Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 96

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

The Made-To-Measure Dildo Is A Thing That Exists

STEPHANIE Dorr makes made-to-measure dildos. Says Dorr:

“Handmade is always the best. Even our grandmother knew that. A product made with passion gives more passion.”

And what is more passionate than a rubber knob?

“I remember seeing one for the first time and wondering why they only came in one shape and one colour.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, November 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Selfridges ‘Rip-Off’ Frank Sidebottom’s Family: Offer £10,000 ‘Donation’

FRANK Sidebottom is dead (and so is papier-mache-topped Chris Sievey) and Selfridges’ London store is accused of ripping off his work for their Christmas window display. Hey, it’s what he would have wanted.

Selfridges says the creations are the work of one Erin Thompson, who aims to “awake the child within”. And you thought they were just designed to flog merchandise. Erin is the “Head of Visual at Selfridges”.

Jon Ronson, the writer surmises:

“Chris has only just died and I think it is most unfair. Apparently there was a grandiose press release but no mention of Frank. It just seems callous to me to plagiarise someone who has just died. The displays are clearly modelled on Frank. There is no question about it. It comes across as a rip-off.”

What says Selfridges, which has now paid a £10,000 “donation” (no, not a fee – a donation) to the Sidebottom estate? Well, a spokesman for Selfridges says:

“We were concerned to hear of the similarities between the heads on some of the mannequins in our new Christmas display and that of the Frank Sidebottom character created by Chris Sievey.

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Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Booze And Driving Lessons: Businesses That Go Together In Photos

WHAT made key cutting go hand-in-hand with shoe repair? What other businesses go together? We’ve compiled a photo list. Donuts and dry cleaning? Why, yes. Driving school and booze shop. Defo. Pizza and guns? A franchise is born. And what better to rid the place of the stink of dogs and pets than smokes? Nothing. Where do we sign..?

Funny signs – Restaurant Ones

Posted: 1st, November 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


McDonald’s Worker Wins Compensation For Getting Fat

THE McDonald’s employee who gained 65lbs in 12 years of service for McDonald’s, Brazil, is to receive $17,500 in compensation from the company because he felt “forced to sample the food each day” –  for quality.

At least with all those preservatives in him he should live a long life…

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Camembert Premiere (McDonald's, France)

Spotter: AP

Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Chinese Hotel Offers Grenade And Gas Mask On Room Service

THE room service menu at the Gold Grand China Hotel Guangzhou offers guests: soap dish, bath mat, ashtray, hand grenade, note pad…

Yeah. No bed?

Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


The Cardboard Toilet Roll Tube Is Dead: A History Of The Tube In Photos

THE cardboard toilet roll tube is dead. In the US, bum wipers, football fans and puppies are being turned to Scott Naturals Tube-Free toilet paper.

Kimberly-Clark makes the stuff. It’s brand manager Doug Daniels tells USA Today:

“[I] won’t disclose the tubeless technology used but says it’s a special winding process. A similar process is used on tissue the company sells to businesses but not to consumers.”

Tubeless toilet paper is one more way to pretend you’re working at an office and not in your pyjamas at home.

And what fo the toilet roll inner, that circle of cardboard that has been used to: grow carrots; make a puppet, Easter egg standsart, and masks?

anastassia-elias-artist

Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Poster Adverts Improved by Graffiti: A Photo Collection

THAT poster says a lot about the brand. But with a bit of felt tip, that graffiti can say something else. It can say something funny, insightful or just plain adolescent. We’ve pulled together a gallery of posted improved by graffiti. Hope you enjoy them, especially No. 6…

billboards-graffiti-1

Posted: 25th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


American Fast Food Not Sold In The USA: A Gallery Of Eats

CHEAP protein in a polystyrene box the USA’s gift to the world. It has made us healthier. But while the Americans invent mass-produced fast food, the rest of the world perfects it. The Consumer looks at some adaptation of classic recipes feature in Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut and more overseas food drops. REnjoy such delights as the Nacho Whopper (Holland), the Cheese Catsu Burger (McDonald’s, Japan) and the Tender Beef Pentagon (KFC, China)…

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Camembert Premiere (McDonald's, France)

Posted: 25th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Live Crab Vending Machine: Things That Exist

THE live crab vending machine – coming to a service station near you!

IN Nanjing, China, you can buy a live Shanghai Hairy Crab from a vending machine outside train stations. It’s the emergency pet that guarantees you a seat on the train.

The crabs are kept at 5°C, at which temperature they are believed to be in a state of hibernation.

