TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 3

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Line of Duty creator Jed Mercurio: how to commit murder and get away with it

ted hastings line of duty


Line Of Duty creator Jed Mercurio has been talking about the hit TV show. The last series was blistering entertainment. There is nothing worse than a bent copper, which means there’s something for everyone – those who love watching police nab wrong ‘uns and those who like it when the police are exposed get to enjoy the show. Adrian Dunbar, Vicky McClure and Martin Compston, the actors given flesh and blood to AC-12’s characters, who can spend 15 coiled minutes interviewing a suspect in a bog-standard open-plan office and erupt into dizzying burst of action.

On Murder:

If I were ever to find myself alone in a room with a dead body I’d created in self-defence and pondering my next move, “plead guilty to manslaughter,” Jed Mercurio tells me. “For the minimum three years sentence. If you take the risk of fighting a murder plea with self-defence and you fail, then you will be convicted of murder and that is a mandatory life sentence.” Getting off with self-defence is really, really hard, says Mercurio, really hard. “I did the research.”






And On Ted Hastings:

Ted’s from a different era, isn’t he? Hence his reference to Pan’s People earlier in the series…

That was a cultural reference that was appropriate to his age. In terms of how he conducts himself in the workplace, he is the boss and people are often intimidated by bosses. Possibly, female colleagues haven’t said to him in the past, ‘I’d really rather you didn’t call me darling, however neutrally you’re saying it’.

Talking to [Ted Hastings actor] Adrian Dunbar about it, he felt it was something that the character possibly would do and he would be shocked by someone thinking that it was sexist. I think it’s about finding that grey area.

Ted’s idioms like “now we’re sucking on diesel”, do they come from Adrian, him being a local lad?

That particular one did, yeah. Some do and some don’t. What happens is Adrian will say something and that gets put into the script at a later point. There is a desire to keep him idiomatic in line with his background.

Those phrases are key to the attraction of the character. I remember writing once that Ted’s bilingual – he speaks both police and human. In the middle of all the jargon, he’s our translator, he’ll say “you hoodwinked them” and all of a sudden, we understand what’s going on.

I think you’re right. It’s part of making those scenes transparent to the audience. You can have chunks of jargon that are opaque but what you can’t do is keep the audience out for any length of time, you have to let them in at points to understand the to and fro of the dialogue.

Spotter: Den of Geek

Posted: 12th, May 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Dance Moms prison auditions underway as Abby Lee Miller goes down

Abby Lee Miller, the yelling, industrial sander-voiced leader of TV’s Dance Moms, has been sentenced to 366 days in prison. She is guilty of fraud, having concealed around $755,000 of assets earned in 2012 and 2013, after she filed for bankruptcy in 2010.

Abby Lee was also sentenced to two years of probation following her release from prison, and ordered to pay a fine of $40,000.

You think Abby would revert to type and shout at the judge until he agreed to do what she told him. But that only works on the under 12s. Reports say she cried. And that failed, too.


abby lee prison


So Abbey Lee Miller heads to prison, where she’ll trade in her Comfy Slax and Cardi-gown for on an orange jump suit, and work out how to make her big comeback. The recipe is simple: Jail House Rock. No, not Abby Lee sat in a cell, self-cradling, rather a bunch of felons and rocking to and fro. This is the big dance number in which Abby Lee turns a bunch of felons and mothers into a dance troupe.

Call me , Abby, I have ideas. But not on the that phone. Best give it a rinse first.


Posted: 10th, May 2017 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

BBC pundit: ‘Everyone who votes Tory is a racist’ and Labour is mystified by Brexit

On BBC TV’s Newsnight, former Newsnight Economic’s Editor Paul Mason – he now works at Channel 4 –  has news for all Tory voters. It’s all about race.


PS: You anti-racists can vote Labour, then, which has no problem with racism at all.

