We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
RealDoll’s take one helluva pounding. And Slade’s job is to go in there and make the rough, broken and chaffed smoother than a rubber glove.
Slade works with Matt McMullen, creator of Abyss Creations, located in Southern California.
“The original concept I had was actually not a sex toy at all,” says McMullen… “It was intended to be a poseable mannequin, or simply a form of art.” He quickly noticed that a lot of people saw the dolls in an erotic way. The company makes about 300 RealDolls each year. A standard-issue model sells for $6,500, while a meticulously customized one can go for as much as $50,000.
Slade replaces the damaged vagina, which looks like this:
Fiero traces his interest in dolls to playing with G.I. Joes and Barbie in his youth.
“I was born in 1960 so Joe was the guy I got to hang out with for those formative years.”
“Slade has a very important place in the doll world,” says Elena Dorfman, a photographer who documented that world in her 2005 book Still Lovers. “People are sending him their beloved—or at least a sex partner that they paid a lot of money for. They’re trusting him to fix her. It’s like sending someone you love to the doctor and hoping they’ll come out all right.”
Silicone RealDoll sex doll faces receive teeth at the Abyss Creations factory on February 5, 2004 in San Marcos, California. RealDolls are created using Hollywood special effects technology and have orifices made of a special soft grade of silicone for people who want to ‘enhance their sex lives’, according to Abyss Creations literature. Standard female models sell for about $6000, males for $7000, and are sold only over the Internet. ‘Shemales’ and other special orders are also available. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)
Slade has tips:
“If you care for it, if you treat it right, you can crank her knees up to her shoulders and bang away at that doll with good hard intercourse and come out shining. But clean her out… Clean her off. If you’ve got a hairy chest, you’re going to leave hairs all over her. If you’ve got a cat, she’s going to pick up cat hair. You want to take care of what you’ve got.”
The customers might be registered:
“I had one guy from Berkeley who had sex so hard with his doll that he ripped the leg off it. The doll was less than a year old, and destroyed. Her calves, from below the knee, had what looked almost like knife puncture wounds. Hundreds of them. I don’t know what this guy was doing to this doll.”
Has Slade ever been tempted to road test his repair:
“I’m not going to be fucking dolls and shipping them to other people. That’s fuckin’ rude. What kind of businessman would I be if I did that?”
Hey, you, skinny!. Yeah, you. It’s time to get ripped, man. You need a muscles that draw you skin tighter than a Hollywood wife’s smile. But you’re too lazy and weak to work out. So why not step inside a Lean Muscle Suit?
Public Health UK take note: granola bars in Texas come with free cocaine.
“It’s a somewhat disturbing case,” says Sgt. Javier Salazar of the San Antonio Police Department. “You think of a child getting a hold of a package that’s got interesting symbols on it, dollar signs in this case, and ingesting something like cocaine that could have a possibly dangerous effect, maybe even deadly on a child.”
We’re celebrating the launch of Green & Black’s THIN Dark 70% with Michel Roux Jr, Tom Kitchin, Emilia Fox, and sisters Jasmine and Melissa Hemsley, as they talk about their love of food through the lens of colour.
You go down the list under a few celebs says ‘yes’:
I got given a selfie stick and found it to be very good at lying around the place as clutter. Far better is Aric Snee and Justin Crowe’s Selfie Arm. This way you can look as if all your friends are not in the photo- or you;re haning out with Thing.
Good news, deadsters. You can carry on shagging after you’ve stopped breathing. Mark Sturkenboom’s “21 grams memory box” has a box for the widow or widower in need of company. It contains: a diffuser for the deceased’s perfume, an iPod dock to play “your” songs, a necklace on which to keep the key and an urn shaped like a dildo ready on contain 21 grammes of the dead lover’s red-hot ashes.
“I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she has an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband. She always speaks with so much love about him but the jar he was in didn’t reflect that at all.”
Jordan Henderson has penned a new five-year deal to play for Liverpool. Good news for Liverpool fans. And at £100,0o0-a-week, it’s good news for Henderson, who will just be able to afford a season ticket at top-flight boxing. (Tickets for the Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao’s fight are yours for £100,000 each. It makes £60 to watch your team play Arsenal at the Emirates look like a steal.)
Writing in the Times, Giles Smith wonders if Henderson is going to re-sign for another of his clients: Nivea.
…a deal that has already yielded comedy gold. Indeed, if there was a Bafta for Best Look To Camera By A Footballer In A Narrative-Based Commercial (and now there should be), Henderson would have swept it away for a lifetime.
Things Found In Food spots a sink plug in a salad.
The diner at Brisbane, Australia’s Hog’s Breath Cafe got an old plug in her salad. You have to wonder what vegetable the chef thinks the plug resembles?
The eatery’s ggeneral manager Ross Worth offers up an explanation:
“Food hygiene is a top priority for the company. The plug came from a sanitised ice food bath that was designated for fresh produce such as lettuce and tomatoes to be washed in. On that day the staff members have pulled fresh produce out of the bath and accidently pulled the plug with it. The business owner has re-trained his staff on the right processes to make sure this doesn’t ever happen again. As for the customer’s complint that kitchen staff thought it was funny I can’t comment if they were laughing – I would guess not.It’s not a laughing matter, and I’d like to think they wouldn’t laugh.”
The Woodlands, a master-planned suburb of Houston established in 1974, was the bleeding edge of quantified smart homes, as each unit was wired and connected. The monitoring was still external then, the way pacemakers originally were.
The Woodlands is still there. And you could be there, too. This 2014 video is by The Woodlands Development Company:
For some time now our happy island nation has, slowly but surely, been invaded by an uninvited and unwelcome breed.
This is nothing to do with immigration, asylum-seekers, refugees, the EU or any of the other supposed threats that exercise the newspapers at election time.
No, this is an insidious invasion that has targeted our TV screens, and in particular the advertisements, ‘trails’ and promotional montages that seem to take up as much time as the programmes they punctuate…
The invaders are instantly recognizable by their distinctive singing style: breathy, slightly flat, sometimes with an ‘emotive’ crack in the voice. Their songs are, variously: drippy, dippy, dull and dreary. They are invariably accompanied by willfully amateurish acoustic guitar. This formula is used to advertise everything from white goods to Barclays’ revolting ‘thank you’ to ‘real football fans’.
Do you like slow tea? Do you like your tea to seep in the manner of sloth sweat (which is very hard stuff to find)? foodiggity has created these sloth tea bags.
“Live slow die whenever,” says the sloth as he’s lowered bum-first into a boiling hot cup of water. For ‘whenever’ read ‘soon’ as the perforations let the steming brew flood in and the flavour flood out…
Want to eat your face in chocolate egg form? Bompas & Parr have news:
Just in time for Easter, Bompas & Parr invites you to explore the possibilities of the world’s first anatomical Easter eggs – in the shape of your own face! Eat My Face is a hands-on-face service that will see us create an exact mould of you or your child, mistress or dog’s face for that matter, in chocolate.
By using the latest facial-scanning and 3D-printing technology and employing our expertise honed in jelly mould-making, we are able to create a perfect mould of anyone’s face which can then be used to create an iconic chocolate egg form.
Irony overload in the Daily Mail, which brings news that an advert by fashion company American Apparel has had “ANOTHER advert banned, this time for ‘too sexy’ photos of underage-looking model in thong bodysuit”.
The Daily Mail hates looking at sexualised underage girls and ogling them. You can see how much it hates leering at underage girls here, here, here,here, here and here.
So, how does it choose to illustrate this apparent horror? Why, by publishing a photo of the American Apparel advert and zooming on the model’s primary sexual characteristics: