richard Wilson, ‘admitted on Newsnight that “the end point for us is a media that does the job we all want it to”.’ Which is? Baxter says it’s “suppressing the array of opinion reflected in the British press… Stop Funding Hate, however, has morphed into an arrogant group of hate-mongering activists who are outraged about an ever-expanding range of subjects”.

The idea is simple: starve the publication you don’t like of advertising money and watch it die. If this also deprives thick-as-custard people of reading the tabloids, all to the good. If those mouth-breathers can’t be banned from sharing views of the right-minded, their reading material must be censored. The caring Left knows best.

The Advertising Association is concerned, stating: “The UK has a free press and advertising plays a vital role in funding that. Pressure group lobbying of this kind has negative implications for our press freedom.” Advertising body Isba, warns: “We shouldn’t take for granted the freedom of the press.”

Over in the Guardian, which would surely be the only newspaper on the bottom shelf when the anti-haters have won the day, Peter Peston thunders:

Stop Funding Hate may legitimately urge Mail readers to quit (and Mail readers may, equally legitimately, examine the causes SFH espouses and make up their own minds). But trolling rather nervous companies such as Paperchase isn’t legitimate. It’s the thin end of a dangerous wedge – with no winners in sight, from left or right.

As last week’s Ipso complaints ruling on Trevor Kavanagh’s “The Muslim Problem” column for the Sun mordantly observes: “There is no clause in the editors’ code which prohibits publication of offensive content”. Nor should there be.

In the same paper, Stewart Lee writes beneath the headline: “My futile attempt to sell satire to the Daily Mail.” Well, the paper does employ the sublime Craig Brown, so maybe he’s enough? Guardian readers are told:

Usually, I am the sort of person who thinks that anyone who has ever worked for the Daily Mail is worse than Adolf Hitler, even the temps and the tea lady. And I’m not alone. So disgusted are youth voters by the repellent newspaper, it’s now clear that the Daily Mail’s increasingly hysterical attacks on Jeremy Corbyn, the coddled egg of British politics, may even have helped secure his triumphant loss in the last general election.

Worse than Hitler? Satire, right? Phew! And people not voting for Corbyn because the Mail told them, too? I thought it was about anti-Semitism. But, then, I’ve not been keeping up with the Guardian’s news on Jews and Jezza’ Labour Party, not since one of their columnists wrote in the Guardian: “I have developed a habit when confronted by letters to the editor in support of the Israeli government to look at the signature to see if the writer has a Jewish name. If so, I tend not to read it.”

I didn’t call for a boycott. And the sport pages are good. Boycotts are, after all, for censors and Nazis.

Lee also turns to the subject of Nazis, riffing on when the Mail hailed the blackshirts.

And a sepia-toned card of the first Viscount Rothermere, the paper’s 1930s proprietor, declares, in Daily Mail font, “I urge all British young men and women to study the Nazi regime in Germany. There is a clamorous campaign of denunciation against ‘Nazi atrocities’ which consist merely of a few isolated acts of violence, but which have been generalised, multiplied and exaggerated to give the impression that Nazi rule is a bloodthirsty tyranny. Congratulations on passing your driving test.”

Haha. Got one about the Guardian opposing the creation of the National Health Service as it feared the state provision of healthcare would “eliminate selective elimination”?

This is not to defend the Mail. It’s to highlight how censorship is formed by bigotry.

Owen Jones disagrees. He writes in the Guardian: “Paperchase rejecting the Daily Mail is another victory against hatred.” No, he’s not being ironic.

This paper, whose less than glorious history includes cheerleading for the Nazis and Oswald Mosley’s blackshirts, is one of the most vindictive bullies in Britain.

And the Guardian? The Spectator tells us that not all leading figures in the Left, including eugenicist George Bernard Shaw, minded tyranny. ( In March 1933 Shaw was a co-signatory to a letter in The Manchester Guardian protesting at the continuing misrepresentation of Soviet achievements: “No lie is too fantastic, no slander is too stale … for employment by the more reckless elements of the British press.”)

