Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 24

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Essex garden centre sells out of weed

weed sales Essex garden centre sells out of weed

ESSEX-based plant shop Gardeningexpress.co.uk selling dandelion plants at £3.99 and stinging nettles for £7.99. If you have any spare, let them know. Stocks are low. A statement on the company’s website reads: 

“After many demands from customers, we’ve now added this selection of wild flowers to our range, some call them weeds, but we don’t want to hurt their feelings – after all a weed is only a plant in the wrong place, much like finding a tulip in a salad.”

It adds that these plants were “all the rage” at this year’s Chelsea Flower show.

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Posted: 24th, August 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lion starts barking in Chinese zoo

THE Chinese are known for their duplicates. Even the nation’s zoos are trying the same tactic:

A Chinese zoo’s supposed “African lion” was exposed as a fraud when the dog used as a substitute started barking.

Come see the barking cat!

Posted: 17th, August 2013 | In: Money, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Brompton Road Tube Station: photos of the secret bunker in the smart part of London

FOR Sale: The Brompton Road tube station, a disused station on the Piccadilly line between South Kensington and Knightsbridge which is owned by the Ministry of Defence. Opened in 1906, the station closed 30 years later. Why? Too few passengers, so they said. When war broke out, the station was taken over by the 1st Anti-Aircraft Division. They say this bunker was where Rudolf Hess, Adolf Hitler’s deputy in the Nazi Party, was brought to be interrogated after being captured in Scotland in 1941.

It would make a terrific torture chamber; or storage room for a wealthy local woman’s handbags.

17254443 Brompton Road Tube Station: photos of the secret bunker in the smart part of London

Ministry of Defence property surveyor Julian Chafer, ascends the spiral stairwell in the former Brompton Road tube station

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Posted: 7th, August 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Marmite advert ‘mocks’ child protection agencies and fat police

marmite  Marmite advert mocks child protection agencies and fat police

AD Watch spots this Marmite advert which parodies the work of animal welfare officers. It has attracted an impressive  250 official complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

A spokesman for the ASA said complaints vary from the ad being in “poor taste” to being “deeply offensive” because it “trivialises” the work of both animal welfare charities and child protection agencies.

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Posted: 7th, August 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Massive bus-sized lump of fat blocks London sewer

London sewer fatberg Massive bus sized lump of fat blocks London sewer

THAMES WATER has found and removed a huge limp of fat from the London sewers. The lump was as big as a bus. It was a blend of food fat mixed with wet wipes. It was located beneath London Road in Kingston, Surrey.

The water company wants its customers to know how valiant it is, reporting that had it not been removed it “could have led to sewage flooding many homes, streets and businesses”.

Others may well wonder how Thames Water let such a revolting mountain of gunk grow?

Gordon Hailwood, waste contracts supervisor for Thames Water, is not listening. He says:

“While we’ve removed greater volumes of fat from under central London in the past, we’ve never seen a single, congealed lump of lard this big clogging our sewers before. Given we’ve got the biggest sewers and this is the biggest fatberg we’ve encountered, we reckon it has to be the biggest such berg in British history. The sewer was almost completely clogged with over 15 tonnes of fat. If we hadn’t discovered it in time, raw sewage could have started spurting out of manholes across the whole of Kingston. It was so big it damaged the sewer and repairs will take up to six weeks. Homes and businesses need to change their ways, when it comes to fat and wipes, please remember: ‘Bin it – don’t block it.’” 

Or why not just check the bloody sewers more regularly and not wait until residents in nearby flats complain that they couldn’t flush their toilets?

File under: PR stupidity.

Posted: 6th, August 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Woman who can’t see feet called ‘fat tub of lard’ by sofa company

Customer Woman who cant see feet called fat tub of lard by sofa company

NICOLA Day, from Peterhead in Aberdeenshire says she was called ”a fat tub of lard” and an “ugly little rat” by someone at Huddersfield-based Equinox Retail.