PPS: Brendan O’Neill knocks:

racism labour brexit

Posted: 6th, May 2017 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Manchester United balls: talkSport experts pathetic bicker over Marcus Rashford’s goal

Just when you thought British football coverage had reached its nadir, TalkSPORT go and plumb brave new depths of tawdry drivel. Discussing Manchester United’s 1-0 win over Celta Vigo on Alan Brazil’s ‘Sports Breakfast’ radio show on Friday morning, studio guest Ray Wilkins got himself embroiled in a childlike quarrel with Neil Custis, football writer for The Sun, on the other end of the phone.


Spotter: Pies

Posted: 5th, May 2017 | In: manchester united, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Leonard Nimoy Speaks Out on LSD, Religion and Dirty Movies

“Leonard Nimoy Speaks Out on LSD, Religion and Dirty Movies” in a 1968 TV magazine article. It is an “unblushing honest confession” made by the Star Trek actor.

Nimoy was open about the value in LSD. In a June 1968 interview, he opined:

“Waste not the smallest thing created, for grains of sand make mountains, and atoms infinity. Waste not the smallest little in imbecile infirmity, for well thou knowest that seconds form eternity.”

Truthful words that sum up eloquently Leonard’s philosophy. And the red-tape and bureaucracy of big government certainly conglomerate into a massive, time-consuming and delaying mess. But waste can also hit people via the indiscriminate use of LSD which Leonard abhors. “It really serves only a limited useful purpose,” he said. “If administered under strict medical supervision, then perhaps some benefit can be derived but only then.”


Leonard Nimoy Speaks Out on LSD, Religion and Dirty Movies b

Leonard Nimoy Speaks Out on LSD, Religion and Dirty Movies b

You can read it all on Flashbak.


Posted: 4th, May 2017 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Madeleine McCann: most of the British Press ignores the 10th anniversary

Ten year ago today Madeleine McCann was reported missing. Today the media marks the unhappy truth that a decade of reporting, fund-raising, investigating and watching has added not a single new fact to the original report: child vanishes. This is a round-up of the anniversary’s reporting. It’s a the usual mixture of speculation, name-calling and gawping.


madeleine mccann newspapers


Daily Mirror (front page): “As the McCanns mark 10 agonising years without their Maddie, how can Portuguese police keep being so vile”

Are feelings of paramount importance when investigating what happened to an innocent child? The Mirror’s front page promises more on pages 13 and 17.

Page 13: We see Madeleine McCann holding tennis balls. She is “THE LOST GIRL”. The headline tells us: “Portuguese cops: Brits’ search for Maddie is a waste of £11m.”

Is that an opinion exclusive to former Portuguese police officer Carlos Anjos, who says the the theory that the child was taken dying a burglary is “absurd”?  He states: “Not even a wallet disappeared, no TV disappeared, nothing else disappeared. A child disappeared.”

Is that “vile”? Isn’t it just a statement of fact? Reading on we are told that Kate and Gerry McCann will attend a prayer service in Rothley, Leicestershire. We get to read a “leaked” 2010 Home Office report, which says: “The McCanns acknowledge a distinct lack of trust between all parties.”

We read of “more bile” from another former Portuguese policeman, this time it’s Goncalo Amaral, who appeared on the telly to tell viewers that the child could have been cremated. He says: “Three figures went into the church. They had a box. It is possible the child’s remains were in the box and cremated a well.” Can he prove his theory? Clearly not. But we get to hear Amaral’s opinion, and we are told how to read it.  It is “vile”. It is full of “bile”. It is a “snub”. It’s speculation. There’s been a lot of that.

Page 17: “Fresh hell adds to Maddie pain.”

Alison Phillips uses her column to record “another agonising anniversary for the McCann family”. She spots the “slug-like” Amaral. She says the chances that the parents will be reunited with Madeleine are “less likely than ever”. Having told of the parents’ hurt and suffering, Phillips says: “Yet as the family mark 10 agonising years without Maddie today, how can some Portuguese cops be so cruel?” Amaral has been “airing his ludicrous claims about her disappearance.” He’s been on “local” TV in Portugal.

