The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
Tourist guide to Scotland advises Japanese to avoid poor people in football kits
THE Edinburgh-based Luath Press hs published The Insider’s Guide to Scotland. It’s in Japanese. This is not to stop the English from heading north, rather to encourage visiting Japanese to get a beter experience.
The book does not advise: “If you want to met a real Scot, take a trip to London.” But it does advise tourists to:
1. Avoid people dressed in green or blue football shirts
Posted: 2nd, July 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comments (5)
Big Face animals T-shirts are a meme (photos)
THE epic dog T-shirt is a meme. With Big Face Animals (guinea pigs,dogs and apes) you will never be alone:
Man returned used enemas to CVS pharmacy in Florida – did you buy some?
TO San Jose Boulevard, Florida, where a man is returning a box of enemas to a CVS pharmacy. The man receives a full refund. The ready-to-use saline enmas are placed back on the shelves. Only, they have been used. They are now second-hand enemas..
Shop worker Dustin McDonald, tells police, “the suspect told him that it was for the suspect’s mother and she no longer needed them”. McDonald did then “check the box of enemas to be sure that they were not tampered with.” He “observed that all the enemas were used.” The shopper had “re-glued the bottom of the box so that it appeared that it had not been opened.”
Posted: 1st, July 2012 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
The Star Wars Darth Malgus Life Size Doll is for the discerning dummy enthusiast (£9,999.99)
MUST-HAVE item of the day: the Darth Malgus Life Size (88 inch tall) Statue from Star Wars: Old Republic. Your for £9999.99. Bargain!
For 10 grand you get some change and:
Free delivery
To pre-order an item due for release on 03 August 2012.
Our Pre-order Price Promise
Pre-order now and if the price drops between the time you place your order and the release date, we’ll charge you our lowest price and refund the difference if we’ve already taken payment – find out how.
Seller Profile
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Posted: 29th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Poetry of the Taliban – ‘The Taliban’s aesthetic sensibilities’ in rhymes
BOOK of the day: Poetry of the Taliban, with introduction from Hous bin Pharteen and Mustafa Herod Apyur Pouppr, translated into English by Norm de Poom and German by Hans Zupp. It’s distributed by Pharoah Nuff books and published by Warren Peace. No, of course not. This book is no parody. It’s the real deal.
The contrast between the severity of their professed ideology and the license of the Taliban’s aesthetic sensibilities – in which unrequited love, bloody vengeance and the thrill of battle, religion and nationalism, even a desire for non-violence, are expressed through images of wine, powerful women, song, legend and pastoral beauty – provide a fascinating insight into the minds and hearts of these deeply emotional people.
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Posted: 28th, June 2012 | In: Books | Comments (6)
10 disgusting things found inside processed food
OUR gallery of 10 disgusting things found inside processed food is enlightening. Makes you wonder what gets fished out before it reaches the consumer? What surprise have you found in your dinner..?
chicken-head
An American mother went to a McDonald's with her two 6 and 8 -year old children. She ordered two Happy Meals with chicken for the children and a hamburger with fries for herself. While they were eating, the 6-year old was more interested in the slide across the street than in the chicken nuggets which he didn't even touch. So the mother decided she would eat them. Without actually watching what she was doing she was bringing a chicken biggest to her mouth, just when her 8-year old son yelled not to eat it. So she looked at the biggest to find that -- despite the crust, it looked just like a chicken's head.The manager offered them their meal for free and two more weeks of free meals. The mother pressed charges and demanded 100,000 dollars compensation.
Spotter: Complex, Oddee, Yahoo
Posted: 28th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Woman finds used condom in can of Knorr tomato paste
TO Brazil,where Cintia Mayerle has found a used condom in her tin of Knorr tomato paste. As promotional offers go, this one lacks local knoweldege. Brazil is largely Catholic country where contraception is frowned upon. Mayerle is upset. She sues the paste’s makers, British firm Unilever, for £3,100, including £1,110 for “moral damages“. Hard not to sympathise with Mayerle. Finding the inedible inside your food is revolting. (Unless you eat at mobile kebab vans, where the expected is part of the thrill.)
chicken-head
An American mother went to a McDonald's with her two 6 and 8 -year old children. She ordered two Happy Meals with chicken for the children and a hamburger with fries for herself. While they were eating, the 6-year old was more interested in the slide across the street than in the chicken nuggets which he didn't even touch. So the mother decided she would eat them. Without actually watching what she was doing she was bringing a chicken biggest to her mouth, just when her 8-year old son yelled not to eat it. So she looked at the biggest to find that -- despite the crust, it looked just like a chicken's head.The manager offered them their meal for free and two more weeks of free meals. The mother pressed charges and demanded 100,000 dollars compensation.
