Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 2

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Neal Cassady Shall Be Justified: Read The Joan Anderson Letter That Inspired Jack Kerouac’s On The Road

PA 3315334 Neal Cassady Shall Be Justified: Read The Joan Anderson Letter That Inspired Jack Kerouacs On The Road

 

In 1950 Neal Cassady chocked down mouthfuls of speed and wrote a 16,000 words, 18-page letter to hgis friend Jack Kerouac. In it he recalled a trip to Denver and a dalliance with a Joan Anderson. Kerouac was writing On The Road.  After reading Cassady’s letter he began it anew.

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Posted: 24th, November 2014 | In: Books, News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jesus Wept! The Christmas Jumper That Bleeds For Your Fashion Sins

jesus front 1024x1024 Jesus Wept! The Christmas Jumper That Bleeds For Your Fashion Sins

 

Who hasn’t looked at a Christmas jumper and declared ‘Jesus’?

Shredders are selling this fine seasonal sweater designed by Steve Byrne.

jesus back 1024x1024 Jesus Wept! The Christmas Jumper That Bleeds For Your Fashion Sins

 

Spotter

 

 

 

Posted: 23rd, November 2014 | In: Fashion | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Buy This Wonderful Raiders Of The Lost Ark Face Melting Candle

Nazi face candle Buy This Wonderful Raiders Of The Lost Ark Face Melting Candle

Here’s a noveltt item to reallt set the pulses racing: a Raiders of The Lost Ark candle. It’s modelled on Major Arnold Toht, the Nazi whose face melts when the magic chest is opened.

Firebox says:

 “Thankfully it melts a lot slower than his face does in the film.”

Nazi face candle 1 Buy This Wonderful Raiders Of The Lost Ark Face Melting Candle

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Posted: 21st, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The ‘Guardian Class’ Want Video Games Rated For Sexism

violent video games The Guardian Class Want Video Games Rated For Sexism
In light of “Gamergate”, Sweden’s “government-funded innovation agency” Vinnova are looking at rating video games by their “sexist” content.
The Local catches up with one Vinnova “manager” who “said it was unclear at this stage if all video games produced in Sweden would be given a label, or if companies developing games that promoted equality would be given some kind of certification to use for their own marketing purposes… Video games can help us to create more diverse workplaces and can even change the way we think about things.”
Job done. We think you’re an idiot who treats people who play video games as fools. These people who play video games will not grow up believing all women are sexually available 2D bimbos. Just as the elite tell us that football fans’ speech must be controlled lest they race riot, gamers do not need re-educating.
Every aspect of our lives is being politicised. Unwinding with a video game is now a moral issue. Escapism is not allowed. Where once the fearful right condemend video nasties, acid house and comic books, the authoritarian left is now commanding:

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Posted: 20th, November 2014 | In: News, Technology, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Real Barbie Dolls Comes With Spots, Stretch Marks And Issues

Want to see the real Barbie doll? Nickolay Lamm wants to show us what a real woman as a plastic doll would look like. His Lammily doll has impetigo, a mole, wounds, bruises and – unlike Mr Stretch Armstrong – stretch marks.

 

 

stretcharmstrong Real Barbie Dolls Comes With Spots, Stretch Marks And Issues

 

 

Who knew that a real person wasn’t like a doll?

Kids, eh, so stupid they think all adults look like Barbie. If you let them drive real cars they’d just sit ther going “Brrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmm”. And never – NEVER – leave your child alone with a full gown grizzly bear.

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Posted: 20th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Elly Prizeman Is British Fashion’s Newest Star

 

ELLY Prizeman is the most talked about shirt designer on this planet (and whatever planet they’re on).

Her stellar range of shirts is out of this world (as modelled by Matt Taylor).

As another notable shirt designer, Vivienne Westwood, put it:

You have a more interesting life if you wear impressive clothes.

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Posted: 19th, November 2014 | In: Fashion, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sexist Barbie Says ‘I Can Be…A Computer Engineeer’ – But Only If The Boys Do All The Work

WHAT can Babie be? Well, if you melt her down, she could be doorstop, a martial aid part of South Korean car’s dashboard.  But to Martel, Babrie can be anything.

Barbie Can Be…A Computer Engineeer.

Live the dream, Barbie! And dig those glasses. You sure must have smarts to wear bins like those.