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Posted: 5th, August 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


In 1965, Jack Kerouac and his mother were On The Road to New Orleans

PA 2779444 In 1965, Jack Kerouac and his mother were On The Road to New Orleans

IN 1965, Jack Keroauc narrated his a trip to New Orleans with his  mother (“Memère”) for the May issue of Holiday:

There’s hardly anything in the world, or at least in America, more miserable than a transcontinental bus trip with limited means. More than three days and three nights wearing the same clothes, bouncing around into town after town; even at three in the morning, when you’ve finally fallen asleep, there you are being bounced over the railroad tracks of a town, and all the lights are turned on bright to reveal your raggedness and weariness in the seat. To do that, as I’d done so often as a strong young man, is bad enough; but to have to do that when you’re a sixty-two-year-old lady … yet Memère is more cheerful than I, and she devises a terrific trick to keep us in fairly good shape—aspirins with Coke three times a day to calm the nerves.

From mid-Florida we roll in the late afternoon over orange-grove hills toward the Tallahassee and Mobile of morning, no prospect of New Orleans till noon and already fair exhausted. Such an enormous country, you realize when you cross it on buses, the dreadful stretches between equally dreadful cities, all of them looking the same when seen from the bus of woes, the never-get-there bus stopping everywhere, and worst of all the string of fresh enthusiastic drivers every two or three hundred miles warning everyone to relax and be happy.

Sometimes during the night I look at my poor sleeping mother cruelly crucified there in the American night because of no-money, no-hope-of-money, no-family, no-nothing—just myself, the stupid son of plans all compacted of eventual darkness. God, how right Hemingway was when he said there was no remedy for life.

Spotter: Longform, via Sully

Posted: 3rd, August 2013 | In: Books, Flashback | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The 22 greatest vintage guns for kids adverts

WHEN did you lean to like guns? As Lileks says:

I’m not saying it’s the be-all / end-all of ideological tests, but you can tell a lot about a person by their reaction to these ads. That was then, to understate the case. Nowadays we’ve done away with these dangerous violent antisocial pseudo-guns, and replaced them with merry-makers like Nerf guns and Supersoakers and other items whose makers encourage you to point them at your friends.

If a Nerf gun more likely to appeal to a nascent serial killer than a Daisy? What about a victual gun on Tour of Duty? There will be studies:

 

comic book guns 21 The 22 greatest vintage guns for kids adverts

 

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Posted: 3rd, August 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Subway – now with added penis

penis on bread1 Subway   now with added penis

TWO berks have been sacked by Subway after they posted explicit photos on Instagram while they were at work. The two bozos baked bread into a lovely cock and balls shape and, oddly, froze urine in a water bottle.

One popped his lad onto a loaf of bread, as you can see here.

The employee who uploaded the photos, weedpriest if you want to find them online, got round to deleting the offending content, however they hadn’t banked on people’s ability to screengrab things.

And then share them around the world.

Subway said in a statement:

“This isolated incident is not representative of Subway Sandwich Artists. These actions are not tolerated and the franchisee took immediate action to terminate the two employees involved.”

What’s worse than sticking your widger on bread? Calling your employees ‘sandwich artists’.

Posted: 2nd, August 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Penis Pants: Eldridge Cleaver liberated your Weiner

cleaver penis Penis Pants: Eldridge Cleaver liberated your Weiner

 

IN November 1978, Jet magazine spoke with Presidential candidate, Black Panther, Moonie, Republican, Mormon, creator of the religion Christlam and producer creator Penis Pants, one Eldridge Cleaver:

Life is just a chain of daisies when you slip into (careful, now) these revolutionary hot pants – with their ever-so-daring accent provacateur – just unveiled by famous radical designer Edridge Cleaver of Paris.  They’re bad, they’re mad, they’re up front (but never out of sight)… and, of course, they’re for men only… REAL men… the three-fisted variety. ‘There’s no mistaking they are men’s pants,’ says M. Cleaver (seen here modeling a high-waisted two-tone pair of ‘Cleavers’ with side zipper and matching ‘appurtenance.’  ‘The pants that men wear now will be seen as girls’ pants after my models are sold.  And don’t forget…heavy on the starch!”

