NEVER again need you be unprepared at the beach or pool. When the hot weather hits, you can strip off your ComfiSlax ans showcase your CUW JeanPants Underwear *. These snug cotton boxer shorts look like a pair of very tight jean cutoff shorts. You’re the Duke in Daisy.
* Also worked for Aussie Rules!
YEARS before the Sun crested the “News in Briefs” Page 3 feature, US cupcake magazine Pose introduced its readers to the ladies’ speech bubbles.
THE Oscars 2013 – who wore what. Nicole Kidman cam dressed as a Dubai beach oil slick; Jessica Chatain looked Hollywood fabulous; Charlize Theron looked elegant; Adele looked meh; Jennifer Aniston had channeled her personality into her dress (dullsville); Bradley Cooper’s mum wore Ostrich by Bernie Clifton; Naomi Watts’ dress was unfinished; Catherine Zeta Jones wore a face that makes an Oscar look pot-marked; and Anne Hathaway has a tissue tucked in somewhere:
IN May 2012, Patricia Krentril was arrested in New Jersey for taking her 5-year-old daughter to a tanning salon, where she was burnt. Krentil, who looks George Hamilton’s portrayal of Geppetto’s Mr. Hankey, became a star. In May of that year, Patty Baked swore of tanning. Well, she agreed to take the challenge issued by In Touch magazine and abstain from UV rays for 30 days. Sure, she still used Jergens self-tanner and told us “I feel weird and pale”, but she did it. But now she’s back. And the Sun says she heading to the UK – in search of a tan!
(After which she will head to the Himalayas in search of the Abominable Snowman; Loch Ness in search of a Monster; and Mecca in search for a bacon roll.)
Says Patty Baked:
“I was born to tan — and there is nothing like the colour that you get from a sunbed. But in the past year I have been banned from tanning salons. Now I have to spend hours covering myself in tanning lotion to get the colour I want.”
FOR sale on eBay: 1930s/1940s Vintage French Knickers Silk and Lace x x ** The knickers appear to be second hand, at least. What might be more refreshing is the model doing her bit to undermine modern idea of beauty. Seller TanyaWilliams69 is every inch the natural woman. As she says:
My pictures have no sexual intent and are purely for the purpose of showing any potential buyers what the item looks like worn
THEY said it would be glamorous: the reigning Miss Sheffield, Jade Mellows aged 21, models a dress adorned with real, cooked chips mark the launch of Chip Week:
WITH names like Adam, Bachelor, Caper, Cavalier, Click, Dude, Duke, Frolic, Knight, Nugget, Rake, Scamp and Stingers, American adult magazines in the 1950s and 1960s appealed to a thrusting blades’ sense of value, self-esteem, lofty ideals and swordsmanship. (Photos here.) The mags featured the usual cheesrcake photos of thrusting model posing in nude. But amidst them were cartoons, funnies featuring buxom woman in the presence of randy men.
High Magazine 1959
THE Aussie politicians are getting all angry at the tech companies because Australians have to pay more for their shiny shiny tech than do Americans. But you would think that someone devious enough to actually get elected would have the brains to work this out, wouldn’t you?
The IT Pricing Inquiry being conducted by Australia’s House Committee on Infrastructure and Communications has issued summons to Apple, Microsoft and Adobe.
The inquiry kicked off in 2012 and is investigating why Australians pay more for hardware and software than those overseas.
At current exchange rate one Australian dollar buys $US1.03. Yet Australians often pay more in Australian dollars than Americans are charged in their currency.
An example of the discrepancy can be seen in the price of a 16GB WiFi iPad with Retina Display. In the USA the fondleslab costs $US499. In Australia it’s $AUD539.
IN the 1940s and 1950s, magazines like Sir put hairs on your chest. With titles like True, Dude, Stag and Male, these organs were for the monosyllabic non-nonsense real man.
Bettie Page (photos here) was the No.1 pin-up., rendered flawless with crayon and a warm tissue to blur her harder edges.
