The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
LOCAL News: Swansea’s Pam Hopkins is “still wearing the same cardigan after 54 years – and she says it’s never lost a button”.
She beats the previous records:
THE STORY of tobacco in advertising is a long and winding tale. At some points it has targeted children, at others it has tried to sound like a health food. The specter of cancer has loomed over the product for decades, and advertisers have done their best to divert your attention from the elephant in the room. Tobacco advertising has been overtly sexist and overtly pro-woman (i.e. Virginia Slims); it will be anything you want it to be in order to gain your love and trust.
Indeed, we could talk all day about the dubious practice of selling carcinogens, but let’s focus on the one tactic that tobacco peddlers have relied on most. Here are ten fantastically sexy and sexist vintage ads for your viewing pleasure.
Can you believe they actually tried to make the second-hand smoke smell good? This one advertises cherry and blueberry flavor. I suppose it sounded like a good idea on paper. After all, why must smoke always smell like the Grim Reaper farted? Why can’t second-hand smoke not only cause cancer, but smell great too? Well, you’ve got to hand it to Tipalet for giving it the college try, even if it did end with abysmal failure. Fruity smokes may not have worked out, but at least it spawned this infamous advert ….
TO Grimsby and Cleethorpes in north east Lincolnshire, where the hunt is on for the Pizza Bandit, who lurks in takeaways listening to phone orders before delivering empty boxes and pocketing the cash.
Hollie Belton, 27, of Grimsby, had ordered tow large chicken kebabs from Verona’s Pizzeria in Cleethorpes. A man arrived at her door. she paid him the £12. He then drove off in a yellow T-reg Ford Ka. She opened the box to find it empty.
FANCY hanging a live animal from your throat? AVAAZ.org are campaigning to end the revolting trend of sticking live animals in jewellery. They want the United Nations to:
We call on the UN to demand the Chinese government to ban the manufacture and sale of amulets and jewelry containing live animals.
Would the Chinese listen to the UN when they and anyone who buys these keychains can’t see for themselves that it’s sick?
New fashion jewelry in China, animals living under plastic containing a liquid nutrient and oxygen that allows them to live up to 2 months.
This is cruel and should be condemned by the international community.
The animals – mostly turtles and other sea creatures – are, as Change.org’s petition states:
…Brazilian turtles or king fish swimming in colored water are considered good-luck charms by many Chinese…According to vendors, the colored water in the 7-centimeter-long keychains contains nutrients that allow fish and turtles to live inside for months. While that may be true, Mary Peng, cofounder of the International Center for Veterinary Services, says they couldn’t survive in the sealed bag for very long, due to lack of oxygen.
These creatures are better off dead.
“WE are influenced by the beauty of Eiffel Tower, we are not content to just add something to the nose, we reconstruct it,” says surgeon Wang Xuming.
CUE the husky voice. Cue the thumping backtrack. Cue the man in combat fatigues shooting at melons. This is an advert for the Radically Invasive Projectile – The Last Round You’ll Ever Need. It is the RIP Cartridge.
The RIP bullet is not only handy pun that gives death’s tribute a twist or gut-mangling gorn, but it is “effective against”:
MULTIPLE DENIM LAYERS
Comes with free thesaurus:
TECHNOLOGY has been rocketing along so quickly, it’s difficult to put on the breaks, stop for a moment and get a perspective. Sometimes you just need to dig your heels in and take a look backward. As the current rushes you madly onward, it may do you good to just pause and see how far we’ve come in such a short amount of time.
Taking a look at progress in technology as whole is much too broad; our heads will likely explode if we try and take it all in. Instead, let’s just look at your phone – that thin little rectangle you have in your pocket or are looking at right now…
It can do more than Hubot could ever dream of. And while it is unlikely Hubot was capable of dreaming, it could play AM/FM radio, check the temperature, tell the time, and play Atari 2600 games. Hubot came with a price tag of $3495 in 1981 – adjusted for inflation that comes to $8957 (£5432). For that kind of price, Hubot better be able to do dishes, kill intruders, and stimulate pleasure centers on command.
Alas, it did not. But let’s look at a single function on your mobile device that you likely take for granted: voice messages.
To read this advert, it sounds as though your very life is going to change thanks to an answering machine. Indeed, the Phone Butler will rid you of your cumbersome existence, and introduce you to the jet-setting world of recorded phone messages.
Now you can spend your vacations and nights out on the town with complete ease, knowing that all your calls and messages are being handled efficiently, and are waiting at home for you!…. Don’t worry about missing calls while you’re out doing yard work, in the shower, shopping, sunbathing, or socializing with the neighbors, you’ll never have to make a run for the phone again!
It’s hard to imagine that something as commonplace as voice messaging was sold as an answer to prayers just a few decades back. That would be like saying having no phone cord was a miracle of science – hey, what a sec…
“You see, with our cordless phone you’re not tied down by the cord – because there is no cord!”
No longer was mankind tethered; he was free to roam from patio to garage to toilet with splendid freedom. Advertisements announced this latest break with great fanfare. Of course, no longer being “tethered” meant you were also never out of reach. So, in a twist of fate, going cordless resulted in less freedom. Who knew?
In the ‘80s, you knew you “made it” if you could conduct business from your tub… preferably while sporting a self-important smirk. Once again, the advertisers are driving the point home that your tech devices no longer require terminals – they are wherever you are. Our younger generations will never know the type of world where you have designated phone and computer locations – things haven’t just become portable, they are damn near bodily appendages.