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Posted: 1st, August 2013 | In: Fashion, Flashback, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


JK Rowling crime writer identity was revealed over a Twitter chat

JK Rowling 008 JK Rowling crime writer identity was revealed over a Twitter chat

WE know JK Rowling was ‘Robert Galbraith’, writer of the crime novel The Cuckoo’s Calling because a friend of a solicitor at Russells, her lawyers, told someone on Twitter.

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Posted: 31st, July 2013 | In: Books | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Charles cashes in on Prince George with a range of tat and drugs paraphenalia

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Posted: 31st, July 2013 | In: Royal Family, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


THIS is an undated image showing a circa 1780 newspaper advertisement by the slave-trading dealership of Austin, Laurens and Appleby announcing the arrival of African slaves to the American colonies at Ashley Ferry outside of Charleston, S.C.

THIS is an undated image showing a circa 1780 newspaper advertisement by the slave-trading dealership of Austin, Laurens and Appleby announcing the arrival of African slaves to the American colonies at Ashley Ferry outside of Charleston, S.C.

PA 10651179 THIS is an undated image showing a circa 1780 newspaper advertisement by the slave trading dealership of Austin, Laurens and Appleby announcing the arrival of African slaves to the American colonies at Ashley Ferry outside of Charleston, S.C.

Posted: 29th, July 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


1900: The smallest shop in London

IN 1900, this was the smallest shop in London – a  1.2 square meter shoe shop.

smallest shop in london 1900: The smallest shop in London

Spotter: collectivehistory

Posted: 29th, July 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


50 Shades of Rainbow Dash: My Little Pony erotic fans fiction exists (extracts)

15786393 1 50 Shades of Rainbow Dash: My Little Pony erotic fans fiction exists (extracts)

MY Little Pony fan fiction is a thing that exists. It’s 50 Shades of Rainbow Dash.

These are a few extracts from the genre:

Rarity’s Erotic Massage by ZeroJanitor

“Hello to you too, Rarity.” said Twilight. “I came by to inform you that there’s going to be party at Sugarcube Corner at six o’clock tonight, hosted by our very own Pinkie Pie! There’s going to be food, games, movies, and between you and me, I think Pinkie’s going to make her ‘special’ punch.”

Twilight just stared at the ironing board in confusion. Rarity noticed the flustered look on her face.

“Oop! Hold on one second, Twilight!” Rarity activated her horn and pulled one of the dresser drawers open and lifted a screwdriver out. She used this to loosen the screw at the focal point of the board’s legs at about the speed of a power drill. The legs started to collapse, causing the ironing board to fall closer to the floor. At about 20 inches off the ground, Rarity drilled the screw back in and put the screwdriver back in the drawer. “There! Much better!”

Twilight hopped onto the table. Her legs dangled over the side, almost touching the ground, as her face was pressed firmly into the throw pillow. “You’re sure about this?” she asked, in a slightly muffled voice.

Though Rarity was a bit disgusted by the idea of Twilight’s lubricant getting on her ironing board, she enjoyed the idea even more.

Missionary position is tricky for ponies, but perfectly doable, evidenced by Rarity now pumping with more vigor than ever

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Posted: 29th, July 2013 | In: Books | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The 1931 cooked hot-dog vending machine

IN 1931, you could buy a warm sausage from a German vending machine, like this one.

You can buy pretty much anything from a vending machine: live crabs, tax discs for prostitutes, gold, drugs, used panties, breasts, lobster, toilet paper, eggs, iPods, flowers, cars and caviar.

