Large Hadron Collider: We Might Not all Die, Says BBC
THE LARGE HADRON Collier is going to kill us all, and the Swiss first. Fact. But hold on, the BBC has news:
“It’s seems the Big Bang CAN BE investigated without destroying the Earth.”
Who would have guessed that the scientists and engineers that built the massive contraption on the French-Swiss border had not put the planet in jeopardy?
Although Satan will rise…
September 5th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
You will all probably live a few seconds longer than me.
I am only 22 kilometres away.
September 5th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Oh good!
You are hereby nominated as the on-the-spot reporter on what it feels like to be sucked inexorably into a Black Hole; congratulations!
How good are your typing skills?
September 5th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Chenier,
My current black hole is called… no that would be indiscreet.
Typing skills are fantastic until the split second before I hit “Submit Commnet”
September 5th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Well, we can cut you some slack there, I’m sure; I for one would not wish to be overly picky about triffles when particles are accelerating at near light speeds towards you, and indeed, us.
Consider yourself hired; the wages are the very finest there are.
The approbation of your peers.
At least that’s what it says on this bit of paper…
September 5th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I personally hope the LHC will take the huff at all the bad press it has had to put up with; and wrench itself bodily from the grip of the Earth, stationing itself in orbit above us. Just hanging there. Glaring at us all like an elderly aunt who has bagseyed the fondant fancies at a family gathering and has no intention of sharing until we ask her nicely.
Every now and then it will shoot off a stunning display of beautiful particles, then turn away when we try to study them. That’ll teach us.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
CERN has always argued that their experiment is safe, before and after they addressed new safety concerns that had not been addressed before.
Independent scientists argue that CERN is being reckless and disseminating misinformation, safety is only a disputed theory.
Got LHCFacts.org?
September 5th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Probably not.
Unless of course you have imbibed the spirit of Anokra and are suggesting that we go to wherever it is, but that’s also probably not due to the number of people I have to have dinner with before next Wednesday…
September 5th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Nobody knows axact reason of “Tsunami” in Indian Ocen. Was it caused by any human activity?
NASA published a photogaph of “Human Face” on the Mars and kept the confusion till years. For what purpose? Was it just to explore fund for activities of NASA?
It is not correct to make fool to the whole “Man-kind” on the earth. Is the “Large Hadron Collider” going to produce some new disaster?
September 5th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
honestly i reckon its just a load of crap were notgoing to die on wednesday so stop worrying about it and if we do so what
September 5th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Not one of us, not one, has spared a thought for the forgotten siblings of the LHC. If there is a Large Hadron Collider, there must surely be a Small and Medium Hadron Collider too?
No doubt, like in any really talented family, Small has actually discovered loads of stuff that gets sidelined or ignored; and Medium is sitting under the dining room table, face impassive, flicking dad’s stolen lighter on and off with a thousand-yard-stare that would do justice to any shellshocked WWI veteran.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Anorak you nearly had me running for the hills when I misread your headline….
“Large Hardon Collider!!” ….. sounds bloody painful.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
I think they should delay the full power run until - oh - say 1st of April.
Imagine the war of the worlds style ‘news’ report you could generate - what a blast!
September 5th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
The Large Hardon Collider may not be deadly but it could cause your bollocks & bell end to go up in Big Bang.
September 5th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
I’m kinda thinking that I should try all the cheeses that I’ve never tasted. I only have till wednesday, but I do have a good supply of crackers.
So, given the nature of my quandry, I’d like to ask what cheeses you guys like. It might help to make a better short list. I’ll take the liberty of providing you with a list of my favorite cheeses (so as not to cause repetition) We can discount the following as I’ve already eaten them.: Cheddar, Goats, Cheshire, Lancashire, Edam, Paneer, Welsh (goats cheese) Herve cheese(ah Belgium!), Danish Blue, Brie, Romadur, Gylotto (Greek) and craft cheese slices; despite there’s probably never been any cheese anywhere near them.
The end of the world is nigh. So if you can hurry this up a bit.. Ta!
M and A
Stilton, Camembert (very runny) Roquefort (to hell with the expense) Caerphilly, Double Gloucester, but i do like mine all very extra mature and blast ones head off, Wensleydale is rather nice too and Red Leicester
September 5th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Camembert & Roquefort (despite the expense) are now at the top of my list! and lets face it, because we’re all doomed, the expense less of a concern.. Keep em’ coming!