Sir! Magazine, October, 1950, features the magazine’s trademark cover stripe, the banner that promised much – “Mother of Death, Savage Sex, Terrible Secret.” Cover girl Barbara Neil was just happy to be there.
What are they singing – a charity single?
Known by the single name “Lordly,” he was revered as a semi-deity by Doukhobors. Peter Vasilievich Verigin inspired his Doukhobor followers to build a communal empire that spread over three western provinces in the years after 1899, when they arrived in Canada.
Men. Gird your loins!
James Lileks, who scanned these images, nots: “I’d hate to be the Plant Drip, but I could see the virtues in being a Success Dynamo. For one thing, you’d get the favors of shallow harridans like Betty, provided you could dish it out in the same portions you took it, and strike your employees hard enough to send them to the floor.”
Sex in Flames. Great Gipp. Marijuana Addicts.
Was anyone not a slave in Stalin’s uranium mines? Was anyone a holidaymaker?
More covers here.
FACEBOOK is a great way to connect your business to its customers. Lalor Creekside Dental asked its Facebook followers to help pick a celebrity to be there for its new office grand opening in April. Who would go to Binghamton, New York, to see Dr Teeth and the gang? The star selection box included such notable faces as: Oprah Winfrey, Jim Carey, Robin Williams, Meatloaf and Steve McNair. Who? Steve McNair, the American football star who made a name with the Tennessee Titans.Well, pick him if you want to see something amazing. He died in 2009.
IF you want cheap products, order them with a massive gun in your hand. Now, most of you will be thinking ‘that’s just robbery, rather than completing a fair transaction!’, but you’ve clearly not heard about the pizza parlour in Virginia which is offering discount to customers if they are carrying a firearm.
PRINCE Harry’s is dating Cressida BONAS. * (Her name must forever be capitalised.) La Bonas’s mother is Lady Mary Curzon, a siren of the Swinging Sixties with five children by three of her four husbands. She might be the Carol Jackson of high society.
“HAVING a moustache was always a big thing, ever since the Ottoman time. Most Arab leaders have moostache, or some form of facial hair. I think culturally it suggests masculinity, wisdom and experience.”So says one Saudi Arabia-based journalist about the fashion for moustache transplants.
Dr Selhattin Tulunay runs a moustache-replacement service in Istanbul. He performs 50 to 60 mouschache transplants a month.
“For some men who look young and junior, they think (a moustache) is a must to look senior… more professional and wise. They think it is prestigious. They have some celebrities as role models, like Turkish singer and actor Ibrahim Tatlises. Politicians think a moustanche will boost their appeal to voters.”
IN China, everything is fake. Assume that, and you will not be disappointed. One day an explorer will discover that China does not really exist, it being the product of Latvian Counterfeiters working for a marketing firm in Dallas. In these photos, we can see what you get when you crack open a Chinese Walnut. You get a pebble in a tissue. But it’s most likely a fake pebble made from human remains. The tissues are, of course, recycled blisters…
AH, the naked male form. It’s a laugh a minute. Lots of naked men were at the Leopold Museum, Vienna, Austria, for the “Nude Men from 1800 to Today” show. The museum is showcasing male nudity over the centuries. If the aim is to make the artists look wishful, the 60 men with the puckered white flesh in their socks are playing their part. When this many naked men are together you expect rugby songs, police to be saying thing like “Which one of you was a BBC DJ in the 1970s?” and a Channel 4 doctor to be working the room with tape measure and a book on fungus. But all you get is lots of staring in silence. At least the Norwegians would hump the frames…
ED NOTE NUDITY A naked museum visitor look at pictures of the show "Nude Men from 1800 to Today" during a special opening to friends of nudism at the Leopold Museum, Vienna, Austria, Monday, Feb. 18, 2013. The show "Nude Men from 1800 to Today" opened its doors from Oct.19, 2012 to March 4, 2013, looking at how artists have dealt with the theme of male nudity over the centuries. (AP Photo/Ronald Zak)