Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 6

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

For sale: kinky pagan leggings with hoofs

hoof boots 3

 

Blair Ondria’s Etsy shop Chaos Costume gives you the chance to dress like an extra from the Lion The Witch & The Wardrobe. 

“The construction of these hooves will be of high strength resin fused to a heelless 4 inch shoes. The arch is rigid plastic, and does not bend, so it keeps that beautiful silhouette, effortlessly.”

 

Are they comfortable?

Q: How hard are these to walk in?
A: Not very – if you’ve walked in stiletto heels, it’s about like that. They are very easy to move in, and do not roll-back easily.

Tails are optional.

 

hoof boots 4

 

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Posted: 20th, August 2015 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal Balls: Gunners buy Benzema and his diamond ball

benzema diamond ballThe news cycle whirls with what might be the most specious football story of the year. The Sydney Morning Herald tells us:
Arsenal target Karim Benzema spends a fortune on a diamond ball
To which you can only wonder what he plans to kick it with. Solid gold boots would be too soft. How about  goethite, a material found in the mouths of limpets? Sure millions of the creatures would have to die to enable Benzema to work on his ball skills but it’s surely what they would have wanted.
The story continues:
If Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema makes his much-speculated move to English Premier League giants Arsenal, he could bring with him his new prized possession, a $340,000 soccer ball. The 27-year-old French goal-scorer, who has been on the Gunners’ hit-list for months, reportedly purchased the 1,250 carat ball encrusted with 72,000 diamonds from a celebrity jeweller.
Fair enough. It’s his money. We only hope he writes his name on it lest it get muddled up with everyone else’s when he check into the Emirates.

Update: Every paper says Benzema has agreed to join Arsenal for £45m.

Posted: 20th, August 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The saddest aisle in the supermarket (photo)

The saddest aisle in the supermarket

 

This is the saddest aisle in the supermarket.

Spotter: @TechnicallyRon

Posted: 19th, August 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Video: how to make a frisbee into a lethal weapon

 

Now to get a Hard Ticket to Hawaii – scroll down for the killer frisbee.

Spotter: b3ta

Posted: 18th, August 2015 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Design fail: University of North Texas coffee mug

university of texas coffee mug

 

 

Spotter: $10, Karen!

Posted: 15th, August 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Splorch: enlarge your sex life with a rubber ovipositor (Video)

An ovipositor is an “organ used by some animals for the laying of eggs”. And you can buy one made from a veiny rubber.

 

ovipositor

 

It’s called the ‘Splorch’:

 

 

Spotter: JWZ

Posted: 7th, August 2015 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jo Malone does more in 25 minutes that you’d want to do in a day

Jo Malone beauty regimeHow does Jo Malone “get ready” to go out? She tells the Guardian that her regime take 25 minutes.

I multitask. I’ll make a face mask, jump into the bath with my favourite Pomelo bath cologne and, yes, I always light a candle. I like a glass of wine, too – there is a pink called Whispering Angel that comes in tiny bottles, so I can have just a glass. I’ll put some oil – either jojoba or vitamin E – on my hands and feet: nothing looks worse than dry feet if you’re wearing sandals.

Who ran the bath? How big is the bath? Is it a bird bath? Can she make a face mask faster than Zorro?

I’ll get out of the bath and my skin will be moisturised because of the mask, which I clear off with a warm face towel. I pop Vaseline round my eyebrows, then quickly dye them so they look dark – leave it on too long and you look as though you’ve two caterpillars above your eyes.

I lay out what I am going to wear. I love a chic, well-fitting black tie trouser suit with drop diamonds, my vintage gold Prada shoes and a simple black evening bag.

At this point I have a cup of tea and a baked potato or toasted ham and cheese.

Baked. Or raw?

Then I’ll pop in my gum shields with toothpaste bleach mixed with Colgate and leave for 10 minutes…. Because my hair often drops, I’ll zhush it up with my rotating brush.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup but I do wear MAC base and put on false eyelashes, blusher and lip gloss. I paint Pomelo fragrance on to my body with a brush and let it dry…

Watch painted body dry.

…then do a second layer.

Twice.

Then I’ll get dressed and spray whatever I am wearing with the same fragrance, and I am ready to go.

Next week, Jo makes a six-course meal for 10 in 15 minutes.

Posted: 7th, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Penis biscuits: St Patrick’s Day cookie cutter promises golden rain at the ends of the rainbow

fussy pup
The FussyPup offers you the chance to buy this St Patrick’s Day Cookie Cutter –  a “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow”.

.

