The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
JIMMY Savile is the subejct of Dan Davies’s book Plain Sight: The Life and Lies of Jimmy Savile. The man known in his lifetime as Sir Jimmy has now buried in muck and filth. Savile never was arrested, charged nor tried in his lifetime. He is the alleged paedophile and rapist who operated on the BBC and NHS’s watch.
Rachel Cooke writes:
As I read Davies’s book, the term “light entertainment” suddenly struck me as the greatest joke. What a misnomer. It wasn’t light at all. It was dark and heavy: clodhopping at best, sinister at worst. All the programmes I enjoyed most as a child came with heavy doses of innuendo, low-level violence, sadomasochism. There was Dick Emery, who dressed up as a sexually frustrated spinster – at the time I didn’t know what frottage was, except I sort of did, thanks to her – and as a toothy vicar whose pious exterior made for a sharp contrast with his visits to “naughty” strip clubs. (Davies, I notice, has a picture of this vicar on his Twitter account.) There were the two Ronnies, Barker and Corbett, whose show included peculiar serials such as “The Worm That Turned”, a dystopian fiction starring Diana Dors, in which women ruled the world (mostly in hot pants and jackboots) and men wore women’s clothes and kept house, and “Band of Slaves”, in which an all-girl orchestra was sold into slavery. Rod Hull and his puppet Emu performed a tango of aggression so convincing, you couldn’t help but rub your upper arms as you watched, imagining the bruises on those of their victims. Benny Hill was forbidden in our house – he was on ITV – but I knew the shtick. He chased girls. Round and round and round. (Hill, incidentally, made a shrine of his dead mother’s clothes, just as Savile did with those of his beloved “Duchess”.) Somehow, Ben Elton’s controversial attack on Hill – the comedian’s routine, he suggested, incited rape and other acts of violence against women – doesn’t seem quite so over-the-top now as when he made it in 1987.
HARD cheese for those of you like smelling your own farts? But good news for eveyrone around you. The toilet-seat with an in-built fan is here. CNet has more:
We are in a golden age for toilet technology. Recent years have given us highly entertaining innovations like toilet landing lights, home toilet wave-to-flush kits, and Bluetooth-equipped toilets that can be flushed using an app. There is no stopping the forward progress of toilet tech, as evidenced by Fresh Air Plus, a newcomer to the lavatory scene.
Fresh Air Plus is a Kickstarter project that replaces your old, lifeless toilet seat with a seat that has a built-in exhaust fan designed to capture and safely vent unwelcome odors outside your house. The Kickstarter promotional video describes the issue as “stinky, gross, and sometimes socially awkward.” The seat has a sensor that detects when someone is sitting down. This triggers the fan to turn on.
The seat also has an anti-slam lid that closes softly. The best part of all is a series of purplish and red blinking star lights on the side that let you and any visitors know that this isn’t your momma’s toilet seat, it’s a high-tech beast of a bathroom machine.
The installation process involves removing your old seat, attaching the Fresh Air Plus in its place, plugging the seat into a wall socket, and then connecting a hose to an exhaust vent running outside. The biggest issue here is that you probably don’t already have a small round vent in your wall, so you’ll have to get handy and put one in or hire somebody to come do it. It gets a little trickier if your bathroom doesn’t have an outside-facing wall. This situation requires running the hose through the wall to connect up with the ventilation pipe used by your bathroom ceiling fan.
PSST! want to buy a detached fmaily home on Britannia Road, Ipswich?
It’s had one careful owner, as the advert posted at Rightmove by estate agent Connells, shows:
SO the Daily Mail tells us: we’re total and complete grossouts when we eat a barbecue. We eat far more at one than we do at a normal meal. All of which is terribly interesting but it is rather missing the point about a barbecue isn’t it? That they’re supposed to be the times when we pig out? It’s a bit like saying that we have more calories at dinner than we do with a lunchtime sandwich: that’s the bloody point!
It may not come as a surprise that a diet of sausages and ribs could leave you, well, a little porky.
But you probably didn’t realise that we eat up to three times more at a barbecue than in a normal meal.
ZARA is selling a “striped ‘sheriff’ T-shirt” for junior police.
The voodoo doll-style posts are £4,500.00 a totem; but the poo trays are just £3.00.
Look on as your sweeti pie-foo-foo rips out Putin’s eyes and craps on Kim Jong Un, Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and Egypt’s President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi.
From the very heart of the Internet we raise our banner with #ThePussycatRiot: a new protest movement to unite the cats of the world and their owners in opposition to cyber censorship. We aim to raise awareness of the oppressive regime Preventing people from freely enjoying the boundless wealth of mankind’s innovation and creativity … And cat videos. [...]
[The Putin- and Kim Jong Un Cat Scratching Posts are] one-of-a-kind product protest and the ultimate feline satirical statement. An incredibly lifelike cat scratching post Modelled on Kim Jong-un and Putin for your censorship-hating cat to scratch.
Spotter: The Pussycat Riot website, DM
KATE MOSS’S has had a champagne glass modelled on her left breast. Quaffers at Mayfair’s 34 can purse their lips to the rim of one of British artist Jane McAdam Freud’s cups.
This honour was once extended to another sparkling white woman, the fabled Marie Antoinette.
YOU love bread and butter. But the butter is rock hard. You can’t wait for it to soften so you stick a shard of it on your doughy white sliced and spread. But it just tears holes in the bread. It’s a disaster. The word is ready for the butter grater.
The Stupendous Splendiferous Butterup is yours for US$16.”
TIME to pick up your iPads and iPods once again, kids, Loom bands are deadly. The Daily Mail tells us that Looms are killing you all:
On August 13: Loom Bands Give You Cancer:
On August 6 Lorraine Candy wailed tht loom bands are “worse than the addictive computer game Minecraft that absorbed them last year”…
Worse than killer computer games! Yes. Beceu loom band wiull kill Gaia.
August 4: Ticking Loom bands are an ‘eco time bomb”:
Paul, director of conservation at the National Marine Aquarium in Plymouth, said: ‘Loom bands, like any plastic item, are capable of persisting in the environment for many, many years and there is abundant evidence of small plastic items making their way into the diets of marine animals and seabirds with tragic consequences. ‘I’d be particularly worried about loom bands being taken to the beach as, due to the likelihood of them getting into the sea.’
On July 11, children were being maimed:
What to do? The Mail knows. It’s gong to give them away:
The Daily Mail wants to maim your kids, kill turtles and give you cancer.
THIS is a great video of Nobumichi Asai‘s projection mapping of “electronic makeup” applied to a model’s face.
Asai used Omote, a combination of real-time face tracking and projection mapping to transform a model’s face into mesmerizing patterns.
via Gizmodo and h/t Alice Lowe
LUCKY Charleigh Matice found a Swastika in her McDonald’s chicken sandwich, bought at a brand in Morehead City, North Carolina.
Eat yer heart out, Hamburglar. This is the surprise gift that will get the kids flocking to the store.
But Charleigh was upset by the free extra. She says her grandfather fought for the Allies World War II. It’s not what he would have wanted.
McDonald’s is swift to punish:
“We are very sorry for the service that our customers received, and to be clear we have terminated the employee who was involved. We do not tolerate that kind of behavior at McDonald’s, and it’s not what we stand for personally as owners. It is about providing the best level of service and care to our customers, and anything less than that is unacceptable to us.”
CELEBRATE every moment in your waking life with a Coloring For Grown-Ups artwork.
TODAY, the world’s press heard about Britney Spears launching a new lingerie line, which just so happens to be called The Intimate Collection.
She announced this by posting a picture of her herself wearing the new range on Instagram. And she looked perfectly lovely in it.
Britter’s range will hit the shelves Stateside on September 9th and Europeans will either have to learn how to use the internet to buy things from abroad, or wait a few days and buy in European shops on September 26th.
That’s not the story though. It got us thinking about band merchandise – not everyone can be classy enough to release a range of tasteful undercrackers.
Most bands don’t veer too far away from t-shirts and mugs, but some go a bit mental. Tenacious D had a specially designated cum-rag fercryinoutloud.
So with that, shall we have a look at some of the weirdest (and therefore best) bits of band merch ever? Feel free to add you own in the comments.
Rammstein Dildo Box
Rammstein released a box-set with a load of dildos in it and, of course, they decided to base the sex toys on their own junk. That’s nice isn’t it?
Prodigy Toilet Cover Seat
THERE’S no two-ways about it – comics have been a bit white, male and hetero. Of course, that isn’t entirely the case, but chances are, your favourite superhero is a straight white guy.
However, everything is turning on its head. Iron Man is getting a new silver suit for a kick off. Okay, that’s not interesting. How about this – Thor is now a woman. It isn’t Thorette or Thorita. Thor is now a woman. About time there was another female leading role in comicsville.
And now, Captain America is red, white and blue… and black.
Marvel announced that Captain America’s mantle will be taken over by his long-time pal, the Falcon, the soaring superdude from Harlem (who is normally called Sam Wilson).
NO, that’s not Donatella Versace. That’s a dead armadillo handbag up for auction on eBay. If you can break your piggy bank (made from a real pig!) $299 ono.
Spotter: Boing Boing
HOLY JIHAD, Batman! The ISIS trolls have recuite Hello Kitty to their ranks.
Life Mirrors Seinfeld: Alfredo Barsuglia’s Forbidden Swimming Pool Is Somewhere In The Mojave Desert
LOOKING to cool your heels on Route 66? Well, if you can find Alfredo Barsuglia’s swimming pool. It’s somewhere in the Mojave desert.
And it’s clean. The 11 x 5ft pool is fitted with a solar-powered filter and chlorination system.
You need to pick up the keys at LA’s MAK Center for Art and Architecture, where you’ll also bne given the GPS coordinates to help you find the thing. You have just 24 hours to find the pool and return the key.
GWAR, the greatest band in the whole universe, have had a rough time of it, with key members of the group shrugging off their mortal coil to join the choir invisible.
However, things must continue and they’ve had a truly magnificent idea – GWAR BAR!
Gwar are looking for $50,000 through their Indiegogo page to open their own “gourmet junk food’ restaurant, which will be called, tremendously, ‘Gwar-B-Q’.
And the fun doesn’t end there, as this video will show.
The band promise that their establishment will “change the dining experience in much the same way that Gwar changed the concert-going experience (well, maybe, without quite as much mess).”
AFTER the mind-melting success of the Harry Potter books, JK Rowling is able to do as she pleases. She’s clearly still got a huge love for writing and, as we know, she’s got balls bigger than Godzilla.
So, in her next novel, she’s decided to have a go at those responsible for phone-hacking.
Rowling’s second crime thriller (which is written under her pseudonym Robert Galbraith) will use her own experiences under oath at the Leveson Inquiry after she suffered at the hands of press intrusion.
TO Tokyo, where locals can buy used booze at Liquor Off. It’s not quite reselling the dregs or distilling the contents of the urinal rivers that run through the city’s bars. This is a chance for people who exchange any booze they have around the place for cash.
THE Toff, or to give him his proper name, the Honourable Richard Rollison, was the creation of the novelist John Creasey and first appeared in the tuppenny weekly crime magazine in 1933. The first novel ‘Introducing the Toff’ appeared in 1938. There were eventually fifty-seven books in the series the last of which, ‘The Toff and the Dead Man’s Finger’ wasn’t published until five years after the author died in 1973.
Fifty-seven novels is a lot of writing (Creasey occasionally published six Toffs in just one year) but actually it was just a fraction of Creasey’s output who, according to his publisher, is the 6th or 7th most prolific writer of all time.