Another thing future generations will never know is the telephone queue. The very thought of actually having to wait your turn to use a phone is madness. But there’s a flipside to this: If you knew you had to spend a painful amount of time waiting in line every time you had to make a call, wouldn’t you use the phone less? And if so, might you be doing something more enriching or enjoyable with the time?
That’s crazy talk. Let’s move on.
One thing that we’ve all collectively dreamed about in our science fiction is the “video phone”. Every futuristic depiction worth its salt had one. Of course, now Skype, Face Time and the like are just boring parts of life – no more shocking than your washing machine or toaster oven. Who would have thought that a technology so anticipated would so quickly be taken for granted?
Well, we could stand in amazement at the many examples of brilliant communications technologies which have become mundane overnight. However, the current is quickly pulling us onward. No time to linger in quiet appreciation; in the time it took you to read this article, at least three of your tech devices have gone obsolete.
VISITORS to 1920s NYC could study the Valentine’s City of New York: A Guide Book. As any reader of P.G. Wodehouse’s Psmith, Journalist will now full well, New York was a dangerous place back then, overrun by gangs, slum landlords and shysters.
THESE days the King’s Road looks not unlike many other high-streets across the country, albeit a bit posher. If you stroll down the road you’ll see, just like anywhere else, Boots, WH Smiths and the ubiquitous coffee-shop chains. In fact, always a trend-setter, the King’s Road was where Starbucks chose to open its first ever UK coffee-shop just fifteen or so years ago in 1998. Of course it has a McDonald’s like anywhere else but the King’s Road McDonalds is a bit different to most – it used to be the Chelsea Drugstore.
FACES of the day: Visitors view a photo of the ‘Grieving Parents’ statue during an exhibit, World War One, 1914-1918, at the In Flanders Fields Museum in Ypres, Belgium on Friday, Jan. 24, 2014. The statue of the Grieving Parents, by noted German sculptor Kathe Kollwitz, is a tribute to her youngest son, Peter, who was killed in October 1914 and is buried in the Vladslo German Cemetery in Belgium.
The eyes on the father-figure, left, gaze onto the ninth stone before him, on which his son’s name is written.
The statues of she and her husband Karl:
The artist’s own burial plot in Berlin-Friedrichsfelde is beautiful:
WHEN do you know if it’s true love? Japanese lingerie manufacturer Ravijou has taken the guesswork out of foreplay by inventing a bra clasp that only unhooks when “true love” is detected. If that significant other is only after a quick fumble or your valuables, the clasp stays closed.
CANADA has closed it borders to Marmite, Irn Bru, Bovril and Penguin bars.
A Mr – get this – Tony Badger, owner of a British foods shop in Saskatoon, central Canada, says his goods have been impounded. He told CKOM news: ““My understanding was we were importing legally. We’ve been declaring it through a customs broker and we’ve never had an issue until now.”
Here’s a look around the shop, with authentic 1950s intermission music in keeping with the general theme of Canada being 60 years behind the UK:
FANTASTIC haircut news: the bill to cut Kobe Bryan’s hair for a Nike shoot ran to $860.
This is Kobe Bryant:
No. That’s him on the right.
MEN’S fashion is a great sauce of chuckling. Get a load of American fashion designer Thom Browne’s men’s Fall-Winter 2014-2015 fashion collection, presented Sunday, Jan. 19, 2014 in Paris.
He should have called the collection Bug Money or Mugs Money:
MANY of you will remember the Hostess snack adverts that appeared in comic books throughout the 70s. They all had the same basic story: a villain is subverted from his diabolical plan by a well-known superhero… and the help of a sugary cream-filled cake.
This may be genius marketing (after all, comic books and junk food go well together), but it’s also a bit troubling because it calls a few things into question:
- Exactly how special are our superheroes (Batman, Spider-Man, etc.) when all it takes to vanquish an arch-enemy is a box of Twinkies? Subsequently, doesn’t this call into question the severity of the threats in the first place? I mean, if Lex Luthor can be stopped by a package of sugary sweets, what does this say about his evil villain status?
- What ingredients are in these treats? These superheroes and villains possess incredible powers, yet it’s the snack cake that wins every time.
Norway’s Curling Team Are Early Leaders In Olympics Fashion Stakes With Their ‘Life-Changing’ Trousers
NORWAY’S Olympic curling team is in fine fettle for the upcoming games in Sochi.
The Norwegians have form:
The designer is Christoffer Svae, who tells the AP that he asked a company called Loudmouth to jazz up the team’s kit:
“It’s definitely been life-changing for us,” Svae told the AP. “Not so much in the everyday but when we travel around the world for curling, it doesn’t always matter if we do well or not, people still think that we win stuff because we are always in the media.”
“I don’t think you’ll see a lot of the other teams do the same that we did,” Svae added, “they feel it’s our thing.”
If you look closely at the new kit, you can see a boy in tricycle riding up the zigzags.
ARE you scared by the “Anorexia doll”? The Sun says there are “Fears over toy snubbing food”.
Daniel Jones reports:
HEALTH campaigners want to ban a new doll that refuses to eat — claiming it encourages anorexia. The interactive baby turns her head away when a child tries to give her food. Critics say the £34.99 Nenuco Won’t Eat set will make toddlers think that refusing food is normal behaviour.
PLENTY of small companies out there have found themselves sliding down the Google search results after they paid some consultant or other to improve their web rankings. Because the consultants then go out and buy links from blogs and other websites: something that tricks the Google search engine into thinking that the site is more important than it is.