Oh, and if you get a dead crab in a bag, the company will replace it with three live ones – enough to kickstart a home zoo.

Crabs retails at $1.50 to $7.50 each, depending on size.

The Weirdest Vending Machines Dispense Gold, Drugs, Used Panties And Breasts

The Prostitute Vending Machine

Posted: 23rd, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


The Wichita Logo Looks Like No American Breast We’ve Seen

TO Wichita, where some says the logo for the new Century II performing arts and convention centre looks like a female breast. Says City Council Member Jeff Longwell: “I think we need to revisit it.”

Indeed, in the US no female breast looks like this. Were the logo to reflect the modern female form the nipple would be perched atop 37-feet high cone of the stuff those coat the Space Shuttle with. The logo looks like a shed on top of a hill.

Here are some other logos that may be suggestive to your dirty minds:

waterstones-logo

Posted: 22nd, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Kentucky Fried Chicken Halal: When KFC Met The EDL

WHEN Kentucky Fried Chicken trialled halal meat at a few of their Lancashire outlets (inc: Accrington, Blackburn, Colne and Burnley) the reaction was less than tasteful. There were protests. Muslim mums wept that now there was one less battier to their children eating junk food. Anti-Muslims screamed: “Keep Our Imported Fried Chicken English and Christian!” And then the English Defence League (EDL) got involved.

Anorak’s Karen has followed the story:

March 15 2010: It’s Not Muslim Chicken

In a statement the LCM (Lancashire Council of Mosques) said: “Upon researching KFC’s website, it is apparent the chickens are stunned before slaughter. This issue is of great concern to us because the halal criterion, adopted by LCM after wide consultation, does not allow stunning and this conforms to British law.”

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Posted: 22nd, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


PETA Threatens To Pour Lizard Blood Over Victoria Beckham

PETA plans to soak Victoria Beckham in lizard blood. Sticky Vicky’s bags are made from crocodile, lizard and calf leather.

We are no great fans of Posh but finding a use for chewy lizards is admirable. Take PETA, which can only think of using dead lizards as a protest. One mooted plan is for activists to pelt crocodile feet at her when she goes to an editors’ lunch in London next month.

Posh might well scoff. Tossing feet is so ordinary. Better to fashion them into a darling purse, ball boxes for David or uses the claws a hair grips of him and for her.

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Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (5)


Halloween: How To Create The Best Outfit (A Gallery)

HALLOWEEN costumes: Having brought you the most revolting costumes, we know take a look at people who came up with other great outfits. A few pointers – and we agree with Brian Moylan – do not dress as: a Chilean miner (dress as Chile’s president – far scarier); anything tarty is just tarty (if you want to be a tarty robot of witch, just forget it and go as a prostitute and be done with it); and the more homemade the costume is, the better.

And if you want to shock and alarm – take a look here.

great-halloween-101

Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


M&S Clientele Meet The Poundland Mob In Blackburn Sale Stempede

FOR 90 minutes Marks & Spencer is flogging stuff for £1. People arrive. It’s a scramble. Manager David Wilkinson is wonderfully snotty:

It was not our normal cust-omer base and their behaviour was not what we’ve come to expect from Marks and Spencer customers.

You mean paying through the nose and then being asked to buy a fucking bag to put the stuff in?

“Staff commented that those purchasing final reduction items were a little bit more enthusiastic than normal in their appetite to get at the sale stock.”

As reader Karen says: Snobbery of the highest degree.

Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Estonian Clinic Uses Real Life Before And After Women: Fat Is Bad

THOSE before and after adverts just got fleshier and bonier. In Estonia, this health clinic has emplyed two women – one before and one after – to hand out leaflets.

In case you failed to realise that thin in better, the chubbier model has “BEFORE” written on her stomach. Stick the message on her chest and see which one men prefer…

Spotter: Adfreak, via Gawker

Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


McDonald’s Wedding Exists: The Burger Will Outlast The Love

McDONALD’S Hong Kong is to offer weddings. Want a wedding cake, made of apple pie, burgers or cheese slices?

The even better news is that the slice of wedding cake – the murder burger – will most likely outlast your wedding, your lives, your children’s lives, the speeches, the repeating taste of onion and cheese in your throat…

happy_meal-day-1

Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Long Life Of A McDonald’s Happy Meal In Pictures

IN an effort to answer the question ‘What happens to a McDonald’s Happy Meal if it’s not immersed in stomach juices and fizzy drink?”, New York photographer Sally Davies obtained a burger and fries and photographed it over a period of weeks. After 137 days, the meals looks almost unchanged – not wanted by man nor fungus…

Look out for a range of McDonald’s-inspired anti-ageing skin creams.

Princess Diana – Meal For One

happy_meal-day-1

Posted: 13th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


The Queen Elizabeth Liner In Photos

ANORAK is not given over to puff pieces but when we got the photos of the New Queen Elizabeth liner, including Suite 7150, the most expensive aboard Cunard’s newest ship, we thought you might like to take a look. and after them you can take a look at the planes: Inside the World’s Most Opulent Planes With Michelle Obama – A Gallery

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Suite 7150, the most expensive aboard Cunard's newest ship the Queen Elizabeth as she arrives in Southampton for the first time.

Posted: 8th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Most Terrible Adverts For Killing Children: A Gallery Of The Crazy

THE 10:10 video of children being murdered for not believing in global warming got us thinking what other adverts featuring children are just so very wrong? We searched around and now present the creepiest, weirdest, dumbest, wrongest children in adverts. Look out for the guns, the cellophane, the paedophile, the beer and the ciggies… And now with the blades!

funny-kids-ads-22

Posted: 7th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


Sexy Foods: A Gallery Of Foods With Saucy Names

SEXY Foods. Feel free to talk among yourselves are your browse our gallery of foodstuffs with names plucked from an adolsecent’s sticky fingered grasp. Does sex sell always? Do you want the cook to be thinking sexy thoughts as they whip up your dinner..?

Posted: 7th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


ADT Scares Homeowners With Break In Advert: Video

IN this video, security firm ADT will scare homeowners into thinking their flat is easier to beak into than it actually is…

If you were put a photo of gypsy on the top of the box, the Daily Express could give the boxes away.

Here’s our Scare Story of The Day:

Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Domino’s Introduces Breakfast Pizza: Jamie Oliver Weeps

THE Domino’s pizza eatery in Dayton, Ohio, is targeting diners keen to eat pizza for breakfast. The first pizza of the day features eggs, bacon and cheese on a pizza crust for $7.99. The breakfast pizza is offered all day.

Good to see that Jamie Oliver’s TV show Jamie’s American Food Revolution is making inroads. You will recall that Our Jamie was shocked and saddened to see West Virginia dinner ladies serving up pizza for breakfast at school.

As he said:

“I have never seen pizza served for breakfast. It’s that kind of food that’s killing America.”

And they’re luvvin it…

Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)


100 Years Of Saucy Seaside Postcards In Pictures

THE Bamforth vintage card collection has been celebrating its 100th anniversary, at Olympia central London, this afternoon. The saucy postcards were a feature of the British Seaside for many years, are now to be made into other products under licence Worldwide, like the cushions, handbags, clothing, and, well, whatever you want a fat lady in a bathing suit and a smutty double entendre on…

seaside-postcards-nurse

Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Williams Gill’s Walking Stick: Buy The Weapon That Murdered A British Spy

WHO wants to buy William Gill’s walking stick? Gill was the multi-millionaire British explorer and spy bludgeoned to death in the Sinai desert with his… walking stick. It’s not often you get the chance to buy a murder weapon on the open market. And here is the opportunity to buy the stick wielded by Bedouin tribesmen to murder Gill in 1883 whilst he was gathering secret intelligence for the British government. The stick is valued at around £400, any blood and gore included…

The legend:

He was sent, disguised as an Arab, to cut the telegraph lines from Constantinople to Alexandria. His cover was blown…

It was Friday 11th August 1882. The five prisoners, stripped almost naked in the heat of the sun, were made to walk in front of their captors over a mile of rough ground to the Wadi Sudr ravine. Then they were forced to climb down the cliff to some flat ground on the edge of a gully. There they were stood in a row facing the gully, a Bedouin with a gun behind each. The execution was intended to be simultaneous, the bodies falling into the gully. But before the signal to fire was given, one of the Bedouins shot Professor Palmer. In the confusion, the other four prisoners made a break for it. Khalil Attik dashed desperately down the edge of the gulley but was overtaken and killed. Captain Gill, Lieutenant Charrington and Bâkhor Hassûn tried to scramble down the 60 foot cliff to the Wadi but were shot and apparently finished off by sword. William Gill seems to have got the furthest, reaching the bottom of the cliff before he was killed.

As they say in diplomacy- talk softy and carry a bloody big stick…

Posted: 27th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Has A Shoe Bomb Gone Off In Selfridges, London?

FIND out…

Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (8)