 

Barbie I Can Be Sexist Barbie Says I  Can Be...A Computer Engineeer   But Only If The Boys Do All The Work

 

 

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Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: Books, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


John Waters Reads: My Singing Anus And Carsick Parodies

PA 5887652 John Waters Reads: My Singing Anus And Carsick Parodies

 

John Waters hitchhiked his way across the USA. He’s written it up in Carsick.

“I have probably 8,500 books all catalogued and everything. I’m a book collector. The novelizations of movies which no one collects? I collect them. I also collect porn parodies of literature. So yes, I collect all kinds of books.”

The first two chapters of his book are fictional. He wonders what thrills await him, such as giving head during a demolition derby and being murdered by a serial killer with a thing for film directors.

“Some people skip [the introduction] and they don’t realize the first two parts are fiction. They say, ‘Did that really happen?’ Do you really believe my singing anus did a duet with Connie Francis?”

Save it for the movie…

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


FAIL: London Estate Agent Strutt And Parker Creates Truly Terrible Ad

To London, where Tom Doran @portraitinflesh spots this hideous advert from esate agency Strutt And Parker:

DEAR GOD. Is this a current advert? How on Earth could @struttandparker sign off on this?

Answer: because they’re estate agents.

Screen shot 2014 11 18 at 13.33.50 FAIL: London Estate Agent Strutt And Parker Creates Truly Terrible Ad

Via: @OscarWGrut

 

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nurtured Sea Salt In A Thing That Exists

YOU can raise salt in an captive environment:

Screen shot 2014 11 18 at 13.14.24 Nurtured Sea Salt In A Thing That Exists

 

 

Spotter: Anna Dingley @annadingley

 

 

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


This 1912 Brothel Menu Is For Men With Cash And Goose Quills

brothel menu This 1912 Brothel Menu Is For Men With Cash And Goose Quills

This is a brothel menu from Mrs. F.A. Tasse‘s house of good repute. In 1912, the customer could purchase sex:

No discount for cash. Stink fingers and jerking-off matinees for young men under 21, every Wednesday from 2:30 to 4. Customers must enter with cash in one hand and tool in the other. If you are not a self-starter, stay at home and jack yourself off.

Goose quill: model’s own.

PS: Jezebel says the brother was in London. Well, no. It wasn’t. Not unless Mrs. F.A. Tasse. (surely FAT ARSE – ed) was appealing to a uniquely American clientele with her prices and spelling.

Spotter: Amanda Marcotte, Flashbak

 

Posted: 15th, November 2014 | In: NSFW, The Consumer | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dr Who Specials: The Weeping Angel Christmas Tree Topper And Toilet Aimer

weeping jesus Dr Who Specials: The Weeping Angel Christmas Tree Topper And Toilet Aimer

DECORATE your Christmas Tree with a weeping angel, as seen on Dr Who.

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Posted: 15th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Metro Creates The List That Ends All Lists: It Is That Bad

Screen shot 2014 11 14 at 10.53.21 The Metro Creates The List That Ends All Lists: It Is That Bad

 

MODERN journalism is much about lists. You make a list and it is news. Things kicked off in 1977, when millions of people (my father mong them) The Book of Lists, compiled by David Wallechinsky, his father Irving Wallace and sister Amy Wallace.

 

 

BookOfLists The Metro Creates The List That Ends All Lists: It Is That Bad

 

It was a cracking book, a top toilet read. It was a valuable resource when I wrote the quiz questions for the TV show Jeopardy (What is the impossible job?).

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Posted: 14th, November 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Wrist-Slitting Photo Hidden Inside Child’s Toy

Screen shot 2014 11 13 at 12.05.22 Wrist Slitting Photo Hidden Inside Childs Toy

Tinkerbell

OTHER Parents presents the loving mum who bought her 2-year-old daughter an Evil Stick.  She thought the EVIL STICK wouild contain a picture of a fairy or some other ‘normal’ figure. Instead, as she tells us:

It looks like a magic fairy princess wand but when you push the button it laughs manically and a light flashes behind the foil star top, revealing a picture of a demonic woman cutting herself with a knife.

 


And she’s no fairy. We’ve checked…

Posted: 13th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Wearable Futon Is A Thing Of Wonder

wearable futon 1 The Wearable Futon Is A Thing Of Wonder

 

FINALLY, the wearable Futon. Alistair Gentry reviews:

Japanese office supply company King Jim offer this lovely wearable futon and air mat set for a mere ¥4,500 (about £25, €30 or $40), because Japan. It’s ideal for those times when you’ve come to hold your own life and dignity so cheap that you’re willing to voluntarily wear a futon at your workplace and sleep next to your desk like a dog. The title in the blue box says “kiru futon & eaamatto” (literally “wear futon and air mat”). The kit also contains an air pump. I once slept on a legit air bed for far longer than is sensible and it nearly crippled me, so I’m guessing this glorified packing material is hardly better than the office utility carpet from which the air mat is supposed to protect you.

