The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
AS Gideon Defoe puts it: “Jesus, this is what the Sunday Times thinks hipsters look like”. It’s Johnnis Boden and The Bodenios:
Spotter: Gideon Defoe
THE autumn has been marked by a series of panicky stories about spiders. The tabloid terror news runs in cycles: autumn: spiders; summer: sharks and foxes; winter: lice; and spring: Bill Oddie. Much has been written about the False Black Widow, a big spider that if you’re brave enough to look it in the eyes, pretends to be killer Black Widow, but is in actual fact just a domestic bug playing dress-up.
The location of the real Black Widow spider is not known. She’s missing. In the meantime, the impostor runs amuck, breaking into homes and giving the grieving Black Widow a bad name.
Adding to the spider panic, we read the story of the woman who spotted a gang of spiders in her Sainsbury’s Fair Trade bananas. Consi Taylor, 29, husband Richard and their two young children were forced to abandon their house in Hampton, south-west London. She says the beasts were Brazilian Wandering Spiders, but we’d wager they were False Widows up to their usual tricks.
THE entertainment in Cornwall pubs is niche.
At The Sportsmans Arms at Heamoor, Penzanze, the 9.30pm show features a man pooing on a table. It’s a travelling show and 30 minutes after the first performance the same man pooed on a table at Wetherspoons pub in Market Place.
FILE under Low Blood Sugar this story of the Tennessee woman who wanted her boyfriend to stop at a drive-thru McDonald’s.
Crystal Greer Brooks, 33, was in 41-year-old Santiago Hernandez truck early on Thursday morning.
WILLIAM S. Burroughs is known for his collaboration with rock musicians in the 1990s. But he had previous.
THE trouble with this Guinness advert below is the same problem facing product placement on British TV: treating the audience like idiots is not endearing. This hateful advert filled the space in Jonathan Ross’s tired ITV chatshow. Appearing in the same week as ITV’s gameshow Prize Island, the ad shows what ITV thinks of audiences.
WHO was Lou Reed was David Bowie was Debbie Harry? One Etsy has produced this epic T-shirt saluting the life of Reed, Pop and, well, insert your Seventies pop icon in the space below, in this example populated by Rod Stewart:
OBJECTS of Desire: Dan Whalen’s crafted the ear-shaped bowl, mozzarella cheese and lollipop stick earbuds and pesto sauce gunk.
DID you have a Swing Wing in the 1960s? Did you dream of rotating your head so hard that you’d take off like a space boy? Did you develop chronic neck ache in later life? Is your next three times wider than your face? Then you DID have a Swing Wing.
You know you’ve made it when you become an action figure – just ask Donny Osmond, Karl Lagerfeld, Donald Trump, Princess Diana, Tori Spelling, Vanilla Ice and William Shakespeare.
PEOPLE have long moaned that, now we live in the future, where are our hoverboards? Well, glad you asked because some bright spark has decided to do something about it!
ZBoard have been inspired by the hoverboard in Back to the Future and manufactured a hi-tech weight sensing electric skateboard, which has the same design as the board Marty McFly rode.
The limited edition board uses a pressure pad on the front which allows you to move without ever needing to put your feet on the ground and can manage 20 miles of electrically-assisted skateboarding.
LADIES Room is a flies-on-the-wall look at what goes on on the ladies’ room.
THERE are times when the Guardian manages to out-Guardian even itself. The last time was over the idea that the meerkat adverts are in fact racist: something which even the readers of the paper didn’t think was a likely result. Today’s example comes in a column about an ad that Marco Pierre White did for Knorr. Basically making Jamaican chicken with peas and rice by adding a couple of stock cubes to some rice, chicken and peas.
OK, it’s a pretty dreadful version of the dish but still, this is the final verdict from The G on why this is so appalling:
Beneath the tears of laughter at the hilarity of the video was the palpable and justified anger at an attempt to disregard the expertise behind Jamaican cooking. The community’s outrage at the hot mess cobbled together by MPW as “Jamaican-style” is however not just about the misrepresentation of their culinary skills. The evident lack of respect, mingled with an intention to create a marketable product was another example of cultural appropriation for wider consumption.
GREAT Halloween Costumes: The Human Centipede. More on the film of the costume here.
TO Wigan for the Best Bar None awards at the DW Stadium. Run by Wigan Council and the emergency services, the awards seek to make Wigan safer with awards:
Best Bar None is a national award scheme for licensed premises – rewarding pubs, bars and nightclubs that provide good management, a safe and enjoyable environment for customers…
It encourages licensees to act responsibly and take pride in their premises and surroundings and, in doing so, put something back into the town and their local community.
The biggest winners are residents and visitors to Wigan, who are able to reap the rewards of a town centre and borough that is more welcoming, attractive, lively and above all safe.
Inevitably, a fight broke out. There was not an award for the best fighting pub.
Do you sell bricks?
The police tell us:
Don’t throw eggs or flour – it’s classed as a criminal offence and you will be arrested!
No mention of bricks. Or elephants? Or plebs:
FOOTBALLERS, bless ‘em, haven’t worked out the ideal formula involving brains, fashion and money. Everyone remembers Liverpool’s white FA Cup suits and eyebrows were raised when Davey Beckham wore a sarong… and not as many remember John Barnes’ ‘bird shit jacket’ he wore as a presenter on Channel 5.
However, the worst decisions footballers make tend to involve their hair. And in the Premier League, we’ve been blessed with some players who make mystifying decisions.
Here, we look at some of the ones you may have forgotten.
“I HAVE already complained to the manager about the reduction in organic produce,” says Hampstead resident Jenny Anderson of the absence of organic stuff at her Tesco supermarket. “It used to be quite prominent, but I feel they have steadily been withdrawing the high-end organic and good quality foods over the last few months.
“Also the organic stuff they do sell is being hidden away so it’s really hard to find. It feels like they are hiding it away so no one will buy it, and then they can justify not selling it.”
IS it any good, then?