Anorak

The Consumer

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

The Weirdest Bras Ever: A Gallery Of Discomfort

BRAS. Weird ones. For those of you who never burnt them, there is the bacon bra. For men who talk to woman’s chest, there is the talking bra your guide. For the mobile phone gamer, there is the Angry Birds bra. And for the everyone else there are bras for every kink, comfort and dream…

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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


40 Brand News Boxed iPhones For Sale On Craigslist – Location: East London

THIS trader in East London has 40 brand new, box-fresh iPhones for sale on Craigslist. Any takers..?

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Posted: 10th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


London Riots: Baseball Bat Sales Booming On Amazon

THE London Riots are a press release. Amazon reports that sales of baseball bats are brisk. The Rucanor Aluminium Baseball Bat, Silver – 60 cm tops the list of “movers and shakers” – the biggest selling sports goods in the past 24 hours. Indeed, the top six selling spotting goods in the UK in the past 24 hours are all baseball bats. They’ve never had it so good…

Ps – the seventh top selling item is a tent – for the poor sods whose homes have been destroyed by freedom fighters like these (you must listen to this).

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Posted: 9th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Cathay Pacific Looks Into Alleged Cockpit Sex Photos

CATHAY Pacific Airlines has been keeping a secret, allegedly. The airline Cathay Pacific is looking closely at what are rumoured to be two leaked pictures that allegedly show a stewardess performing oral sex on a uniformed man in the cockpit of a plane. Is he member of the crew – or a passenger on a themed upgrade? Is the plane in the plane up and rising into the air?

Says a spokessman:

“We are conducting a full investigation into the matter and there are some indications that the female shown in the photos may be a member of our cabin crew.”

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Posted: 8th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Best Amy Winehouse Tribute So Far: The Rehab Tea Pot

THE best Amy Winehouse tribute so far – the tea pot…

 

Posted: 6th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau Is The 10-Year-Old Vogue Model (Photos)

THE 10-year-old model on the cover of Vogue France is called Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau. How uncomfortable can you feel? Not very. We don’t fancy children – and if we did we imagine that what they wear would have no bearing on our desires. But, still, the media is up in arms about a child playing dress ups. We’ve seen her before, of course – creepy photos this way:

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Posted: 5th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (4)


Osama Bin Laden’s Number 1 Fan Is Made In China

PHOTO: A visitor is reflected on the window of a shop, displaying folding fans with a caricature of Osama bin Laden along with Mao Zedong for sale at a shop in Beijing, China. Question: who buys this stuff..?

Posted: 4th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Leeds Couple Take 91 Minutes To Finish Meal At KFC – Get Parking Ticket

TO Yorkshire, where Tina Ottewell-Thomson and David Stephenson have shared a meal at the KFC chicken restaurant at Birstall, near Leeds. The couple drove there. They parked in the car park. But
parking is restricted to 75 minutes,and it took them 21 minutes longer for the couple to eat their fast food and leave the car park.

Says Mr Stephenson:

“It is ridiculous. I paid £12 cash for two chicken meals and a cup of tea and coffee for both me and Tina. I am not paying an extra £150 for that pleasure. If they take me to court then we will see whether I should pay it or not.”

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Posted: 3rd, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)


Melissa Redmond ‘Sold’ Extra Sugar Sex At Dunkin Donuts (Well, Anything To Remove The Taste)

MELISSA Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, N.J., is accused of offering sex for sale at the Dunkin’ Donuts store where she worked.

As capers go, performing criminal acts in a doughnut shop is akin to turning up at the Secret Policeman’s Ball dressed as a black Muslim cunningly disguised as a burning split.

The Rockaway Township police have called the investigation “extra sugar“.

A Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann, tells the Daily Record of Parsippany, N.J.:

“She was a night time employee (working 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.), supposedly a very good one.”

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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Daniel Changes His Name To Emperor Spiderman Gandalf Wolverine Skywalker Optimus Prime Goku Sonic Xavier Ryu Cloud Superman HeMan Batman Thrash

THIS is photo of Baron, formerly Kelvin Borbidge, 22 (right) and Emperor, formerly Daniel Knox-Hewson, 23, in Nottingham.

The duo changed their names to Emperor Spiderman Gandalf Wolverine Skywalker Optimus Prime Goku Sonic Xavier Ryu Cloud Superman HeMan Batman Thrash and Baron Venom Balrog Sabretooth Vader Megatron Vegeta Robotnik Magneto Bison Sephiroth Lex Luthor Skeletor Joker Grind.

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Posted: 2nd, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (4)


Toy Fail Of The Day: The WHALE POOL

DO you own a Banzai slide ‘N Splash WHALE POOL?

Did you invite four Oompah-Loompahs over to play in it..?

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Posted: 1st, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Unfortunately Placed Adverts: Photos Of Juxtaposed Laughs

UNFORTUNATELY Placed Ads: Ever see an advert for “KABOOM” – the latest burger voucher from Groupon – next to news of a bomb killing 25 in Jerusalem? We have. Ever see a Harley Davidson ad below a photo of a killed biker? We have. Ever see an ad for Reebok shoes by a news photo of a man with no feet? We have. And now so have you…

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Posted: 29th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Women In Waders: Gratuitous Sexy Calendar Of The Day

WOMEN In Waders is the calendar that feartures women in waders – and not that much else. The blurb is inspiring:

When you think of fishing, what do you think of. Bait? Tackle? The big one that got away? Gorgeous women? OK, beautiful women don’t often come to mind, unless you have Women in Waders 2011. Twelve stunning ladies in ideal settings fill the pages of the tastefully photographed, collector quality calendar. Just imagine walking down to the bank of a river and finding a beautiful woman in waders instead of a crowd of fishermen…

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Posted: 28th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Julia Roberts And Christy Turlington L’Oreal Ads Banned For Lying

THOSE images of Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington modelling stuff for L’Oreal have been banned. The Liberal Democrat MP Jo Swinson says the ads adverts were “not representative of the results the products could achieve”.

How the MP knows this is not said. But we are inclined to agree that applying reassuringly expensive face paints is unlikely to turn you into a top model or Oscar winning actress. They only might.

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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (4)


This Bottle Of 1811 Chateau d’Yquem Is World’s Most Expensive Wine

YOU are looking at a photo of the world’s most expensive bottle of wine – a bottle of 1811 Chateau d’Yquem.

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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Comic-Con Freaks And Twilight Geeks In Photos

IT’S the 2011 Comic Con International in San Diego: A fit Kristen Stewart and a sexed-up Robert Pattinson are talking about their film, The Twilight Saga: Breaking the Dawn Part 1. Elsewhere the glorious nerds, geeks and comic book fantasists are dressed in replica kits of their fave comic books stars. We took photos:

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Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Men’s Pop White STORM Watch On EBay: Used Girlfriend Not Wanted

SO. Why are you selling your Men’s Pop White STORM Watch on EBay?

IF you want to look like an offensively rich footballer at fraction of the cost take a look at this bad boy. This rather delicious watch for the sportier men among you was given to me by my idiot of an ex girlfriend, who by the way ended up in bed last Thursday with Steve. Steve, for your information, is not me.

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Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


The Dancing Squid Video: Lunch Can Be Entertaining

ET voila! The squid that dances. Encore! Encore!

The diner writes:

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Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Fabio’s New Spice Guy Old Spice Ad Stinks (Video)

FABIO. Old Spice. Hold yer nose:

Posted: 20th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


JK Rowling Home For Sale: Property Porn Photos

HARRY Potter author JK Rowling’s childhood home, Church Cottage, in Tutshill is up for sale. The three bedroom Grade II listed cottage in Chepstow is on the market for £399,950.

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Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Save Our Chip Shops: Salt That Tastes Of Dry Vinegar Is An Abomination

ANORAK is worried by Lefteris Eleftheriou, owner of the Grimsby Fisheries chiperie in Welford Road, Leicester. He wants to show you some stuff that tastes like salt and vinegar in one dose. He says the powder is terrific because it does not make your chips go soggy.

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Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Kent Woman Banned From Every Shop In Britain Is Poundland Champion

SARAH Parker has been banned from every shop in the land.

At Canterbury magistrates’ court, Parker admits to shoplifting £100 worth of goods in single items from Poundland in Canterbury, Kent, on May 19.

Anorak has been to Poundland and can only say that Parker, a pregnant mum of four, must have been unhinged. Finding one thing worth buying in Poundland, let alone stealing, is a challenge. Finding 100 items seems a devious task akin to cleaning the Augean Stables with a bendy straw while being nagged by 25 toddlers driven half-mad on Lucozade.

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Posted: 16th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


Supermarket Worker Ejaculated Semen Into Yoghurt Samples

ANTHONY Garcia was employed as a Sunflower Market worker in Albuquerque when he ejacualted into a yogurt sample and encouraged a shopper to eat it.

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Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Yiqing Yin Catwalk Nods To Coco Austin’s Thong

FASHION. It’s not porn. It. Is. Fashion. Anorak understood this as we attended the Yiqing Yin Fall-Winter 2011-2012 Haute Couture fashion collection presented in Paris.

Coco Austin might well smiles. She was ever an inspiration...

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Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Most Useless Anti-Drugs Adverts Ever (How To Get Paid For Sex)

ANTI-drugs adverts are useless. At best they scare the already scared into not taking the drugs they would not take anyhow. At worse, they make the drugs look pretty damn good. Anyone already on drugs is too monged out on the sofa like a prolapsed goose or searching the intent for legal highs and drugs the anti-drugs campaigners haven’t even thought about campaigning against yet. Here are the worst anti-drugs adverts ever:

Dod you get paid every time you have sex? With meth – you can!

Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment