The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
SANTA has been on a diet. He can now slip into his Santa Claus Spandex. bodysuit. And so can you budding Santas. Pop along to Rubie’s Costume Company and buy you stretchy Santa all-in-one sock. Spot the sack…
Spotter: Laughing Squid
WHEN Peter Clatworthy saw a photo of anXBox One console on eBay, he wanted it. He handed over £450 plug £8 packaging. The 19-year-old student, of Bilborough, Nottingham, wanted the device for his four-year-old son, McKenzie. But he got exactly what he clicked on: a picture of an XBox One.
LETTES of Note: The woman who still can’t make a decent rum baba:
ASK not what Nelson Mandela did for humanity but what Nelson Mandela can do to promote your brand:
My Little Pony Fan Fiction salutes one of its own:
— Canterlot RadiHoHoHo (@CanterlotRadio) December 6, 2013
IN 2005, former South African President Nelson Mandela starred in the Madiba Legacy Series comic books – a nine-part comic book series based on Nelson Mandela’s life freely distributed in schools and newspapers. It was created by the Nelson Mandela Foundation.
ON the Sunday morning of 21 September 1969, a slightly-built Chief Inspector convinced some hippies inside a squat at a large five storey mansion at 144 Piccadilly to lower an improvised wooden drawbridge so doctors could help a seriously ill person inside. The drawbridge came down and Chief Inspector Michael Rowling flung himself bravely across the barricaded opening to establish a bridgehead. Suddenly a police sergeant blew his whistle and shouted “Come on lads – let’s go in!” and a hundred policemen, seemingly from nowhere, charged over the bridge and through the front door.
THIS is a nice little piece of research showing the variation in price of the iPhone all over the world. You can set it to tell you the absolute price in any country and see the impact of taxes etc on an iPhone 5s. Or you can mix and match it with how rich the country is and so see what percentage of the average salary it is.
“POOR font choices … a continuing saga,” tweets Susan Cloud@ProducerSusan.
THE FriXion Revolution is here! Never again will BBC DJs and rock stars need to actually touch their fans and run the risk of an underage furore. With FriXion, you can rub and grope through your computer.
On the next generation haptic social network innovative and affordable haptic peripherals empower FriXion users to come together and touch each other in tangible, stimulating ways; from holding hands and kissing up to and including full penetrative sex whether your partner is across the room or across an ocean.
SANTA is a busy man. First off, he has to get a load of occasional staff for the grotto, just like the Post Office do. He’s probably working them harder than Amazon too, but he’s got a sleigh that is propelled by flying elk, so he can do as he damn well pleases.
Let’s be honest here – Father Christmas is the Kanye of Yule. He’s bigger than Jesus and he knows it. He gets all the thanks and people leave him sherry and treats. What does Jesus get? Piss all.
NORWICH night owls are being invited to blow hard as they enter 30 of the city’s clubs. Norfolk police have issued the venues with breathalysers to help revellers gain “better knowledge” of their drinking.
So in touch are the police that the practise of testing free people for legal substances carries a hashtag. Venues testing patrons for booze boast the sign “Are you trollied? #DeepBreath”. These venues should be avoided. They are a kite mark for twattishness.
It’s the kind of patronising balls the tea-total police engage in. Adults are reduced to the role of lab rats being tested on a night out. Police say “clubs will be expected to be responsible”. Because it’s responsible for a stranger – a bouncer, for gawd’s sake – to approach a woman and tell her to blow into his device.
BEFORE launching into the typical “Oh, aren’t those Seventies fashions so terrible” spiel, let’s get one thing out of the way: 70s’ fashions are an easy target because they took chances. Whenever you are bold you run the risk of becoming the butt of jokes. Today’s styles seem to abide by the “best not to make waves” approach – unlikely to cause much ridicule in future decades, but also fatally milquetoast. Not so the 1970s.
Attribute it to millions of emboldened Boomers coming of age or a staggering amount of recreational drug use. Either way the case is the same: 1970s fashions inspire equal parts awe and terror for denizens of the 21st century. Let’s take a look at the top five instances where this inspiring boldness went terribly, terribly wrong.
CHEESE Whiz – aka Cheese Billy Whizz – was once sold as the product that gave your day a kick in the nervous system.
Cheese Whiz is , of course, utterly revolting, more reminiscent of the secretions that ooze form a cow’s nose than the udders. But maybe it can be disguise even more horrible food?
From the Urban Dictionary:
1. Artificial cheese. One chemical away from being seran wrap.
2. Lethal spray cheese it can kill a person if used wrongly.
3. BAAAAAH i looooove ma cheez whizz!!!!! i no i waaaaaaaaaaant it!”cheez whiz, you know you want it!”
4. (a) Essence of pure cheezy goodness; (b) Common anal lubrication; (c) Cause of human suffering (i.e., sexually transmitted diseases).
5.the greatest person the world has ever seen. As in “i like cheese”; “i love cheez wiz, hes the greatest person ever”
It’s 1958, and cheese whiz goes with anything but, oddly, nothing really goes with cheese whizz:
James Lileks links cheese military muscle:
I’ve never understood why nations with great cheese don’t have better armies.
If the USA gets cheese will it become more – gulp! – French?