Would you eat this sausage? Not now. It would be in its 80s. Then. It looks a lot like the machine is is going to the toilet. and this sausage model, the good hot dog owner, is collecting its waste to chuck in the bin…

 

sausages The 1931 cooked hot dog vending machine

Posted: 28th, July 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Does smoking marijuana make you slimmer and control insulin? Does God make you fat?

 Does smoking marijuana make you slimmer and control insulin? Does God make you fat?

CAN smoking marijuana make you thin?

This report tells us:

The study looked at more than 4,600 people, 12 percent of whom said they were current marijuana users and 42 percent of whom said they had used in the past. Previous research had shown that marijuana users had a lower prevalence for diabetes and obesity, but this was the first study where scientists tried to determine if there was a link between insulin and glucose levels and marijuana usage, Yahoo Shine reported…

The study concludes: “with the recent trends in legalization of marijuana in the United States, it is likely that physicians will increasingly encounter patients who use marijuana and should therefore be aware of the effects it can have on common disease processes, such as diabetes mellitus. We found that current marijuana use is associated with lower levels of fasting insulin, lower HOMA-IR and smaller waist circumference.”

One theory:

Some research finds that highly religious people are less likely to take drugs, but more likely to be obese — perhaps because they’re substituting one compulsive behavior (overeating) for the other (smoking marijuana). So, some of the obese people in the national surveys may be religious folk, who might otherwise be heavy marijuana smokers, but are eating too much instead. That could make it look like marijuana is slimming.Also consider that one of the most popular uses of medical marijuana is to stimulate appetite in people with cancer, AIDS or other diseases. Such patients are significantly less likely to be obese than the general population — so in this case, weight loss would precede or prompt the marijuana smoking.

Is smoking weed a compulsive behaviour?

Dr. Stuart Weiss, a professor and  endocrinologist at the NYU School Of Medicine said, “We’d have to assume that there’s some compound that is involved with this marijuana smoke that causes an improvement in metabolism.” 

Other research:

New research from the University of California, Irvine — detailed in the March issue of Cell Metabolism — found that certain brain chemicals with characteristics similar to marijuana might play a key factor in helping you shed pounds without any exercise. A dream come true? Here’s a brief look at the promising discovery…

It’s an endocannabinoid compound called 2-AG. Endocannabinoids, as the name might suggest, share a similar molecular structure to the active ingredients in cannabis. Typically, high levels of 2-AG are found in the brains of mammals, and previous studies suggested that these compounds may make the body crave fat. Scientists think endocannabinoids play a key role in regulating the body’s metabolism, or the energy it makes from food.

Interesting stuff. More studies are needed…

Posted: 27th, July 2013 | In: marijuana, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cool Ad Watch: Sainsbury’s are back to school with Wolverhampton’s B-Girl Terra

COOL Ad Watch: Sainsbury’s are back to school with Wolverhampton’s B-Girl Terra:

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Posted: 26th, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Enterprise Rent-a-car offer free sex with every pick up in Wales (see advert)

THINKING of hiring a car in Wales through the Pembrokeshire Herald newspaper? Worried that the Vauxhall Vectra you can afford will not make you look sexy? Well, Enterprise Rent-a-car have just the offer for you. Enterprise will do more than just pick you up…

enterprise rent a car Enterprise Rent a car offer free sex with every pick up in Wales (see advert)

Posted: 25th, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

THE decline of Man: modern man is in a state of crisis, reared on a diet of creams, depilated, patent skin and self-tanning unguents. Here, Anorak looks at the fall of manhood.

Man1 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

 

“I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles. It’s a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ‘ball ironing’.”

It is generally assumed that George Clooney was joking when he delivered the above quote. One thing is true, though: ‘ball ironing’ (or ‘male laser lift’) is available at the Beauty Park in Santa Monica for just under $600, and it is proving very popular.