Malcolm Muggeridge, was initially supportive of the Soviet regime. But then he went to Moscow as a correspondent for the Manchester Guardian and learned about the Ukrainian famine. The Guardian censored his reports. The left was divided by the atrocities of the Soviet Union into honest, moral people and those who turned a blind eye.

Is this a row between newspapers: the Guardian in need of the Mail to showcase what it is not; the Mail and right-wing Press, doing much the same? The difference is, though, that only one side supports censorship.

Posted: 26th, November 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment


Reported to Nutshell Laboratories: Frances Glessner Lee’s Incredible Dolls’ House Murder Scenes

 

There’s a TV series in the work of Frances Glessner Lee (1878–1962), whose hand-made dioramas of murder scenes were used to train US detectives to “convict the guilty, clear the innocent, and find the truth in a nutshell.” It might be tad slow, as Lee manufactures a crime scene – assisted by carpenter Ralph Moser, a typical study took the duo three months and cost $3,000 to $6,000 (equivalent to $40,000 to $80,000 today). (Moser built the structures of the rooms and most wooden elements, like tiny working doors, windows, and chairs. He constructed every piece to Lee’s strict specifications, so much so that Lee once rejected a rocking chair made by Moser because it did not rock the same number of times as the original) – but have you seen some of the bilge on TV?

Lee even wrote up reports as “Reported to Nutshell Laboratories”. It’s all there: the crime; the character; the will-they won’t they romance; the wit. Call me TV, I have ideas…

 

 

Much more on Flashbak

 

Posted: 25th, November 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Bulge like Michaelangelo’s David in these optical illusion pants

Stuck for a gift? Well, unstick yourself. These yoga pants and swimming trunks  shorts are a snip.

 

shorts michelangelo trunks david

 

 

 

Spoter: BB

Posted: 21st, November 2017 | In: Fashion, The Consumer | Comment


Paperchase must ban all Daily Mail suspects from its stores

Paperchase is “truly sorry” for speaking to Daily Mail readers, offering them two free rolls of wrapping paper in Saturday’s newspaper. Stop Funding Hate, the group that hates the Daily Mail and its pressie-wrapping readers, promising without irony to “tackle the culture of hate, demonisation and division that is poisoning our political discourse”, encouraged tweeters to complain, just as it did when Lego advertised in the Mail. Lego responded by vowing never again to advertise in the popular tabloid. One minute you’re a Danish-based company selling plastic figurines to children; the next you’re a force for moral good. Life moves pretty fast when your in the censor’s crosshairs.

Stop Funding Hate spotted the Paperchase promotion in the Mail and opined: “After a torrid few weeks of divisive stories about trans people, is a Daily Mail promotion what customers want to see from @FromPaperchase?” Paperchase, of course, laughed this off, arguing that pricey envelopes and novelty pens should be available to all people, even those who only send emails. No, of course not. It said: “We now know we were wrong to do this – we’re truly sorry and we won’t ever do it again. Thanks for telling us what you really think and we apologise if we have let you down on this one. Lesson learnt.”

With any luck, all ‘responsible’ advertisers will pull their ads and the Daily Mail will be much reduced, existing on a sponsorship of Nazi memorabilia, cricket bats and Downton Abbey merchandise before dying with their last reader’s final breath.

 

paperchase cards daily mail

‘For her’ – pink and flowers

 

paperchase cards daily mail

‘For him’ – the skies the limit and here’s to spoting success

 

Not far enough, of course. Paperchase, which as you can see from the images above, thinks nothing of supporting arcane gender stereotypes, disappointing we who look it for guidance on all manner of pressing issues (such as: when does Christmas shopping begin? when are 2018 diaries discounted?; is there life after death?) needs to do more. Sam White suggests: “Paperchase, not good enough. You should question people wishing to enter your stores as to whether they have ever handled or looked at a Daily Mail. Those who have can be refused entry, or possibly sent for re-education.”

