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The Consumer

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Ahmed Angel might be the world’s greatest male model (epic photos)

AHMED Angel might be the world’s greatest male model. An international icon, Ahmed speaks Arabic, English, Russian and French.

ahmed angel 11

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Posted: 13th, May 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts | Comment


The Coca Cola Swastika

coca cola lucky swastika

IN 1925, the Swastika was the symbol of go-ahead, thrusting futurism.  Coca Cola tapped into the feel-good factor with its Swastika watch fob bearing the legend: “Drink Coca Cola five cents in bottles.” The fob was 4cm squared and made in brass.

 

Posted: 12th, May 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comments (2)


In photos: the stars’ hilarious punk outfits at the Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum

TO the Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum – New York. The theme was Punk: Chaos to Couture. Whoah! Punk, you say. All bullet-hard leather jackets, super-glue hair and snot. The A-list artistes would do counterculture and DIY fashion. Would any be brave enough for a Nazi helmet? Well, no. This is what punk looks like when you hire a stylist to dress you as one. It’s like watching a Hampshire golf club putting on a performance of Derek Jarman’s Jubilee:

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Madonna attends the 'Punk': Chaos to Couture' Costume Institute Benefit Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum in New York.

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Posted: 11th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment


‘Ralph is a Dick’: man receives abusive dildo from tractor company

hate dildo
THE message on the dildo is clear:  “Ralph Is A Dick!!” and “Tractor Supply. Don’t come back!!”
Who posted the hate dildo to Ralph Polnicky? He points the finger at the  Tractor Supply in Shawnee, Oklahoma, with whom he had argued. Says Mr Polnicky:

“We were aghast, I mean, we were absolutely shocked by what’s in this box. My wife was, just, ‘Oh my God! What, who is this? What do they want? What are they going to do next?’”

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Posted: 9th, May 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Canadian company sells cheese, gravy and chip fat soft drink

jones soda poutine copy

YUM! Canada’s Jones Soda is releasing a Poutine flavoured beverage. Poutine is a mixture of chips, beef gravy and white cheddar cheese:

“We recognize the buzz we receive when we launch fun flavours like Turkey and Gravy Jones Soda and Bacon Jones Soda,” commented Andrew Baumann, Jones Soda’s Marketing & Social Media Manager. “With continued requests for these past flavours and calls to keep coming out with more, we decided to create this new, unique flavour as a nod to our Canadian heritage. With a nice balance of rich, savory gravy over a starchy potato base, and accented with those fatty, cheesy notes you expect in a plate of poutine, we believe we’ve developed the perfect liquid version of this undisputedly Canadian delicacy.”

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Posted: 8th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Survive magnetic pole shift, 500lb hailstones and nuclear war in a Hardened Structure

surive 2

LIKE you, we too are worried. Will our Hardened Structures 2012 Shelter be enough in 2013?

The 2012 Shelter was fine for arcane 2012:

Threat Assessment: While the shelter will be designed and constructed to mitigate the anticipated effects of 12/21/2012, no one knows for certain what, if anything will actually occur on this date. However, most engineers and scientists agree that for a fully protected 2012 shelter the following threats must be mitigated;

3-Bars Blast Overpressure of 45 psi
Force 10 Earthquake in successions
450 MPH winds
Extreme Gamma & Neutron attenuation from a 100 megaton air burst detonated 20 miles away
Solar Flares with 1,000,000 volt EMP
Flooding (complete submersion for 100 hours)
Extreme External Fires at 1250 F for 10 days
Magnetic Pole Shift
Radiological, Chemical and Biological Weapons
Forced Entry and Armed Assaults
12’ of snow and 10’ of rain
500 lb Hail Stones or flying debris at a speed of 100 mph

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Posted: 7th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Jeweller sells “ARSE” diamond and silver necklaces for Mother’s Day

brombergs

BROMBERG’S, Alabama’s  jewellers of distinction, has the ideal Mother’s Day gift to hang on your mum’s “ARSE”. Or why not give it a bridesmaid..?