Did you ever attempt the Seacoast Casserole from the 1960s? Fishermen in peril would smear it on their heads and to attract rescuers.
Looks like Mustard!
This little guy never did need a high-vis jacket:
In 1986, it was hot.
The cheese-gunk was invented by Edwin Traisman, a food scientist from Wisconsin. He also managed to stanadardize McDonald’s French fries. Lisa McComb, a spokeswoman for McDonald’s, said of Mr. Traisman: “He truly made a significant contribution to McDonald’s fries.”
* While he was at Kraft, from 1949 to 1957, Mr. Traisman led the team that combined cheese, emulsifiers and other ingredients into the bright yellow sauce called Cheez Whiz, a topping for corn chips, cheese steaks and hot dogs. It was introduced in 1953.
WHEY, CANOLA OIL, MILK, MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, MALTODEXTRIN , SODIUM PHOSPHATE, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, SALT, LACTIC ACID, SODIUM ALGINATE, MUSTARD FLOUR, WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE (VINEGAR, MOLASSES, CORN SYRUP, WATER, SALT, CARAMEL COLOR, GARLIC POWDER, SUGAR, SPICES, TAMARIND, NATURAL FLAVOR), SORBIC ACID AS A PRESERVATIVE, MILKFAT, CHEESE CULTURE, OLEORESIN PAPRIKA (COLOR), ANNATTO (COLOR), NATURAL FLAVOR, ENZYMES.
Other uses for Cheese Whizz.
Fancy making your own? Sandy Szwarc says Cheese Whizz is all healthy. And this is how you make it:
Bring glyceryl esters of fatty acids to room temperature to increase their plasticity, then beat with sucrose to entrap air particles in the mix. Beat phosphatidylethanolamine into the matrix which is now a foam emulsion with droplets of glyceryl esters of fatty acids and dispersed air. Add amylopectin and amylose, the protein gluten, and sodium bicarbonate. Crosslinking occurs between disulphide bonds in the gluten, creating a rubbery texture, with air trapped in the mix. Heat the mix so that the air and dihydrogen monoxide particles expand making the foam rise, coagulate the ovalbumin and stiffen the lining of the cells. Amylopectin and amylose undergo gelatinisation which further stiffens the mix. The foam expands and becomes a solid gel with a light porous texture.
Just like mama used to make…
SAMSUNG’S Women Of Steel contest rewards female superhoes with a kitchen.
“We’ve found some of the most magnificent women out there. Women whose superhuman strengths make them inspirational role models, and whose quick speed and heightened tastes make entertaining look easy.”
Say feminist researchers Fi Mayle U. Nuch: “Is it stainless steel? If it’s not, we’ll wait for the Women of Formica contest.”
YOU may think this trivial, but there’s worrying times ahead for humankind as a judge as valued human suffering over Sriracha – the most wonderful hot sauce in the universe. If you’ve never tasted the sauce, you’re living half a life. To those who have, they put it on everything – meat, chips, toothbrushes, cereal. The little bottle, with that comforting rooster on the front… everything is better with a gallon of hot sauce.
Well, some judge has ordered that the company that makes Sriracha hot sauce has to shut down because local residents reckon the plant that makes it has produced fumes that burned their eyes and throats.
Of course, if they’d been gorging on this sauce in the first place, they’d learn to love the feeling of burning throats and eyes. The stupid great idiots.
FANCY a table at Gilbert and Thierry Costes’ Le Georges eatery in the Pompidou Centre, Pairs? Well, if you , try not to be unattractive. Le Canard Enchaine alleges that a seating policy based on looks exists.
A former hostess of the Costes group restaurant, located at the National Museum of Modern Art, says Gilbert Costes operated a seating policy: “beautiful diners at the front of the restaurant and ugly at the back”.
The only ugly people allowed to sit in the windows were celebrities.
You know who you are.
The Finger Cleaner:
IT’S obvious that the God of Situational Irony hates America’s Transportation Security Administration almost as much as I do: in late October, only a few days before a TSAgent was gunned down at Los Angeles airport (then died a couple minutes later, after typically heroic cops from the LAPD refused to let medical personnel treat him), an engineer and anti-TSA blogger named Jonathan Corbett received some improperly redacted TSA documents proving that the TSA knows the truth of what its critics have said all along: the agency’s molesty groping policies and porny body-scan photos are completely useless where airline security is concerned, and TSA knows that airplane cockpit doors (strengthened in response to 9/11, since the hijackers were able to force their way in) mean any future hijacking attempts would likely fail anyway.
WWII Europe British Isles Rations Clothing:
This is a list of men’s and women’s wearing apparel subject to rationing under Great BritainÂ’ clothes rationing program shown in London on Jan. 29, 1942. The numbers at the right indicate the number of coupons required when the corresponding article is purchased. For example, 16 coupons are needed to buy a man’s raincoat or overcoat.
MISTY Misty Moser from Gladstone, Oregon, says she fond a snake’s head in her bag of green beans. Free protein! Moser says she thought it was ball of beans: “But it started to unfold. It was in a little ball. I noticed it had a mouth, nostrils, and little tiny eyes. Not what I thought I was buying.”
Indeed. Consider it a free bonus gift.