Kimberly Wolfe, one of the proprietors of TheFussyPup, has it pointed out to her that the cookie cutter looks like a knob:

“One pointed out its resemblance to the male organ. We had a little giggle and dismissed the thought. While making adult theme cookie cutters isn’t our main goal, we are happy to provide cookie cutters for any occasion—and we love to see the creativity of our customers! Now if only someone would send me a picture of the results!”

 

Spotter: Fastcompany.com

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Posted: 5th, August 2015 | In: Key Posts, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amazon gives free buzzing dildo with children’s sandals

Shoe box

In the box

Anyone still too shy to buy a dildo should know that Amazon offers shoppers a free vibrator with pairs of children’s sandals. You just have to select the right brand, which is not all that subtly called PRIMIGI.

Sophie Grantham, 36, didn’t know of the special offer until she took delivery of a pair of said sandals and spotted the five-inch purple Durex vibrator in the box.

Sophie, of Whiteley, Hampshire, explains:

“The parcel was vibrating so the postman made a comment about it maybe being a toothbrush. I was absolutely horrified to find there was this purple vibrator, loose and buzzing about in the shoebox. I don’t know what happened, but it’s not on.”

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Posted: 16th, July 2015 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Edinson Cavani’s anus is immortalised as a door bell

cavani-doorbell-poke1
Chile’s semi-final victory over Uruguay in the quarter-finals of the Copa America featured Gonzalo Jara sticking a signer into Edison Cavani’s backside.

Uruguay’s Cavani reacted by slapping Jara across the face – an act that earned up a second yellow card.

But now you can relive the incident with this delightful doorbell.

Proctologists may prefer to knock.

Spotter: @ReaccionFut

Posted: 10th, July 2015 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Playable tortilla records for your turntables

tortilla records

 

Someone at Rapture Records saw the video of someone “playing” a tortilla and created tortillas records.

The tortillas are, of courses, raw. The grooves are laser cut.

 

tortilla records

 

 

Make your own here.

Posted: 8th, July 2015 | In: Music, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


American Society of Parasitologists parasite playing cards

playing cards parasites

 

At the American Society of Parasitologists AGM, attendees are each given a set of parasite-themed playing cards into their conference goody bags.

 

The lucky attendees at this year's meeting of the American Societe of Parasitologists got a gorgeous deck of parasite-themed playing cards into their conference bags.  Don't worry: if these ever go into wide production, I'll definitely be posting about it here.

 

Spotter: April Mendis, BB

Posted: 27th, June 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Can’t fight this eeling: greeting cards for fishy people

Blue Specs Sudio is selling these cards on a fishy theme:

fish cards 20

 

fish cards 2 fish cards 1 fish cards fish crds

Spotter: I sea what you did there.

 

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Posted: 24th, June 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fun with child death and lice with these 10 Plagues Seder Night masks

It’s Seder Night, when Jews recall Passover and the plagues sent down on the house of Egypt to help along their emancipation from slavery. As dad reads out the story, the cool kids can play along by wearing one of 10 masks, each one representing a plague. “Bagsy, Death to the ‘First Born’,” says Junior, the rascal. Others can enjoy ‘Blood’, ‘Boils’, ‘Lice’ and ‘Darkness’.

The whole set is yours for a mere $14.99 at Bed Bath and Beyond.

But be warned: these mask are only suitable for over 3s lest there be a new plague of ‘Choking’.

 

seder night masks

 

 

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Posted: 23rd, June 2015 | In: Key Posts, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Trigger Warning: free speech is being attacked and downgraded in Anglo-American culture, says Mick Hume

Trigger Warning sm

 

Anorak asked journalist Mick Hume about his new book, which looks at the highly topical issue of free speech…

 

Your new book is entitled ‘Trigger Warning’. For those not familiar with the phrase, could you explain its origin and its relevance?

A ‘trigger warning’ is a statement stuck at the beginning of a piece of writing, video or whatever to alert you to the fact that it contains material you may find upsetting or offensive. For example, ‘TW: Islamophobic language’, or ‘TW: references to sexual violence’.

Trigger Warnings took off in US colleges (where student activists want classic works to carry them, suggesting for example that The Great Gatsby should have one along the lines of ‘TW: suicide, domestic abuse and graphic violence’). They have since spread across the Atlantic and the internet. If you are not familiar with ‘TWs’, they are coming soon to a website near you.

For me the mission creep of trigger warnings symbolises the stultifying atmosphere surrounding freedom of expression and debate today. They are like those ‘Here be dragons’ signs on uncharted areas of old maps, warning students and others not to take a risk, not to step off the edge of their comfort zone, not to expose themselves to ‘uncomfortable’ ideas, images or opinions.