September 5th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
some nice wine to accompany then,, oh I forgot the king of cheese Gorgonzola and a lovely Barolo to acompany
September 5th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Presumably somewhere in the anti universe ther is an anti Large Hadron Colilder which we will pass somewhere in the black hole. It will readily be identifiable as a single elongated string of anti quarks and stainless steel as it passes at a surprising rate of knots.
September 6th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Just before the original ‘Big Bang’ that supposedly started this whole mess that we now call ‘home’, including such horrors as fizzy beer, taxation, Big Brother, politicians and traffic wardens, there must have been an event that triggered it.
Religious types say ‘God did it’.
Astrophysicists say ‘that’s getting into religious territory’ or ‘we don’t bloody know what did it!’
I reckon that there were a bunch of ancients with a 22Km ring of big tubing under a mountain, saying ‘Don’t fuss; it’ll be fine. Just push that red button there will you?’
September 6th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Thank you, Mic.
That’s really cheered me up.
My game-plan is to work myself through large quantities of food and drink in the coming days, so that when we get to Wednesday at least I won’t die wondering whether Roquefort is really all it’s cracked up to be…
September 6th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
My theory is that the LHC is Dr Evil holding the world to RANSOM! http://tinyurl.com/6kfezl
M and A
perhaps blowing it up might be the better option, what with the Credit Crunch,the Nov elections and I’m sure there would be some football club who would appreciate the distraction?
September 6th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
this is all good and fun, but I do hope the world ends. And I hope it happens at a pace at which we can all have time to lite up that last joint and sing about the end. Its going to happen at some time, because if we do live for another 500 years, we will end up using our 20,000 or so nukes. so one way or another! cherrio
September 6th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
wat u talkin,…..
well well i still think dat i shud go n try out all dat i missed out on n just freak out till wednesday so dat i can atleast peacfull die….
uhh…..
September 6th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
So, what we’re going to do is chill some atomic parts to NEAR absolute zero, accelerate them to NEAR the speed of light and then bounce them off one another in order to understand the Origin of All Things, yes? Sweet! I’m going to go out and freeze some cue balls and hurl them at one another in order to understand the game of Billiards. The Large Hadron Collider may indeed provide some answers but inevitably it will have us asking more questions than before. Hopefully they will be the right questions.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Im scared now :S
But I guess we deserve it for finding things out man isnt supposed to know.
…If i go to hell, im taking those scientists with me!
lol
September 7th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Going to rinse something fresh, freeze it in my Subzero, and then spin it very quickly in my largest collidor.
Relax for a few days and admire the view and walk in it. Picnic with cheese collection too: and especially the St. Andre double fat with a crisp autumn apples. Ah life is good.
Oh — oh there’s an sp.
I see.
Col-li-dor. What’s that again??
September 7th, 2008 at 9:50 am
How do we know what created the ‘Big Bang’ may be it was a group of scientists undertaking this very experiment and it has taken us till now to get here again!
September 7th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
It’d be funny if was some big a paradox, and scientists keep doing this over and over again. Creating and destroying the universe in one big loop.
And that my children is where deja vu comes from.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Well if we’re all going to die i’m going to max out all my credit cards and drive my car into a large body of water.
If we don’t die….crap XD
I wish i had a LHC in my house it would be handy for doing the washing
September 8th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Just been out burying some survival rations, in case.
Charles, what is the St Andre double fat?
September 8th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Wow how pointless.
You reckon some scientists were sitting there thinking “OMG LETS MAKE SOME CRAZY MACHINE TO FIND OUT STUFF ABOUT THE BIG BANG THAT COULD POTENTIONALY DESTORY THE PLANET, I MEAN SCREW USEFUL STUFF LIKE CURING CANCER AND SOLVING THE SUPOSED GLOBAL WARMING ISSUE{which is apprantly all a consprisary anyways go see the Global warming swindle, turns out Al Gore Manages to read a graph backward}
I mean serisouly what is the point, its going to lead to more questions, which thier going to make more risks so they can solve those questions and it’ll go on and on. If they ever did find the answr, they’re not going to like it anyway.
Surely, ignorance is bliss, most people are happier beiliving what they beilive so they come to terms with life and its meaning.
How about they stop playing god and like i said get on with stuff that could improve life, not potentially destory it [small chances as they are, but the more they do it the chance is only going to rise]
Regardless, what i just said is bound to make no difference what so ever, but hey what can you do, at least i can leave the message of i told you so to the suvivors, if they are any.