 

Posted: 7th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Epic adverts: David’s Pizza

pizza ad

EPIC adverts: David’s Pizza:

Posted: 6th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Churchtanks: Churches turned into weapons of mass destruction (photos)

ONWARD Christian soldiers…  Artist Kris Kuksi’s Churchtanks sculptures change churches into tanks. It’s a process that requires countless hours to assemble, collect, manipulate, cut, and re-shape thousands of individual parts, finally uniting them into an orchestral-like seamless cohesion that defines the historical rise and fall of civilization and envisions the possible future(s) of humanity.” 

Fire (and brimstone) at will.

church tanks 1

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Posted: 4th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Shanghai butcher sold mink, rat and fox as lamb

rat meat

GOOD news for the fur industry and possibly Tesco and Findus: the meat by-products taste like lamb.

The South China Morning Post’s report from Shanghai is that people choosing to eat lamb could well have been chomping down on rat, fox or mink. But not all of the meats is so easy to identify.

Says the Ministry of Public Security:

“Since 2009, the suspect, surnamed Wei, has bought foxes, minks, rats and other uninspected meat products in Shandong. After adding gelatine, carmine, nitrate and other substances, he sold the meat as fake lamb rolls [for hot pot] at farmers’ markets in Jiangsu and Shanghai.”

Police raided Wei’s operation, seizing 10 tons of meat and “additives“.

Yummy! Now for the mane course…

Posted: 4th, May 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Primark boasted that it audited its factories before the Savar factory disaster

Primark protest

PRIMARK, the highly profitable budget fashion retailer owned by Associated British Foods, has vowed to compensate loved ones of the 350 people killed when the Savar clothing factory collapsed in Dhaka,Bangladesh. Primark said it “accepts all its responsibilities in this disaster”. 

Back on February 21, Retail Week reported on Primark. When the horse meat scandal topped the news cycle, Primark’s Katherine Kirk, Primark’s ethical trading director spoke:

“I agree with the principle of sharing information, which we do through the Better Work Programme, but the issue with other programmes and audits, as we’ve lived and learned, is that if a supplier has paid for an audit it might not have as much detail as one we are paying for ourselves.”

Primark, which previously suffered exposés on alleged poor working practices in its supply chain, has dramatically stepped up monitoring of its suppliers since 2009 when it appointed Kirk. She has built up a team of 30 staff working on ethical trade in Bangladesh, China, India and Turkey. They carry out factory audits of all suppliers before Primark places an order.

Using its own team gives Primark faith in assessments and allows it to immediately tackle any problems.

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Posted: 4th, May 2013 | In: Fashion, Reviews | Comment


In 1977 Stars Wars characters and Vogue magazine models advertised the wonder of fur coats

IN 1977. Vogue magazine hooked onto the Star Wars craze with a feature called THE FORCE OF FUR: Vogue fashion spread from 1977. Jerry Hall, Darth Vader, C3PO, Stormtroopers and Jawas real;sied that with fur comes intergalactic harmony.

In the first picture, Hall is wearing a Wookie:

 

star war vogue 1977

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Posted: 3rd, May 2013 | In: Fashion, Film, Flashback | Comment (1)


The 10 worst Star Wars adverts of all time

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 27/12/1977

HAPPY Star Wars Day! In honour of May the Fourth, we’ve got a Star Wars tattoo, sent out Star Wars cards, created some homemade outfits, mashed-up Withnail & I, remembered Bob Anderson, checked out the working of George Lucas’s robots, mashed-up Disney, flicked through the great Japanese movie posters, rolled a joint with Darth, rocked out to the Droids, gone looking for work with an Ewok, dressed in a saucy R2D2 outfit, got a glow-in-the-dark Yoda tattootriggered a race war, bought the 1977 empty box and watched the Stars Wars crew flog us all manner of crap:

 

Chewbacca goes nutzoid for chicken of the sea

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Posted: 3rd, May 2013 | In: Film, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Epic adverts: Cullman liquidation of Alabama

epic adverts

CULLMAN Liquidation is a company you can trust.

We buy, sell and move mobile homes, and we have been doing it for 16+ years.