And there’s a card for everything, even the Untermensch:

 

paperchase brexit

Paperchase – not fan of Brexit

 

When you see a card declaring ‘Intolerance will not be tolerated’, you know where to send it…

Posted: 21st, November 2017 | In: News, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment


Win Copies of The Celestial Archive Advent Calendar

 

Fancy something smart and beautiful this Christmas? We’re giving away two copies of the terrific Celestial Advent Calendar.

Conceived , compiled and designed by Stephen Ellcock and Hugh Hales-Tooke, the Celestial Archive Advent calendar follows the format of a traditional Advent calendar with 24 numbered doors, but the images are a celebration of the celestial rather than religious or other typical yuletide imagery.

WIN one of two copies by following our sister site Flashbak on twitter – using the hashtag #celestialadventcalendar.

The calendar features a selection of pre-space age images of the heavens by artists, illustrators, astronomers, scientists, mystics and visionaries, spanning several centuries and many cultures and iconographic traditions.

The windows in the cover open to reveal celestial images printed on translucent paper, which, held up to the light, produce something like a stained glass window effect.

Buy The Celestial Archive Advent Calendar HERE.

Or WIN one of two copies by following our sister site Flashbak on twitter – using the hashtag #celestialadventcalendar.

Posted: 20th, November 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Schools ban glitter to save the planet but the human virus lives on

To the Tops Day Nurseries, which all 19 branches have banned the 3,000 children they care for from using…glitter. Tops’ MD Cheryl Hadland says the glitter is harming the planet.

“We did a survey a few months ago and 86% of our parents want us to be eco-sustainable,” says Hadland. “I think a lot of our parents really want us to do this.”

Those are the parent who drop their children off at the daycare centre in cars, right? And do any of these children have siblings or pets? Are we not all the human virus? Shouldn’t we all be sterilized? Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn opined:

“Humans represent the most obscene, perverted, cruel, uncivilised and lethal species ever to inhabit the planet and [we look] forward to the day when the inevitable asteroid slams into the earth and wipes them out, thus giving nature the opportunity to start again”

Of course, this is just glitter. It’s not as if people are trying to ban skirts, playing, mum’s lunchcrayons, glue, marking, tackling, blazers, the school run, words and sausage rolls.

If children want an eco-friendly alternative to glitter, they can always try mixing snot with dandruff.

Posted: 18th, November 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


Barbie gets an hijab in accordance with ‘diversity’

barbie hijab

 

There’s to be a Barbie doll based on US Olympic fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad, who became the first women who wear an hijab at the Olympics. According to Mattel, Muhammad is a “Shero”, which is bit like being a hero but for women; like heroine, yes, but the kind of portmanteau that makes for better branding and makes women a special case. So much for equality.

Sejal Shah Miller, Barbie’s vice president of global marketing, guffs out a statement: “Ibtihaj is an inspiration to countless girls who never saw themselves represented, and by honoring her story, we hope this doll reminds them that they can be and do anything,” It’s less about her than it is about us, say Mattel.

And as for girls’ ambitions, well they can’t do anything. NBC says Muhammad got into fencing because her mother likes the cover-all kit. “My mom just so happened to discover fencing,” says Muhammad on CNN. “She was driving past a local high school and saw kids with what she thought was like a helmet and like long pants and long jacket. She was like, ‘I don’t know what it is, but I want you to try it.”

So you can do anything, so long as you cover up. And don’t do it in Iran,where as one toy seller opined: “I think every Barbie doll is more harmful than an American missile.”