On May 10 2007, the Mirror produced “6 THEORIES” of its own. They were: “PAEDOPHILE GANG”, the “LONE PAEDOPHILE”, the “JEALOUS MOTHER”, Madeleine wandering off and “DROWNED”, the “OPPORTUNIST PAEDOPHILE”, the “CHILDLESS COUPLE”.

They never did get to the burglar theory.

Phillips returns to Amaral’s appearance on the TV, where he was “again pointing the finger at Maddie’s parents”, making “ludicrous claims about her disappearance”. Phillips wonders: “Why the Portuguese broadcasters give him airtime is a total mystery”. For those of you missed the show, the Mirror helpfully transcribes parts of it. Why a British newspaper gives him front-page coverage is a total mystery. Phillips says Anjos and Amaral could do “everyone a favour…by keeping their opinions strictly to themselves.” Even if it does give a columnist one less thing to write about.

She then notes – get his  – “…these men know every smear or suggestion will be lapped up and repeated by sickos and saddos on social media.” There are some nasty sods on twitter and Facebook. Perish the thought that the mainstream media would stoop do low as to point the finger and whisper.

Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: Parents Kept Info From Cops.”

The story begins:

“Madeleine McCann’s parents withheld information from police that had been gathered by private investigators hunting for her, says a Home Office report. The couple believed their treatment by Portuguese police was ‘inhumane’.”

Page 9: “Maddie’s parents did not trust them”

Jerry Lawton writes that the parents “did not truth detectives handling the case after they were declared suspects… Though the couple’s ‘arguido’ status was lifted in 2008 and the case archived as unsolved, the McCanns withheld details unearthed by their private eyes from both them and their local Leicestershire  force , the report states.”

Daily Express: nothing. Not a single word is published on the child who has featured on the paper’s cover many times.

Telegraph (page 23): Allison Pearson says it is “miracle” of faith and fortitude that the McCanns are still together. She then embarks on a ‘Maddie & Me’ story:

My own children were small when she was taken and, for a while, my son was obsessed with her. I had to answer endless questions. “No, they didn’t find her yet, sweetheart. Yes, it’s very sad. No, a bad man will not take you. Because Mummy and Daddy will keep you safe, that’s why.”

In the past decade, how many parents have mentally run the “Madeleine safety test” before daring to leave their children even for a moment? It’s no consolation to the McCanns, but that may be her lasting legacy.

The Sun (page 6): “MADDIE BRUSH’S RERURN”

“A hairbrush belonging to Madeleine McCann has been returned to her parents on the tenth anniversary of her disappearance.”

Are the two moments linked, the brush’s return and the anniversary? Surely this isn’t some kind of macabre tribute?

The brush was in the possession of Danie Krugel, a private investigator. It was “handed” to the ex-cop after he offered to help the search for the the child. The McCanns spokesman, Clarence Mitchell, says: “Gerry did give a hairbrush to Mr Krugel at the time to assist in his work. He eventually returned to  South Africa and the hairbrush slipped their minds. But they were delighted to get one of Madeleine’s possessions back.”

The paper goes on to refer to Amaral and his “vile suggestion Madeleine’s body had been frozen before being cremated”. Mitchell says the claim is “deeply offensive”.

Daily Mail (Page 31): “McCanns fell out with Portuguese and UK police”

Madeleine McCann’s parents fell out with both the Portuguese and British police investigating her disappearance, a leaked report revealed today. Gerry and Kate McCann’s relationship with detectives became so poor that they refused to share information dug up by their own private investigators.

A Home Office report ordered by then Labour minister Alan Johnson before the 2010 election shows that the couple’s ‘turbulent relationship’ with police led to a breakdown in trust.

