Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 3

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Fashion Fails: the ‘Don’t Open ‘Til Christmas’ WTF children’s onesies

Fashion brand Hatley has some intersting items for the kids:

 

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Up close:

 

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Oh, and dad gets one, too:

‘Til Chtistmas’

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Posted: 9th, December 2014 | In: Fashion | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Brendan Jordan arrives: the gayest boy in the world advertises for American Apparel

 

Your hero in the above video is Brendan Jordan, the 15-year-old lurker who seized his chance when local news filmed in his area.

Said Master Jordan:

“I just saw a camera, and did my thing. I was imagining myself as if I were Lady Gaga, and that no one could destroy me.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, December 2014 | In: Fashion | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


For sale: the anti-Christ sword

cursed sword

To Austin, Texas, where a Cragslist advert tells of a cursed, double-handed 18th century broadsword.

They say “they could feel a strange energy in my sword room”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, December 2014 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mock the poor with a Clinton Cards ‘Council Estate Santa Clause Christmas Card’

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Cop a load of this  Christmas card from @ClintonsTweet. It”s ‘funny’.. Well, so Clinton Cards says.

Council Estate Santa has:

1. He Has a serial record for breaking and entering!
2. He uses various wild animals to pull his sleigh
3. He only works once a year
4. He’s never actually been seen doing any work in his whole life
5. He drinks alcohol during working hours
6.He barely leaves his home for fear of being recognised
7. He wears the same, out-of-fashion clothes everyday and never washes them
8. He uses loads of different names and aliases purely for his own gain!
9. He gets letters from lot of people, all demanding that he owes them things!
10. He can get hold of all the latest designer gear but never pays a penny for it!

His wife is not a ho-ho-ho. That would, presumably, be too funny…

 

 

 

 

 

Posted: 6th, December 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The 22 most marvellous and ridiculous items Burt Reynolds is selling at auction

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Burt Reynolds is selling the 1977 Pontiac Trans Am from Smokey and the Bandit – billed as “maybe the coolest car ever”. It isn’t.  But if that doesn’t take your fancy, Burt Reynolds is clearing out lots of other stuff, including numerous guns (mostly non-firing), horse tack, a treasure chest of trophies and lots of artworks of his goodself. 

Shop until you drop at Julien’s Auctions:

 

Estimate: $400 - $600

Estimate: $400 – $600

Sculpture of Reynolds reading a newspaper, opening bid $1000-2000

Sculpture of Reynolds reading a newspaper, opening bid $1000-2000

Burt Reynolds Rolodex, opening bid $300-500

Burt Reynolds Rolodex, opening bid $300-500

Dom DeLuise painting, opening bid $1500-2000

Dom DeLuise painting, opening bid $1500-2000

Burt Reynolds voided American Express card, opening bid $100-200

Burt Reynolds voided American Express card, opening bid $100-200

Burt Reynolds Striptease working script, opening bid $200-400

Burt Reynolds Striptease working script, opening bid $200-400

Burt Reynolds naked torso painting, opening bid $800-1200

Burt Reynolds naked torso painting, opening bid $800-1200

Burt Reynolds carved miniature, opening bid $400-600

Burt Reynolds carved miniature, opening bid $400-600

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Estimate: $60,000 - $80,000 Starting: $30,000 Few movies are as iconic in the world of cars as Smokey & the Bandit. Released January 1, 1977 starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field and a black and gold “Screaming Chicken”, the movie tells the story of the aches and pains of getting a Coors beer east of the Mississippi. This is Mr. Reynolds' 1977 Trans Am Coupe (T-Top) which was used as a promotional vehicle for the movie and gifted to Burt for his collection.  She features a 400 cid Pontiac V-8 engine, a 4-barrel carburetor and an automatic transmission.  With a gold plaque on the driver door stating “1977 Pontiac Trans Am Owned By Burt Reynolds” and a customized "Bandit" logo, this is "no ordinary automobile"; it's a piece of "Hollywood History".  This is an amazing opportunity to own what just might be the coolest car EVER!