 

What is the book about?

The sub-title of the book rather gives the game away: ‘Is the fear of being offensive killing free speech?’ To which its unsurprising answer is yes, unless we do something about it.

Trigger Warning is about all the various ways in which free speech is being attacked and downgraded in Anglo-American culture today. It describes ‘the silent war on free speech’. It’s a silent war because nobody in politics or public life admits that they are against freedom of expression; all of them will make ritualistic displays of support for it ‘in principle’, as they did after the Charlie Hebdo massacre. In practice, however, they are all seeking ways to restrict freedom of expression, whilst insisting that ‘this is not a free speech issue’, it is merely an attempt to protect the ‘vulnerable’ against offensive and hateful words.

To that end, the book examines the complementary trends towards official censorship, unofficial censorship and self-censorship in the West today, covering everything from online ‘trolls’ to football and comedy as well as more conventional political issues.

Of these three, the most insidious is the informal, unofficial censorship promoted by Twitter mobs and assorted boycott-and-ban-happy zealots. They are a relatively small minority, but they exercise disproportionate influence by preying on the loss of faith in free speech at the top of our societies.

I describe these people as ‘reverse-Voltaires’, who have taken the famous principle linked to Voltaire – ‘I may hate what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it’ – and twisted it into its opposite – ‘I know I will detest what you say, and I will defend to the end of free speech my right to stop you saying it’. They do not want to debate arguments they disagree with, but merely to close them down as offensive. Trigger Warning takes on their most powerful excuses in a section entitled ‘Five good reasons for restricting free speech – and why they’re all wrong’.

 

What is the main message of the book?

The main message of the book – and I fear it is a ‘message’ book, or ‘polemic’ as we pretentious authors say – is twofold, I suppose. That we have forgotten how important the fight for free speech has been in the creation of something approximating a civilised society, and that we are in danger of giving it up without a struggle. It is not so much that we are losing the free speech wars: we are not even fighting them!

Few of the great advances in politics, science and culture over the past 500 years would have been possible without the expansion of free speech and the willingness of heroic heretics to question everything and break taboos. None of the liberation movements of the recent past could have succeeded without putting the right to free speech at the forefront of their campaigns (which makes it all the more bitterly ironic to see restrictions on free speech being demanded today in the name of protecting the oppressed).

Free speech was never a right to be won once and then put on a shelf to be admired. It always has to be defended again, against new challenges and enemies. The big danger today is that so few are standing up for unfettered free speech against the reverse-Voltaires and their like. Where are the young Tom Paines, JS Mills, John Wilkes’ or George Orwells of our age? Instead we have characters like the US liberal professor who just wrote a (pseudonymous) article about how he is too ‘terrified’ of his ‘liberal’ students to raise a potentially offensive idea or even ask them to read Mark Twain. Time to take a stand before it’s too late.

 

You have been outspoken about the right to offend. But some people seem to believe they have a duty to offend, and we have seen public examples of this recently. How does your opinion differ from theirs?

I have been writing about the right to be offensive for some 25 years, since the crisis over Salman Rushdie’s The Satanic Verses. It is the cutting edge of free speech. After all, what use is it is we are only ‘free’ to say what everybody else might like? If we defend free speech for those views branded extreme and offensive, the mainstream will look after itself. This is not about offensive language, but opinions – as JS Mill pointed out long ago, the more powerful your opponent’s arguments are, the more offensive you tend to find them!

The importance of that issue was brought into sharp focus by the reaction to the Charlie Hebdo massacre of course. As the book describes, behind the apparent displays of Je Suis Charlie solidarity, the powerful message was that those cartoonists had gone ‘too far’ in offending Islam. Those gunmen might have been inspired by Islamist preachers, but they can only have been encouraged by the loss of faith in free speech at the heart of Western culture.

None of this means, as you mention, that anybody has a duty to offend. The right to be offensive is not an obligation. One problem today is that the response to the conformist culture of You-Can’t-Say-That tends to be a few comedians and others trying to cause offence for the sake of it. That’s infantile and useless. As William Hazlitt wrote, ‘An honest man speaks the truth, though it may cause offence, a vain man, in order that it may”. A good distinction, so long as we remember that the vain man gets the freedom to speak his version of the truth, too.

Trigger Warning: Is the Fear of Being Offensive Killing Free Speech? is published by Collins.

Mick was answering questions put to him by Ed Barrett

Posted: 17th, June 2015 | In: Books, Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0