It says that the McCann’s felt badly treated by the Portuguese authorities who closed the investigation into Madeleine’s 2007 disappearance.
But when the Met Police came in they then fell out with police in Praia de Luz – and later the McCanns too, the report says.


madeleine mccann theories


The Mail says its report is rooted in a Sky News scoop. Over on Sky, alongside a story on – yep – 6 theories on what happened to Madeleine McCann, we read:

The revelations are contained in a report ordered by the then Home Secretary Alan Johnson who wanted to know if it was worth getting Scotland Yard involved after Portuguese officers closed their first investigation. The report said: “It is clear that from the beginning the McCanns felt there was a lack of clarity and communication on the part of the Portuguese police. Despite the involvement of British consular staff, they were, by their own accounts, left for long periods without any updates or communication with the investigators. They state they were taken to the police station on more than one occasion and then left for hours waiting to speak to someone who never materialised.

“They describe this situation as inhumane, with no real consideration for their emotional and physical wellbeing.”

The report, written by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, also said too many UK law enforcement agencies had rushed to help and caused chaos, and that frequent criticism of the Portuguese investigation led to accusations the UK was acting like “a colonial power”.

The report said: “Clearly, the McCanns have had a turbulent relationship with both Portuguese and UK law enforcement. They now openly acknowledge that there is a distinct lack of trust between all parties.”…

The report said: “It is clear that the McCanns and the private investigators working on their behalf have gathered a large amount of information during the course of their enquiries. This information does not appear to have been shared fully with the Leicestershire constabulary or the Portuguese authorities.

“It is imperative that they are encouraged and persuaded to share this information.”

What happened to Madeleine McCann? She vanished. And that’s the sum of the facts.

Posted: 3rd, May 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

GE17: Diane Abbott creates 250,000 more police officers on up to £8,000 a year each – maybe

When Diane Abbott went on Nick Ferrari’s LBC radio show to talk about Labour’s plans for Government, she told listeners what 10,000 extra police officers would cost. They would cost about £80m. Or £300,000. Or it might be more. Or less. Or something in the middle. Maybe.

Here’s Diane – your future Home Secretary – to explain:


Posted: 2nd, May 2017 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Mafia used SMS text-message ticker at the bottom of a sports broadcast to get reach mob bosses

To Italy, where TV show Quelli che il Calcio (That which is Football) is announcing the latest breaking news on its below the faces ticker. It slo show SMS messages sent in by fans. The potential for upset is clear. But the Mafia saw an opportunity for messages to communicate with mob bosses in their prison TV lounges.

The show’s presenter, Simona Ventura, said she was “shocked” by the revelation, and said fans would no longer be allowed to send text messages when the programme goes back on air on Sept 12.

“It strikes me as pretty ingenious,” she told La Repubblica newspaper. “We opened up a line of communication with our viewers in order to give them direct contact with the show. It proved to be all that I had expected apart from the fact that it was apparently used to send messages to mafia bosses.”

Mafia bosses looking to communicate with their minions will now revert to the old methods of bribing the referee and letting the result do the talking, allegedly.

Spotter: Telegraph

Posted: 28th, April 2017 | In: Sports, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

ITV live news reporter has malfunction on camera

Have a heart for the live TV reporter padding out the known facts in the London drizzle. ITV goes live to its man in Westminster. Come in, Rohit Kachroo, who has Type 1 Diabetes (it was related to that):


I’ve been there. I was on the radio once and utterly lost my train of thought. He did well to maintain his cool. And it does make you wonder why he has to be live on the scene at all? Very rarely does the TV reporter’s location ever add to the story? After all, they are there long after the incident on which they’re reporting has passed.

Posted: 28th, April 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Specials: Nursing Home Pensioners Rip It Up To Too Much Too Young (Video)

The Specials’ Too Much Too Young for the Nursing Home! As John Lydon says: “The Best Ska Punk Bands Ever.”

Posted: 25th, April 2017 | In: Music, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Emily Thornberry: ‘There are people who poo who create a lot of jobs’

Emily Thornberry, Labour MP and shadow Foreign Secretary in Jeremy Corbyn’s Cabinet of anyone who lives within walking distance of his Islington home, is on Radio 4. She says: “There are people who poo who create a lot of jobs.”