Clooney may not have had the treatment himself, but his familiarity with it is cause for concern. It’s just the latest in a series of milestones in the steady emasculation of our role models. And the rot set in, as it so often did, in the 1950s.

 

Dennis Compton

Man2 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

Compton (second left, with Burt Lancaster and Frankie Vaughan) was a brilliant batsman with a Test average of 50 (including over 200 runs in one match against South Africa using an antique bat borrowed from the cricket museum). He also found time to play football for Arsenal, with whom he won both the league championship and the FA Cup. Unfortunately, he also became the face of Brylcreem, and set the tone for future generations of sportsmen to dabble in the darker corners of male grooming.

Man3 1 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

 

Elvis Presley

Man4 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

Presley offended people in numerous ways –not least with his habit of wearing eye makeup. None of which stopped him from being drafted into the US Army. Here the prospective GI sits his written military exam, in slightly more discreet slap.

Man5 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

 

Henry Cooper

As deodorant manufacturers attempted to broaden their appeal to the male half of the population, they recruited macho sporty types like Our ’Enery (’ere wiv’ ’Arvey Smiff) who here advertises Brut with the immortal slogan ‘Splash it all over’.

 

Ron Atkinson

Big Ron: The Sunbed Years.

Man6 1 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

 

Graham Gooch

Man7 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

In his playing days as opening bat for England, ‘Goochy’ sported an imperial moustache and resembled an officer at Rourk’s Drift. His subsequent hair transplant came as something of a shock – and led to a series of rather defensive gestures. Defensive, not about the fact of the transplant, but the quality of the weave itself.

Here Gooch, as the official caption puts it, ‘test[s] his hair replacement treatment in a Central London health Gym, to disprove claims that the treatment does not work. The former England captain is at the centre of an disgreement, after a client of AHS (Advanced Hair Studio) along with the Advertising Standards Authority claimed that adverts claiming that Gooch could swim, shower, and play sport with his hair treatment were wrong and misleading.’

Man8 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

 

David Beckham

Man9 1 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

The signs were there as a young boy, when he enjoyed wearing knickerbockers and ballet shoes. Later we had his own take on Brylcreem advertising (above) and experiments with sarongs. His nomination here, however, is for his championing of the ‘back. sack and crack’ – the logical conclusion of the waxing mania that overtook British manhood in the twenty-first century.

Luis Figo

Deserves his place here for his role in the general poncification of older men, with his truly terrible Just For Men advertisement – a product for disguising grey hair and beards and allowing old men to kid themselves that they are attractive to women half their age.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Rio Ferdinand

AKA: Ronaldo and Rio in hotpants hell. What were they thinking? Seriously?

images3 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models
 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

Shane Warne

Man12 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

He held his hands up to the hair transplant, and fair play to him for that, but Shane’s explanation for his subsequent transformation into a taught-faced waxwork is altogether less convincing: he attributed it to ‘good moisturiser’. Others spoke of botox, facelifts and teeth whitening. Wherefore art thou, Warney-o?

Leinster Rugby

Man13 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

The citadel falls. Once upon a time the best you could hope for in a rugby union changing room was a bar of coal tar soap and a turd in your kit bag. Now you are more likely to find a range of hair and skin care products. Leinster Rugby are now sponsored by Nivea for Men. Or should that be ‘Men’?

O tempora, o mores!

Man14 1 The decline of man: the steady emasculation of our role models

ENDS

Posted: 24th, July 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Crystal Palace underground toilets are now a compact and bijou home (photo)

ARCHITECT Laura Jane Clark has transformed these ancient Crystal Palace Parade underground toilets (built: 1929; closed in the 1980s) into a 600 square foot home.

She bought he lavs for £20,000, invested £65,000 and now owns an underground home that boasts a few original fixtures and fittings, notably the public health warning sign for VD.

P1010074 Crystal Palace underground toilets are now a compact and bijou home (photo)

 

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Posted: 24th, July 2013 | In: Money, The Consumer | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0