Estimate: $60,000 – $80,000
Starting: $30,000
Few movies are as iconic in the world of cars as Smokey & the Bandit. Released January 1, 1977 starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field and a black and gold “Screaming Chicken”, the movie tells the story of the aches and pains of getting a Coors beer east of the Mississippi. This is Mr. Reynolds’ 1977 Trans Am Coupe (T-Top) which was used as a promotional vehicle for the movie and gifted to Burt for his collection. She features a 400 cid Pontiac V-8 engine, a 4-barrel carburetor and an automatic transmission. With a gold plaque on the driver door stating “1977 Pontiac Trans Am Owned By Burt Reynolds” and a customized “Bandit” logo, this is “no ordinary automobile”; it’s a piece of “Hollywood History”. This is an amazing opportunity to own what just might be the coolest car EVER!

 Starting: $5,000 A custom-built motorized stagecoach, built in 1979 on an International Harvester Scout frame with a 345 V8 engine and four-wheel drive, seats up to 10 people. This stagecoach was used for Burt Reynolds' wedding to Loni Anderson. The interior was custom-designed by Dolly Parton. It is marked "The Burt Reynolds Horse Ranch" and has the "BR" monogram in multiple places. Vehicle identification number J0062JGD30393.


Starting: $5,000
A custom-built motorized stagecoach, built in 1979 on an International Harvester Scout frame with a 345 V8 engine and four-wheel drive, seats up to 10 people. This stagecoach was used for Burt Reynolds’ wedding to Loni Anderson. The interior was custom-designed by Dolly Parton. It is marked “The Burt Reynolds Horse Ranch” and has the “BR” monogram in multiple places. Vehicle identification number J0062JGD30393.

 Starting: $1,500 A custom-built Valley Carriage Works red and white covered carriage with the Burt Reynolds Ranch "BR" monogram. This carriage was a gift to Burt Reynolds from Dolly Parton.


Starting: $1,500
A custom-built Valley Carriage Works red and white covered carriage with the Burt Reynolds Ranch “BR” monogram. This carriage was a gift to Burt Reynolds from Dolly Parton.

Estimate: $200 - $300 Starting: $100 A pair of Burt Reynolds brown leather chaps. Dark brown trim is tooled to look as though the leather was woven. Additional floral tooling, lacing and buckle closure and faux bone fasteners down the side of each leg.

Estimate: $200 – $300
Starting: $100
A pair of Burt Reynolds brown leather chaps. Dark brown trim is tooled to look as though the leather was woven. Additional floral tooling, lacing and buckle closure and faux bone fasteners down the side of each leg.

 Starting: $1,000 A Golden Globe award presented to Burt Reynolds for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series Comedy for his role as Wood Newton in Evening Shade (CBS, 1990-1994). Presented by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.


Starting: $1,000
A Golden Globe award presented to Burt Reynolds for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series Comedy for his role as Wood Newton in Evening Shade (CBS, 1990-1994). Presented by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Estimate: $400 - $600 Starting: $200 A black and white publicity photograph signed by the cast of Friends (NBC, 1994-2004). Inscribed "To Burt, Your Friends" and signed by Matt LeBlanc, Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer.

Estimate: $400 – $600
Starting: $200
A black and white publicity photograph signed by the cast of Friends (NBC, 1994-2004). Inscribed “To Burt, Your Friends” and signed by Matt LeBlanc, Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer.

Estimate: $200 - $300 Starting: $100 A color photograph of Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning and Michael Jeter taken on the set of Evening Shade (CBS, 1990-1994) from a 1991 episode. Matted and framed; not examined out of frame.

Estimate: $200 – $300
Starting: $100
A color photograph of Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning and Michael Jeter taken on the set of Evening Shade (CBS, 1990-1994) from a 1991 episode. Matted and framed; not examined out of frame.

 Starting: $200 A typed, signed letter from Katharine Hepburn to Burt Reynolds. The letter, dated "XII - 24 - 1992," is on Hepburn's personal stationery and reads in full, "Dear Burt, All day long I've been sending thanks and thanks and thanks so much - Now I have received your present - I've opened the bottle and have drunk the entire bottle of whiskey - Now I am happy - How sensitive of you to know exactly what I needed at this junction - Kate" Housed in a matte with the original transmittal envelope.


Starting: $200
A typed, signed letter from Katharine Hepburn to Burt Reynolds. The letter, dated “XII – 24 – 1992,” is on Hepburn’s personal stationery and reads in full, “Dear Burt, All day long I’ve been sending thanks and thanks and thanks so much – Now I have received your present – I’ve opened the bottle and have drunk the entire bottle of whiskey – Now I am happy – How sensitive of you to know exactly what I needed at this junction – Kate” Housed in a matte with the original transmittal envelope.