That’s the jobbies sorted.


Posted: 22nd, April 2017 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Caption writers protect the Easter Bunny from would-be Trump assassins and Elma Fudd

The President of the United States is on the LEFT.


trump bunny left caption


“Excellent use of parentheses. Bravo caption writers.” tweets @Zoeparamour.

“Sometimes Breaking News comes at exactly the perfect moment” adds @Melissajpeltier.


donald trump rabbit


Spotter: Twitter/@MelissaJPeltier & Twitter/@ZoeParamour

Posted: 22nd, April 2017 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Digging deep for Scarlett Moffatt’s topless photos

They are, says the Daily Star, the topless pictures Scarlett Moffatt does not want you to see. They are the “sizzling pictures” topless Scarlett Moffat hoped had been “lost for ever”.


SCarlett Moffatt


We are invited to see Scarlett go “completely topless in unearthed pics”. But how far into the earth did the Star have to dig to retrieve photos of topless Scarlett? One day after the papers were full of news that Scarlett, winner of last season’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, is to front a spin-off show, we learn that in 2013 she went “completely topless” on MTV’s Beauty School Cop Outs.


scarlett moffatt mtv


In case you missed it, in July 2016 the Mirror showed photos of topless Scarlett Moffatt getting a televised spray tan on the show.  “Gogglebox star Scarlett Moffatt snogs Jeremy McConnell before stripping naked in jaw-dropping footage,” declared the paper.

That same month the Sun thundered: “The incredible moment Scarlett Moffatt snogs Jeremy McConnell and strips NAKED.”

But what about Scarlett being embarrassed by her “raunchy” past? Well, in June 2014, the Star told readers: “Gogglebox babe Scarlett Moffatt will flash her boobs for every England World Cup goal.” Said demure Scarlett: “I will flash my boobs for each goal.”

One month later, Scarlett told Star readers: “I’ve seen threesomes on the bar’ Gogglebox Scarlett exposes ‘soft porn’ of Magaluf mayhem.” Said Scarlett: “I’ve been working in Magaluf over the last two months now and have seen first-hand the crazy shenanigans that happen most nights. Yet to the tourists downing alcohol like water and spreading their legs more often than you lose coppers, it’s not that big a deal.”

The pictures are less the hidden photos Scarlett didn’t want to see than they are the topless photos that get an airing whenever the reality TV star scores a new job.

Posted: 17th, April 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Badass Danish girl gives ’em what for in 1969 TV news report

We join the action in 1969. A young Danish woman is being questioned by a TV reporter. He wants to know whey she’s traveling alone. She produces some papers to say it’s ok, her parents and the officials have approved hee walking in public. She shows the journalist “a document with a stamp from the local police chief, to verify her story.”

But he’s worried. He wants to know what precautions she’s taking to ensure her safety. So she shows him:


Spotter: Flashbak

Posted: 11th, March 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Celebrity Big Brother: bonking bonkers in TV’s Bedlam



You know Celebrity Big Brother is dead when something better and harder-edged comes along to replace it. The Star trails the new show on its cover: “VIOLENT BBC STAR PULLED OUT Of HOUSE – Locked in ‘padded cell’ by security.” Slap a few cameras on the walls and you’ve a new take on Bedlam, the Bethlem Royal Hospital, where the insane were locked inside to be gawped at by the well of mind and examined by the sinister.

And the language hasn’t changed much since those dark days in the history of mental health treatment. “Bonkers Kim Woodburn,” begins the Star’s story. After or during a televised “row” with Jamie O’Hara, a former footballer once married to serial footballer-dater Danielle Lloyd, “the wild-eyed How Clean is Your House? star” [answer: it’s ****ing filthy] was “locked in a side room”, where she remained for the rest of the night.

