The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
THE Toff, or to give him his proper name, the Honourable Richard Rollison, was the creation of the novelist John Creasey and first appeared in the tuppenny weekly crime magazine in 1933. The first novel ‘Introducing the Toff’ appeared in 1938. There were eventually fifty-seven books in the series the last of which, ‘The Toff and the Dead Man’s Finger’ wasn’t published until five years after the author died in 1973.
Fifty-seven novels is a lot of writing (Creasey occasionally published six Toffs in just one year) but actually it was just a fraction of Creasey’s output who, according to his publisher, is the 6th or 7th most prolific writer of all time.
“TWISTED”, “Depraved”, “Warped” – these are words often found on the covers of sleazy lesbian paperbacks of the 1950s and 60s. Anything other than “normal” heterosexuality was seen as shameful and deviant. Yet, the populace gobbled up these lesbian tales by the truckload… it was sinful to practice, but evidently okay to read and fantasize about.
Here, for your vulgar amusement, are 33 covers of sinful tales of women who love women (the horror!). I’ve divided them up into 3 categories. Just because it’s filth, doesn’t mean we can’t keep it organized.
1. ABNORMAL TALES
Lesbianism is an abnormality, a sickness. Somebody call a doctor!
YOU’VE seen them – those needle-craft booklets that were so popular in decades past. When it was fairly common to construct your own clothes (a skill that fell off a cliff in the 1980s), these little pamphlets were freaking everywhere – from your mom’s sewing basket to the grocery store checkout aisle.
THE Dispatches team over at Channel 4 has uncovered shocking evidence of the way that Perrier is woefully overpriced, actually being more expensive than honest to goodness beer and cider. Clearly the Frenchies are simply ripping us all off:
An investigation by Channel 4’s Dispatches found three supermarket chains selling lager cheaper than sparkling Perrier water.
Tesco sold multipacks of Fosters, Carlsberg and Carling lager at 69p a pint and Strongbow cider for 65p a pint. This compared with Perrier mineral water costing 73p a pint.
In Asda, the same beers could be bought for 72p a pint, compared with 76p a pint for Perrier.
And at Sainsbury’s, 20 cans of Fosters lager was 72p a pint while 15 cans of Strongbow cost £8, equating to 69p a pint, 7p less than a pint of sparkling water.
Alternatively of course the Dispatches team are simply being dipsticks. Perrier is a luxury good: a Veblen Good even. It is in fact just water with bubbles put into it: it’s not naturally bubbly at all. And they deliberately make it and advertise it as being expensive. The point being that no one actually likes the stuff it’s just there to be expensive. So that when you buy it people can see that you’re the sort of person who buys expensive bottled water. That’s how it differentiates itself from the supermarket bottled water which is 19p for two litres in the same aisle.
THAT’S the message from a bunch of wowsing “public health” advocates. That we must immediately make sure that tobacco companies don’t continue moving into the e-cigarette market. Because, you know, umm, it’s bad. No one really manages to say why people getting their nicotine in a manner that doesn’t kill them is bad but it is bad. Trust them.
All of which is very odd indeed really. For e-cigarettes are the one thing that really works in people trying to give up smoking.
“There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.”
– Oscar Wilde
Dr. Wertham’s 1954 book, Seduction of the Innocent, was an American bestseller – it tapped into the fears of parents from sea to shining sea and led to the a frenzy of censorship in the comic book world. The irony, however, is that the book was so poorly researched, that much of its content was simply made up. Of course, the public didn’t give a baker’s f**k about facts, and Seduction of the Innocent became a sensation.
ON August 17, you can bid for an “autographed” portrait of Jesus. It’s signed “With love, J”.
Jesus signed his artwork in 1969 during his richly drawn felt tip phase.
You can bid for it at Live Auctioneers, where the nick-nacks never die.
Spotter: Christian Nightmares
THE obvious way to sell men’s clothing is to proclaim that the garments will somehow turn the average guy into an irresistible Studasaurous. From the late Sixties to early Eighties, when Baby Boomers were in their sexual prime, this marketing tactic went into hyperdrive. Boomers were ready to mate, and menswear adverts proclaimed that their apparel was the gateway to sweet, sweet lovemaking. Here are a few examples.
I HAVE to admit to being rather surprised that this isn’t in all of the newspapers instead of just one. For we journalists are notably bibulous creatures and thus the news of a hangover cure that actually works should be of great interest. Well, to those of us who write the news even if not to those who read it. And it seems that the Great British Breakfast really does beat the hangover:
Speaking ahead of the annual meeting of the international Alcohol Hangover Research Group, he said the best hangover cures are those that provide glucose.
He told The Atlantic: ‘One of the mechanisms of the hangover is to do with glucose metabolism and not having enough blood sugar.
‘In Britain, one of the most prevalent hangover cures is a big fried breakfast – fried eggs, sausages, baked beans, and all the rest – that’s well-renowned as a hangover cure in Britain, and it probably does work because there are lot of carbohydrates in that meal. And that will restore depleted sugar levels.’
IN 1934, Alexander Wiederseder recorded this architect’s nightmare on the area surrounding Los Angeles.
That dog looks like a French bulldog.