Stylish cuffs, no? It’s nearly as hip as turning up selvedge jeans, except you’re wearing a futon therefore you have gone beyond being trendy and you have lost your damn mind. I like the model’s expression in the picture above. He’s like “Dafuq? Is this really happening?” Maybe that’s why he looks dead in pic 1. He completely lost the will to live in the course of this photoshoot, laid down on the air mat in his wearable futon and gave up the ghost.

 

wearable futon The Wearable Futon Is A Thing Of Wonder

Posted: 11th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Terrify Your Loved Ones With A Personalised Chopping Board

Screen shot 2014 11 08 at 16.31.12 Terrify Your Loved Ones With A Personalised Chopping Board

 

 @francescamain has a question:

What kind of person gets a photo of their child’s face made into a chopping board?

It turns out that lots of people do:

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Posted: 8th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Someone’s recut the new John Lewis advert as a horror movie, and it’s brilliant

Someone’s recut the new John Lewis advert as a horror movie, and it’s bloody brilliant:

 

Posted: 6th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Artist Turns Heavy Metal T-Shirts Into Hadnmade Quilts

IN San Francisco, artist Ben Venom recycles heavy metal t-shirts into handmade quilts.

Metal fans hould enjoy looking for familiar looking swatches:

heavy metal quilts 8 Artist Turns Heavy Metal T Shirts Into Hadnmade Quilts heavy metal quilts 7 Artist Turns Heavy Metal T Shirts Into Hadnmade Quilts

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Posted: 6th, November 2014 | In: Fashion, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Shit Express: Service Lets You Post Your Enemy A Pile Of Steaming Turds

shit express 1 Shit Express: Service Lets You Post Your Enemy A Pile Of Steaming Turds

WORRIED about how to epxress you displeasure? Worried about being called a troll for stating your heartfelt opinion? Well, Shit Express will send a heap of poo to  enemies, or friends (if they’re into it).

Shit Expressexplains:

1. Choose an animal.
2. Give us an address.
3. Choose how to wrap your package.
4. Pay anonymously with Bitcoin.

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Posted: 5th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Serious Writers Reveal Their Lowlife Reading Habits

bad comics 21 Serious Writers Reveal Their Lowlife Reading Habits

HIGH minds in low places. Amber Sparks interviewed writers about their influences:

“I aspire to write ‘great books,’ but great books are not at all what made me want to write,” says Mike Meginnis, author of Fat Man and Little Boy. “Some of my most formative early reading experiences were apocalyptic Christian YA fiction from my church’s lending library.” It seems ridiculous, on the face of it, that writers could learn their craft at the doorstep of writing or culture that might appear inartful, inelegant, or lack complexity. And yet it makes perfect sense. These books are popular not because of their sentences, but because of their storytelling. And isn’t that the first thing every writer has to learn, regardless of medium or genre? …

I discovered, as I talked to lots of writers, that the vocabulary of the lowbrow almost universally reflects a kind of throwaway culture: garbage, disposable, trash. Yet it’s clear many of us have never tossed out these first and primary influences—they are anything but disposable when we look back at where it all began. Whether we writers actively avoided, sought out, or just plain knew nothing else, it seems what we consumed of the lowbrow world of literature, television, films, video games, and other pop culture has had significant influence on an awful lot of us. When we were young, many of us sought pleasure in the simplest kinds of stories, wherever we found them.

Trash, you say..?

Posted: 4th, November 2014 | In: Books | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Russell Brand’s Revolution: Using Rape And Hitler’s Publisher To Spark The ‘Divine’

PA 5081495 Russell Brands Revolution: Using Rape And Hitlers Publisher To Spark The Divine

 

RUSSELL Brand, age 39, has written Revolution, a book dedicated ‘To the divine, mischievous spark in you”.

Craig Brown reviews in the Mail:

‘Russell Brand wants YOU to join the Revolution’ is the pithy way his publishers, Century, put it.  Oddly enough, Century is a part of Penguin Random House, itself a division of the German media conglomerate Bertelsmann and Pearson PLC, the largest education company and book publisher in the world, and owners of the Financial Times

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Posted: 26th, October 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0