To Alabama:

Posted: 3rd, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Zombie Thatcher – the book of Maggie in the afterlife

BOOK of the day: Zombie Thatcher by Bronwen Winter Phoenix (Author), Al Terry (Illustrator):

thatcher zombie

 

Posted: 3rd, May 2013 | In: Books, Politicians | Comment


Woman finds slice of multi-grain bread inside tobacco pouch

brown bread

JESSICA Fairbairn found a slice of multi-grain bread in a 30g pouch of Port Royal tobacco purchased from the Countdown store in Massey, Auckland, New Zealand.

Brown bread. Might this be a play on rhyming slang and a statement on anti-smoking: brown bread means dead?

Says her mother Emma:

“It looked like Molenberg. It was folded in half, still fresh without any mould or anything. It was totally bizarre.”

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Posted: 3rd, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


John Lennon Jewelry on QVC is what he would have wanted

imagine john lennon jewelry

JOHN Lennon Jewelry on QVC is what he would have wanted. I particularly like the woman telling her kids “Imagine there’s no Heaven”, and them answering: “But you told us there was! LIAR!”

Posted: 2nd, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment


American shirt can be worn for 100 days: Britons remain sewn into their underwear

Wool-Prince 100

FASHION company Wool&Prince claims you can wear their shirts for 100 days straight and still feel fresher than a daisy in Will Smith’s hair.

Wool&Prince founder “Mac” wore his company’s shirt for 100 days and felt fine. No washing. No ironing.

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Posted: 2nd, May 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


Bill Roache once created this boardgame called LIBEL

libel game bill roache

BILL Roache, the Coronation Street star in the mire for alleged sex abuse. He denies raping a 15-year-old in 1967. He has been charged with two counts of rape of a 15-year-old girl in 1967. So much for the facts. And all had best stick to them. Mr Roache is an expert in libel, once devising a board game called Libel.

Devised by William Roache after he sued the Sun for printing a defamatory article about his portrayal of Ken Barlow. The game ‘guides players through the quicksand of assembling a full team of legal advisers in order to proceed to a full trial’. An entertaining and educational game for all the family to enjoy.

It was, predictably, a flop. But Roache did win £50,000 in damages from the Sun who wrongly called him “boring“.

Image spotter

Posted: 2nd, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment


Toys: in 1992, Barbie’s sister Judith gave birth to a spring-loaded baby

pregnant barbie spring copy

“IF only childbirth were that easy! Vintage mommy-to-be doll has spring-loaded baby and belly that is INSTANTLY flat afterwards,” reports Margo Peppers for the Daily Mail.

Good to see the Mail supporting single mums. ‘Judith’ Barbie is, of course, unmarried. And Ken, has no penis. The 1992 baby was a result of Barbie’s lesbian relationship with Sindy. The sperm was harvested from one of these swine. (Any similarities to Victoria Beckham are entirely coincidental.)

(Nowadays Barbie’s tum-tum has no room for a baby.)

50 things you never knew about Barbie.

Posted: 2nd, May 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


Willard Wigan’s Golden Journey: artist makes a gold motorbike sculpted inside a hollowed out speck of stubble

WILLARD Wigan MBE creates small works of art.

Willard’s micro-sculptures are now so minute that they are only visible through a microscope. Each piece commonly sits within the eye of a needle, or on a pin head. 

He’s just created his smallest work to date: a golden motorbike inside a spot of his stubble.

WILLARD Wigan bike

 

 

“I made the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party in the eye of a needle”

WILLARD Wigan bike 1

 

 

“This time I’ve taken it a million steps further. I wanted to challenge myself to see how small I could really go.”

WILLARD Wigan bike 2

 

 

“I put my finger beneath the microscope. And I had a look. And I saw the finest hairs – stubble – in between my finger print.”

WILLARD Wigan bike 3

 

 

“So. I took the hair out. I used very fine tools and some gold. And I drilled a hole in the middle of the hair and hollowed out the hair, which is painstaking… Well, it drove me insane… I made the hole transparent. And inside it I made a golden motorbike. “

WILLARD Wigan bike 5

 

It’s called The Golden Journey.

Posted: 2nd, May 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Customer sends Greater Anglia trains complaint letter in form of a suppository

LETTER of the day is a complaint to Greater Anglia trains. It’s in the form of a suppository, for easy of insertion:

Greater Anglia trains

 

Posted: 1st, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)