Estimate: $400 - $600 Starting: $200 A frame with an inscription to Burt Reynolds from Elizabeth Taylor. The silver frame has a heart-shaped window with an image of Reynolds and is inscribed "A.P.L.A. September 19th 1985 To Burt Reynolds With My Love And All My Thanks Elizabeth."

Estimate: $400 – $600
Starting: $200
A frame with an inscription to Burt Reynolds from Elizabeth Taylor. The silver frame has a heart-shaped window with an image of Reynolds and is inscribed “A.P.L.A. September 19th 1985 To Burt Reynolds With My Love And All My Thanks Elizabeth.”

Estimate: $2,000 - $3,000 Starting: $1,000 A full body mounted brown Kodiak bear in aggressive pose.

Estimate: $2,000 – $3,000
Starting: $1,000
A full body mounted brown Kodiak bear in aggressive pose.

Estimate: $600 - $800 Starting: $300 "He Wants You To Have His Baby (Portrait of Burt Reynolds)," lithograph on canvas, advertising image from the film Paternity (Paramount, 1981).

Estimate: $600 – $800
Starting: $300
“He Wants You To Have His Baby (Portrait of Burt Reynolds),” lithograph on canvas, advertising image from the film Paternity (Paramount, 1981).

Estimate: $600 - $800 Starting: $300 "The Many Faces of Burt," oil on artist board, signed by Victor Victori and dated '82 lower right

Estimate: $600 – $800
Starting: $300
“The Many Faces of Burt,” oil on artist board, signed by Victor Victori and dated ’82 lower right

Posted: 6th, December 2014 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


God’ll Fix It: when Jimmy Savile confessed to his demons in 1978

Book of the day is the 1979 tome, God’ll Fix It, the divine words of Sir Jimmy Savile.

 

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The chapter How Do I Cope With Sex? , told readers:

Sex at its worst is corruption, as when young people might be corrupted to provide sex.’

 

 

God'll fix it

 

 

The final word is with the Star:

 

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Spotter: UsVThem

 

Posted: 3rd, December 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Crap Advent Calendars: One Direction’s Niall Horan Does A Runny Poo

Much excitement at Anorak Towers are we open the flaps on the first One Direction advent calendar window.

 

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The first flaps are situated on Niall Horan’s backside.

 

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D’lish.

Five boys one runny cip.

 

Posted: 1st, December 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Black Friday: The Asda Cheerleaders Fight To The Death Over Underwear At Victoria’s Secret

It’s Black Friday, the day when shops seduce shoppers with bargains.

Two faces of the show:

1. Cheerleaders at the Asda store in Wembley, north west London during Black Friday.

 

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2. Victoria’s Secret, Liverpool.

The morgue:

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Posted: 28th, November 2014 | In: Money, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cheese Big Enough To Kill A Man Arrives In Canada

cheese huge

How do you describe something big? Traditionally, fooball pitches, buses or St Paul’s Cathedral have been used to describe a thing’s length or height.  But writing in the Ottwah Citzen, Alison Mah takes a new angle:

A 1,000-pound provolone that would likely kill you if it fell on you the wrong way has arrived in Ottawa.

Big enough to kill you.

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Posted: 26th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Newcastle United Balls: Faustino Asprilla Has A Range Of Condoms

Tito condoms

 

Former Newcastle United favourite Faustino Asprilla offers us his “Tino” condoms for your good sexual health in Colombia, the Bigg Market and beyond.

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Posted: 25th, November 2014 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Neal Cassady Shall Be Justified: Read The Joan Anderson Letter That Inspired Jack Kerouac’s On The Road

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In 1950 Neal Cassady chocked down mouthfuls of speed and wrote a 16,000 words, 18-page letter to hgis friend Jack Kerouac. In it he recalled a trip to Denver and a dalliance with a Joan Anderson. Kerouac was writing On The Road.  After reading Cassady’s letter he began it anew.

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Posted: 24th, November 2014 | In: Books, News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jesus Wept! The Christmas Jumper That Bleeds For Your Fashion Sins

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Who hasn’t looked at a Christmas jumper and declared ‘Jesus’?

Shredders are selling this fine seasonal sweater designed by Steve Byrne.

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Spotter

 

 

 

Posted: 23rd, November 2014 | In: Fashion | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Buy This Wonderful Raiders Of The Lost Ark Face Melting Candle

Nazi face candle

Here’s a noveltt item to reallt set the pulses racing: a Raiders of The Lost Ark candle. It’s modelled on Major Arnold Toht, the Nazi whose face melts when the magic chest is opened.

Firebox says:

 “Thankfully it melts a lot slower than his face does in the film.”

Nazi face candle 1

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Posted: 21st, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The ‘Guardian Class’ Want Video Games Rated For Sexism

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In light of “Gamergate”, Sweden’s “government-funded innovation agency” Vinnova are looking at rating video games by their “sexist” content.
The Local catches up with one Vinnova “manager” who “said it was unclear at this stage if all video games produced in Sweden would be given a label, or if companies developing games that promoted equality would be given some kind of certification to use for their own marketing purposes… Video games can help us to create more diverse workplaces and can even change the way we think about things.”
Job done. We think you’re an idiot who treats people who play video games as fools. These people who play video games will not grow up believing all women are sexually available 2D bimbos. Just as the elite tell us that football fans’ speech must be controlled lest they race riot, gamers do not need re-educating.
Every aspect of our lives is being politicised. Unwinding with a video game is now a moral issue. Escapism is not allowed. Where once the fearful right condemend video nasties, acid house and comic books, the authoritarian left is now commanding:

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Posted: 20th, November 2014 | In: News, Technology, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Real Barbie Dolls Comes With Spots, Stretch Marks And Issues

Want to see the real Barbie doll? Nickolay Lamm wants to show us what a real woman as a plastic doll would look like. His Lammily doll has impetigo, a mole, wounds, bruises and – unlike Mr Stretch Armstrong – stretch marks.

 

 

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Who knew that a real person wasn’t like a doll?

Kids, eh, so stupid they think all adults look like Barbie. If you let them drive real cars they’d just sit ther going “Brrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmm”. And never – NEVER – leave your child alone with a full gown grizzly bear.

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Posted: 20th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Elly Prizeman Is British Fashion’s Newest Star

 

ELLY Prizeman is the most talked about shirt designer on this planet (and whatever planet they’re on).

Her stellar range of shirts is out of this world (as modelled by Matt Taylor).

As another notable shirt designer, Vivienne Westwood, put it:

You have a more interesting life if you wear impressive clothes.

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Posted: 19th, November 2014 | In: Fashion, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sexist Barbie Says ‘I Can Be…A Computer Engineeer’ – But Only If The Boys Do All The Work

WHAT can Babie be? Well, if you melt her down, she could be doorstop, a martial aid part of South Korean car’s dashboard.  But to Martel, Babrie can be anything.

Barbie Can Be…A Computer Engineeer.

Live the dream, Barbie! And dig those glasses. You sure must have smarts to wear bins like those.

 

Barbie I Can Be

 

 

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Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: Books, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


John Waters Reads: My Singing Anus And Carsick Parodies

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John Waters hitchhiked his way across the USA. He’s written it up in Carsick.

“I have probably 8,500 books all catalogued and everything. I’m a book collector. The novelizations of movies which no one collects? I collect them. I also collect porn parodies of literature. So yes, I collect all kinds of books.”

The first two chapters of his book are fictional. He wonders what thrills await him, such as giving head during a demolition derby and being murdered by a serial killer with a thing for film directors.

“Some people skip [the introduction] and they don’t realize the first two parts are fiction. They say, ‘Did that really happen?’ Do you really believe my singing anus did a duet with Connie Francis?”

Save it for the movie…

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


FAIL: London Estate Agent Strutt And Parker Creates Truly Terrible Ad

To London, where Tom Doran @portraitinflesh spots this hideous advert from esate agency Strutt And Parker:

DEAR GOD. Is this a current advert? How on Earth could @struttandparker sign off on this?

Answer: because they’re estate agents.

Strutt And Parker

Via: @OscarWGrut

 

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nurtured Sea Salt In A Thing That Exists

YOU can raise salt in an captive environment:

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Spotter: Anna Dingley @annadingley

 

 

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0