Posted: 28th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Pricasso takes his penile paintings to the masses (video)
REMEMBER how ingenious you thought it was the first time you pissed in the snow and drew a picture. I’ve fantasised about doing this but I know the only thing I’d be able to draw without a Shewee squatting is a deranged looking circle. Anyway regardless, the world infamous Pricasso is stuck in that joyful stage of development and has taken his penile paintings to a mass audience all over the world. He’s painted everyone from Gordon Ramsey to Hugh Hefner and shaken his money maker on German T.V using only his dick, balls and cheeks. This clip will bring a smile to your face and wondering why your xeroxed buttocks from last years Christmas Party aren’t hanging up in a gallery somewhere.
Pricasso from tim patch on Vimeo.
Aurora Bankhead
Posted: 27th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Converse shoe trousers are ready for your foot
NEVER have your trousers clash with your shoes again! Never have your trousers ‘fall out’ with your shoes! Sebastian Errazuriz has created the Shoe Pants, the dungaree jeans – Converse combinations of your dreams. Sock are options – and for squares:
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Clive James and his Unreliable Memoirs – what every adolescent boy should read
CLIVE James is not dead. Twitter lit up with news that the writer and raconteur was dead. He isn’t But he is ill. I read one of his books when younger. James has leukaemia, kidney failure and lung disease. James, the TV reviewer who went on to make great telly, told the BBC:
“I’ve been really ill for two-and-a-half years. I’m getting near the end. I’m a man who is approaching his terminus.”
If you like “Twin miracles of mascara, Barbara Cartland’s eyes look like the corpses of two small crows that had crashed into a chalk cliff“, I urge you to read Unreliable Memoirs, an account of his early years. It’s a cracking read that any adolsescent boy needs to look at. Adult males should look at it again.
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Posted: 24th, June 2012 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comments (2)
Behind the scenes on a McDonald’s photo shoot
YOU know food adverts that look nothing like the actual food. Well, Hope Bagozz, marketing director McDonald’s Canada has filmed the makings of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese photo shoot. (No need to rush, Mr photographer. That burger cannot be killed by conventional weapons.)
via PetaPixel
Posted: 22nd, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Nine amazing things you cannot live without
HERE are nine amazing things you cannot live without:
Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
This advert Russia’s Avianova airline is plain odd
THIS advert Russia’s Avianova airline is plain odd. Mexicans and Ryan Air, eat yer heart out:
Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The best advert for sorting out old people
THE old. What to do with them? These adverts are here to help:
Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Incredible photos of water flowers
JACK Long makes flowers from thickener, pigment, dye and water. Long has created Vessels and Blooms. Says he:
“Wanted to advance my fluid suspension/high speed photography to a higher level. I created the liquid Vase in the autumn of 2011. I worked on creating the floral forms and leaves through the winter and put it all together Spring 2012. All of my images, unless otherwise noted are single capture events. I do not use photoshop to create composited images. What you see is what occurred in that single exposure.”
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Posted: 19th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The 10 most awful books covers and titles
ARE these the 10 most awful book titles and covers in English literature? (More epic covers here. And more lusty stuff is here.)
Have you read the Necromonicon?
HAVE you read the Necromonicon? It’s Al-Azif’s , aka Abdul Alhazred, greatest work. It was translated by H. P. Lovecraft in 922.
“If knowing the unknowable is crazy…I don’t want to be saved…”
Some background:
In 2005 I was called, in my capacity of Artisan’s Book, to look after the restoration of a book found in an old house-in-Vhallennes Weppes (59 North) by a Notary following the death of the owner.
The book, in a terrible state, has been identified as a French translation of Kitab al-Azif of Abul Hazred by historians, antiquarians and bibliologues also called on the restoration project and studies.
A restoration workshop was installed instead of Vhallennes to limit additional damage that could cause repeated displacements
After a long series of photographs of over 600 pages of the book, the book has been fully digitized in order to list all the missing parts, whether physical, graphic or typographical
In 2007 the first tests of facsimiles have even created through a process of ever more powerful computer.
The identity of the author of this translation, dated 1751, remains obscure to date. However, it is possible to advance the name of Alceste-Tudal-Aymour ARTOIS , a Theosophist who had distinguished himself in many translations of works in Semitic languages. The blibliologues, Thomas Vandeleare , has no knowledge of authors of that era that could cause such work on an Arabic text of the 8 th century. The fact that D’Artois ATA has decided Keep anonymity on a work such as this one remains a mystery total.