Peering down at the CBB Petri Dish, we also learn that O’Hara “got hot and steamy” with Bianca Gascoigne, former footballer Paul Gascoigne’s step-daughter. “Producers think it is a matter of time before a full-blown romp,” we’re told.

We’ll leave you with César de Saussure’s account of Bedlam during his 1725 tour of London’s sights.

…either side of which are a large number of little cells where lunatics of every description are shut up, and you can get a sight of these poor creatures, little windows being let into the doors. Many inoffensive madmen walk in the big gallery. On the second floor is a corridor and cells like those on the first floor, and this is the part reserved for dangerous maniacs, most of them being chained and terrible to behold. On holidays numerous persons of both sexes, but belonging generally to the lower classes, visit this hospital and amuse themselves watching these unfortunate wretches, who often give them cause for laughter. On leaving this melancholy abode, you are expected by the porter to give him a penny but if you happen to have no change and give him a silver coin, he will keep the whole sum and return you nothing

Bonkers and Bonkers is coming to a screen near you soon.


Posted: 19th, January 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Argie-Bargy In Hun-derland! Sun and Star slam EastEnders over Eyetie Slur

When Danny Dyer’s character Mick Carter told EastEnders viewers the Queen Vic’s Italian supper was “Eyetie night” he triggered a “race row”. So bad is that the Daily Star, the paper that once cheered for the EDL, is aghast.

“Danny Dyer’s character made a slur against Italians,” trills the paper on its front page. By Page 3 it’s a full-blown “race storm”.  Soap fans are in a state of “fury”. For those readers not au fait with racism and not yet furious, Lauren Clarke tells us, “Eyetie is a derogatory word for Italian people which emerged during World War Two.”


danny dyer daily star

The Star


The Sun agrees. Danny Dyer is “‘Eyetie’ Order”. “The “insult” is used as “offensive slang” rooted in wartime.


The Sun danny dyer

The Sun


Eyetie’s a bit like kraut, a slang term for Germans, which is a bit like ‘Hun’ or ‘Jerries’ – or Argie, a way of talking about Argentineans, which may or not be derogatory depending on what paper you read:

These are few articles in the racially sensitive Daily Star:


the sun the hun


argie daily star


daily star argie


daily star kraut


And in the Sun:


the sun yanks

the sun krauts jerries hun


Zuch are zer facts.

Posted: 13th, January 2017 | In: Key Posts, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Big Brother: Katie Price stars in race row homophobic repeat

The Daily Star presses f9 on the keyboard and gargles up news on Katie Price, the former glamour model “BACK IN CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER”. For those of you not watching the current series of CBB – yes, it’s still on – the knackered show features lots of Z-listers who unable to achieve lasting fame based on any talent have slinked back inside the house. CBB is a repeat, in much the way TV panel shows are: the same faces making familiar comments to deadline.

Given ubiquitous Katie’s busy home life, a few weeks on CBB must be akin to passing time in a retreat away from the public eye.


Katie Price Celebrity Brother Daily Star



But she’s not on CBB. The Star’s headline contains a caveat: Katie will return to the show if “telly bosses hand her a huge fee”. How likely that is depends on the current crop of no-marks’ ability to entertain.

Over pages 4 and 5, the Star lets us know how that’s panning out. There is, as ever there was, talk of a “race row”. Apparently Stacy Francis was “edited out”. It might be an idea to first introduce the woman you can’t see (you can). Stacy is not former footballer Trevor Francis’ daughter, stretching the football gene that offers CBB beds and board to Paul Gascoigne’s step-daughter and George Best’s son. Stacey appeared on the X Factor’s US version.


Katie Price Celebrity Brother Daily Star



Over in the Sun, we learn that Francis is embroiled in a “HOMOPHOBIC ROW”.

The tabloids look for racism and homophobia in a talent show contestant’s dust, supporting their front-page shockers with comments from Outraged of Twitter and viewers unable to notice that anyone watching CBB in the hope of being anything but offended is propped up on pills and pillows in an institution with the remote control just out of reach.

It’s pretty clear that CBB and its tabloid partners need Pricey. And when she enters the house by the revolving door Katie will spark controversy. She has made remarks about Calum Best – “comments too rude for a family newspaper.” But surely ok for one with a topless stunna on page 3 and adverts for onanists to get “quick relief” via phones and hardcore porn channels? Sadly no. The Star doesn’t share the comments. You’ll have to wait until Katie struts onto the CBB stage to hear them. Or watch recordings of her from a pervious show.

Posted: 5th, January 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Ore Oduba black story: from the slums of Canford to Strictly Come Dancing blondes

Strictly Come Dancing winner Ore Oduba is flanked by two blondes on the Mail’s cover. To his right is wife Portia. To his left is dance partner Joanne Clifton. “Strictly champ: I’ve neglected my wife,” declares the headline. Readers begin to wonder if the show was a mating ritual. Is sexual intrigue in the air?


Ore Oduba


Over pages 12 and 13 we get more. “Now I’ve got time for my wife!” thunders the headline.

“Oduba and his wife Portia – he’s identified by surname; she, who never competed but remained blonde throughout the pro-celebrity dance show, we meet on first-name terms – “have been married for less than a year”.  The paper quickly picks up on the moment of Ore’s triumph, when he “looked straight into dance partner Joanne Clifton’s eyes and said, ‘I love you with all my heart’ as he held up the glitterball trophy.”

This was, says Laura Lambert. just another example of the 30-year-old BBC sports presenter’s “emotional side”. No kidding. But “once the cameras stopped rolling he was virtually inseparable from his wife.” But, boy, how he tried to shake her. No, only joking.

As for that suggestive front-page headline. when asked what he’d be up to over Christmas, Ora replied, “I’ve neglected my family. Same for Jo, we’ve been working so hard.”


Ore Oduba


In the Mirror, Ore reveals his “extraordinary journey”. We learn that Portia, a TV researcher, is based in Manchester, keeping her away from Ore as he trained for the show in London. They met at University. They were married in a “lavish” bash in Kent. Very soon they hope to start a family. Ore’s dad is a leading lawyer in Nigeria. Ore went to the very expensive Dumpton school in Dorset, a prep school for the even more pricey Canford public school.  And that’s it. The extraordinary story is anything but. Public school boys meets Portia from Tunbridge Wells and gets a job at the BBC.

There will be movies.

Unless it’s all remarkable because Ore is black? Is that the key part of Ore’s “incredible life story” the Mirror trails on its cover? The Sun says it might be. A “source” says “because he’s a black presenter, the BBC has another incentive to  given him more prominence within the channel.”

One minute you’re presenting daytime insurance programme Claimed and Shamed, the next you’re a symbol, an inspiration for the ‘black community’ and an ambulatory swivel-hipped message. It’s less a back story than it is a black story. And it’s pathetic.

If Ore is on a “journey” he might want to check if he’s allowed to sit at the front of the bus.

Posted: 19th, December 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

On Daily Mail migrants from Barcelona and Andrew Sachs

In its front-page farewell to Andrew Sachs, known chiefly for his work as Manuel, the well-intentioned and hapless Spanish waiter in Fawlty Towers, the Mail juxtaposes the actor’s portrait by the news “MIGRANT NUMBERS HIT NEW RECORDS”.


andrew sachs daily mail


The Mail fails to say how many migrants hail from Barcelona.

PS: Andrew Sachs was born in Berlin in 1930.

Posted: 2nd, December 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

I’m A Celebrity: Ola Jordan in tabloid sex toy pregnancy shocker

The Daily Star has news on Ola Jordan, the former Strictly Come Dancing hoofer now being portrayed as a sex goddess, as her her contract with high-street seller of martial aides. On its front page the Star tells readers “randy dance babe” Ola “leapt straight into bed” with her husband “minutes” after getting voted off I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.


 I'm a celebrity ola-jordan-sex


Like most of you, we thought pot-eviction the celeb were duty bound to chat with Ant and Dec. Maybe it was foursome? As we wonder what foe son just off camera, over pages 4 and 5 we see Ola and hear her reveals all about the sex – “He did get a kiss and a cuddle.”

But that’s not all. The Star has how it”exclusively revealed that Ola was set to become a mum after her jungle stint and last night the star confirmed the news.”

Wow! She went into the jungle knowing she was pregnant? Er, no. Says Ola: “Yes I would like to be a mum one day.” Best give those “sex toys” a rest, love. They don’t come pre-loaded.


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Posted: 30th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

I’m A Celebrity threesome shocker: Scarlett Moffatt has Ant’s in her pants

Can you trust front-page headlines? The Daily Star’s cover story is that Ant and Dec have been in a “threesome” with “Jungle Scarlett”. Life moves pretty fast for Ant and Dec, the TV duo who just yesterday were triggering a “race storm” with “sensitive” Australians. Todays it’s a threesome with Scarlett, whose full name and title is “camp President Scarlett Moffat”.


Scarlett Moffatt threesome I'm A Celebrity


Over two pages of I’m A Celebrity news, readers scan for sign of the threesome. And in the small print on page 5, we find it. Scarlett Moffat, “star” of TV’s Gogglebox “reckons she should team up with Ant and Dec as a Geordie trio”. For sex, right? For a threesome?


Scarlett Moffatt threesome I'm A Celebrity


No. Scarlett made her views known not in the I’m A Celebrity jungle, rather in a book, in which she opined: “Imagine handing out with those boys all days and having a laugh.”

Yeah, just imagine that. Although if you’re a Daily Star reader, you’re most likely blown 30p imagining so much more.


Posted: 22nd, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

I’m A Celebrity offends ‘Sensitive Australians’ and other crawling creatures

Hats off to the Daily Star for one of the most absurd and joyous front pages. The paper brings news that Ant and Dec are in a “RACE STORM.

Ant and Dec are the faces of ITV’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, a show that’s been running so long the local wildlife has unionised.

The story is that Ant and Dec have insulted “sensitive Australians” by calling them “uncouth layabouts who rarely wash. The paper’s bit about the Poms’ joke upsetting “sensitive” Aussies is brilliant.

Years and years of storied abuse between the English and the Australians and the Star sets new standards. No longer rugged and tough, Aussies are “sensitive”.

It’s all very touchy feely Down Under.



Posted: 21st, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Game of Thrones spoilers

Books. Ever hear of them?  The Sun says “SHOCK LEAK Game of Thrones fans sent into a frenzy as ‘entire plot for season seven leaks online’”. Games of Thrones is based on a series of books by George R.R. Martin. If you want to know what happens in the TV version, why not just, you know, read the books?

Yes, yes, the TV version does differ from the books. Producer David Benioff says the show is “about adapting the series as a whole and following the map George laid out for us and hitting the major milestones, but not necessarily each of the stops along the way”. But you get the gist of the plot.

The Mail says “a Reddit user going by the name awayforthelads posted an enormous list of very detailed spoilers”.

How do we know to trust awayforthelads? Maybe they made it up? After all, the Sun looks at the leaks and says it is”reveals a pregnancy and a saucy romp between two main characters”. Sex in Game of Thrones is like the weather at the end of the evening news. It’s expected. As for a pregnancy, the show is about dynasties. Kids are part of the process.

And then comes the truly conniving part: the Mail wants to turn the taps open on that leak.


Game of thrones spoilers


If you want to read the leaks, you can, of course. If you enjoy escapism, you might want to pass over the leaks and just wait for the entertainment.


Posted: 8th, November 2016 | In: Books, Reviews, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Drink! Feck! Girls! Kids dressed as Father Ted characters win Halloween

“These must be the best costumes of Halloween 2016 by my sisters friends in Wicklow,” tweets @ChrisJudge.


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Posted: 31st, October 2016 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0