BY THE 1980s, the Baby Boomers, who had enjoyed the Sexual Revolution as trim youth, suddenly found themselves with a little extra weight as they entered their thirties. The alarm was sounded, and what followed can only be described as a cocaine-fueled mania. One manifestation of this fitness assault was an aerobics explosion. I don’t think anyone really knew what they were doing, but they looked wonderfully insane doing it.
Of course, this whole maniacal phenomenon would’ve never gotten off the ground were it not for the necessary endorsement from celebs. Jane Fonda made a mint off her workout video, but other famous names were only too quick to jump on the new trend.
IN 1987, John Ray Bohlen taught parents how to raise children in his guide How to Raise ‘Purfect’ Kids. You can read more of his wisdom on the Great Commission Ministries Website.
In this day when juvenile delinquency is rampant and broken homes are rife, here is a safe, sure, and sane —– guaruntee from God!!! Here are practical Kingdom principles on how to raise perfect children written by a couple who did!!!
In these pages, meet Joey, Kari, Dawn Joy, and Josh. They are fun loving, people loving and God loving! They are obediant, but creative; righteous but not religious; rrespectful, but not restrained.
John has yet to write a book on spelling, but he is massively popular (it says here):
John Bohlen is a person of unquestioned integrity who has dedicated his life to the fulfillment of the Great Commission. John’s message about “The King’s Greatest Secret” has blessed many throughout the United States, and his books are in great demand in Africa as well as in the United States.
Terrifying quiz from ’87 Evangelical book “How to Raise ‘Purfect’ Kids” encourages “thwacking” and dating children pic.twitter.com/mfP82sdLql
— Alan Scherstuhl (@studiesincrap) June 17, 2014
Does it work? Well, look at his kids:
Spotter: Christian Nightmares
THE problem with machines is that they’re just not as good as human beings at pattern recognition. This is true of humans looking at human faces as opposed to machines looking at them as it is of supermarket checkouts recognising coins.
And this gives the opportunity to save a bit of money: providing you’re willing to be a thief while you do so of course. For those supermarket checkouts can’t tell the difference between a 250 Iranian Rial coin, a Thai 10 Baht one, or a £2 coin. And this does make a bit of difference:
Co-Operative stores are to examine their self-service checkout systems after Morrisons banned the use of £2 coins to prevent the growing number of people paying with similar shaped foreign change.
Morrisons announced it would not accept the large bimetallic coins at self-service tills in a number of stores until the technology had been updated to recognise the fakes.
Store bosses say there has been a sharp increase in the number of customers disposing of unwanted foreign coins which are the same size as a £2 but are worth far less.
The Iranian 250 rial, which is worth just one pence, is commonly used in place of the £2 coin, as is the Thai ten baht, worth about 18p.
JLS have gocen to the EU’s Boyband silo. But you can keep the magick alive with your…
…PERSONALISED ASTON JLS BIRTHDAY BADGE /FRIDGE MAGNET/MIRRORS
TINDR and Grindr give you the clap. That, at least, is the finding of a new piece of scientific research, that using dating apps on smartphones, like Tinder or Grindr, gives you the clap. It’s not, by the way, the apps themselves that leave you with that itchy or burning sensation. Rather, that if you’re the sort of person who bunks up with anyone likely to say yes then you’re more likely to end up with the clap than those who are more discerning.
People who meet their sexual partners through dating apps are more likely to catch an STI, new research suggests.
The study found the risk is higher for those who meet people through apps than for those who meet sexual partners online or in bars and clubs.
In the last few years, smartphone apps – such as Tinder and Grindr – have become increasingly popular ways to meet potential sexual partners.
CAR crash TV:
THIS is just lovely: as a result of the taxi protests about how awful Uber is in stealing the crusts from the mouths of the poor babbies of taxi drivers there’s been a surge of interest in Uber itself. To the point that downloads of the app rose 850% over the same day a week earlier. This isn’t what those cab drivers were hoping would happen. Well, not unless they’re even more stupid than we already think they are.
Up to 10,000 taxi drivers brought gridlock to central London on Wednesday as they protested against Uber, the mobile application that has become popular in cities across Europe.
AH, Surrey, where women in white jeans and Anthea Turner hair vie for our affections with men who think Jeremy Clarkson would be a great Prime Minister. And it’s where you can move into this magnificent 1 bedroom house in West Ewell, Surrey.
Live the dream:
TO North Carolina, where the Chinquapin Water Association, aka the Chinquapin Wine Society, adds a little message on its water bills.
Just add water…
HEY, kids. Undead Ted wants to play peek-a-boo:
Buy it here.
THERE’S no better insight into the teenage girl psyche than those ubiquitous teen magazines. So, let’s step into the mind of early Seventies teenyboppers and take a look at the March 1971 issue of ‘TEEN magazine. It’s chock full groovy advertising and advice, fashion and feminine hygiene. Within its glorious pages we’ll find a plethora of mini-skirts, a cry for the whereabouts of Peter Tork, and how to look fabulous in the jungles of Vietnam. Come take a look!
DYE ADVERT – MAY CAUSE ACID FLASHBACK
This tie-dye painting in combination with that wallpaper is causing a bit of a sensory overload. While I’m sure that wall is nice while gobbling up psychedelics, it would be migraine inducing on a daily basis.