Posted: 18th, June 2012 | In: Books | Comment (1)
Fat people offered chance to be burned to death or drowned
THE Times reports that if all the fat of the world submitted to liposuction the harvested fat would “fill a lake the size of Derwent Water”. Burning the fat would produce the same power as a nuclear power station for 20 years. Know that North Americans make up just 6 per cent of the world’s population, but boast a third of humanity’s fat reserves.
So, fatty, what’s it to be, drowning or burning? Come on, the skinny are waiting for an answer?
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Posted: 18th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Flashback to 1976: The Raleigh Grifter helps boys pull models
VINTAGE sex can sell anything advert of the day. It’s July 21 1976, The Press Association reports:
Adding a touch of glamour at a press preview of children’s bicycles from Raleigh, is model Cheryl Hersch from Chiswick, who takes to the saddle of the Raleigh Grifter, one of the new range, which was on show at Craven Cottage, the home ground of Fulham Football Club.
Get a push bike and pull a model, kids. (I had one of these bikes in silver. And, true enough, I was soon beating off glamour models with a stick.)
Posted: 17th, June 2012 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment (1)
German David Hasselhoff advertises smegma Lean Pockets as an Italian sex repellent
DAVID Haselhoff stars in the worst advert you’ve seen today. The Hoff is advertising some god-awful crap called Lean Pockets – a hollowed tampon filled with Popeye’s smegma – whose raison de manger is that it will repel fertile hairy men and seduce priapic middle Middle-aged Germanic twats and metrosexual men who wax their cracks and spend more time in the beauty salon that you.
Yummm. D’lish!
Double murder burger to go, mon brave. And hurry! The future of humanity depends on it…
Posted: 16th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Unrealistic body image of the days: Muscle & Fitness promises big arms – like the Hulk
MEN. Are you tired of being pressured by manufactured beauty? Well, it’s getting worse. Muscle & Fitness magazine has raised the bar. As Steve Dawson says: “Typical! Another magazine perpetuating unrealistic body images.”
Spotter: @SDawsonBros
Posted: 14th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Shot Girls: Vanity Wonder uncovers the black market in silicon buttock injections
VANITY Wonder is the woman lifting the lid on the world of black market buttock injections. In Shot Girls, Vanity revela such moments as meeting Luxor:
Her breasts were huge and she had a big jiggly booty. She was over 6ft tall though, with huge hands and feet and her voice was kind of, well, deep. I blew it off like maybe she was just a big woman.
While the two of them caught up, Luxor brashly instructed Casey to put the numbing ointment on me and Denim. He called us over one at a time and rubbed a gel on our butts, then covered them with saran wrap. When I pulled my pants down, he was surprised.
“OH! You smell just like baby powder! It’s nice to get somebody in here that smell good. Some of these girls come in here smellin’ so bad!” he said.
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Posted: 13th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Video compilation of catwalk models falling over
VIDEO compilation of catwalk models falling over. Add a laughing Stuart Hall and it’s Jeux Sans Frontières never went away…
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Harvey Nichols promotes female ejaculation with racy ad
THE flyers for the Harvey Nichols shops (Leeds and Knightsbridge) features a woman with damp patch on her groin and the legend: “The Harvey Nichols Sale… Try To Contain Your Excitement.”
Have they wet themselves or reached orgasm?
And is wetting yourself the best way to get ahead of to the other shoppers. Is that the Harvey Knickers message? If so, we advise smearing your undercarriage with poo. Don’t bother queuing overnight for that bargain – just target those who do…
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Posted: 9th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Chinese trade in dead and live pangolin
WOULD you eat a pangolin? Plenty do. This week, Thai customs rescued 110 pangolins worth about $35,500 that they say were to be sold outside the country as exotic food. The Chinese love them. The Herbal Encyclopedia say pangolin are “used to cure tumefaction [swelling], promote blood circulation and help breast-feeding mothers produce milk.” Mix pangolin with turtle shell to cure your fibroids. Like everything else, it tastes like chicken…
11603855
In this photo taken Thursday, Dec, 10, 2009, Indonesian Forest Ministry officials and forest police burn pangolins during a destruction of the 763 kilogram of pangolin meat confiscated by Customs and Excise in Kapuk, Indonesia. The pangolin trade, banned in 2002 by CITES, the international convention on endangered species, resembles a pyramid. At the base are poor rural hunters, including workers on Indonesia's vast palm oil plantations. They use dogs or smoke to flush the pangolins out or shake the solitary, nocturnal animals from trees in often protected forests. (AP Photo)
Posted: 7th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