Whatever the backstory, the athlete is delighted, saying being immortalised in plastic is a “childhood dream come true”:

 

 

Cynics might argue that Mattel needs to broaden its appeal, and what easier way than by tapping into a new market, albeit the relatively small one of female Muslim fencers. CNN Money notes: “Barbie has been working hard to make its collection of dolls more diverse in an effort to broaden the brand’s appeal… Barbie’s sales have slumped, down 6% in the most recent quarter compared to last year.”

 

 

More people as dolls here. Each one an inspiration…

 

Posted: 15th, November 2017 | In: News, Sports, The Consumer | Comment


The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump: Ode to 45

The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump

 

Donald Trump’s poetry is composite blend of Tweets, speeches and interviews  edited by Rob Sears, who notes the “little known alternative fact that the 45th President, Donald J. Trump, has long been a remarkable poet.”
The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump considers Trump “a modern-day Basho or Larkin” with smaller hands.

The greatest misapprehension about DJT corrected by this volume, however, may be the idea that he sees money and power as ends in themselves. In fact, just as Wilfred Owen turned his wartime experiences into poetry, and Slyvia Plath found the dark beauty in her own depression, Trump is able to transform his unique experiences of being a winner into 24-karat verse. He didn’t build a huge real-estate empire for the billions; he did it so he could write poems…

Highlights:

I won!

Well, we’ve had some disasters, but this is the worst

Bad hombres

I’ve known some bad dudes
I’ve been at parties
They want to do serious harm
I’ve seen and I’ve watched things like with guns
I know a lot of tough guys but they’re not smart
We’re dealing with people like animals

But they are the folks I like the best—by far!

I am the least racist person there is

I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks
I remained strong for Tiger Woods during his difficult
period
Oprah, I love Oprah. Oprah would always be my first choice
Kanye West—I love him
I think Eminem is fantastic, and most people think I
wouldn’t like Eminem
And did you know my name is in more black songs than any
other name in hip-hop?
You are the racist, not I

I respect women, I love women, I cherish women

Vagina is expensive
No more apologies—take the offensive!

Hot little girl in high school

I’m a very compassionate person (with a very high IQ)
Just think, in a couple of years I’ll be dating you
It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees
Come here, I’ll show how life works. Please.

We’ve got to stop the stupid

You know what uranium is, right?
It’s a thing called nuclear weapons and other things like lots
of things that are done with uranium including some bad
things
I have to explain this to these people, they don’t even understand basic
physics, basic mathematics, whatever you call it
I mean, they’re like stupid

Look at the way I’ve been treated lately

I should have been TIME Magazine’s Person of the Year
Just like I should have gotten the Emmy for The Apprentice
I should have easily won the Trump University case
I should have won New York state but I didn’t
I unfairly get audited by the I.R.S. almost every
single year
No politician in history—and I say this with great surety—
has been treated worse or more unfairly

Spotter: The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump , Dangerous Minds

Posted: 13th, November 2017 | In: Books, Politicians | Comment


This Heinz Stranger Things ketchup bottle top is brilliant

heinz stranger things ketchup

 

Spotter: Adam The Creator

Posted: 9th, November 2017 | In: The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment


What happens when you tap on a shark screen that say ‘don’t tap on the shark screen’

 

Sharks get a tough run with humanity, whether it being fins made into soup, teeth worn as necklaces or the cultural approbation / plasticface that saw the biggest shark role in Hollywood history played by a machine. At the International Spy Museum in Washington D.C., visitors are advised against tapping on the glass. This is, of course, an invitation to tap on the glass, which one shark feast-sized human did:

The Huffington Post:

The display is part of a museum exhibit called “Earth Redesigned.” The show includes the vision of fictional character Karl Stromberg of the James Bond book and film “The Spy Who Loved Me,” and his ideas about a post-apocalyptic war world beneath the sea.

“What would Stromberg’s world be like?” the museum asks on the display’s webpage. “Find out as you experience the residents in our virtual shark tank … but be careful — you never know when one might attack!”

Wait for it…

Posted: 28th, October 2017 | In: News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment