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TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Channel 5 Parties For A Rosy-Fingered Dawn

CHANNEL 5 is front-page news on the Daily Star, owner of, er, channel 5. News is that Channel 5 is brilliant and “SET TO THRIVE”. So. To the party at Northern & Shell’s London offices, with Barbara Windsor (a new show on the channel for post-EastEnders Babs?), Peter Andre looking clean and tidy, Matthew Wright, Vanessa Feltz (both looking as if they are gazing into an eclipse), Melinda Messenger, gadget head Suzi Perry, a recovered Jim Rosenthal, the ubiquitous Sinitta and Richard Desmond.

The Top 10 BBC Radio Fails

And though we like to be cynical about such things, the option of having a decent fifth chancel that pumps up a free-to-air alternatives to BBC bias, crappy ITV dramas and Channel Four fantasies about famous people being tortured is all to the good…

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(l-r) Matthew Wright, Vanessa Feltz and Richard Desmond arrive at a dinner to celebrate Northern & Shell's purchase of Channel 5, at their head offices in central London.

Posted: 20th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The PR Plot To Make X Factor’s Katie Waissel Hated And Loved, Like Marmite

X FACTOR agonist Katie Waissel continues to earn front-page news, today in the Star where she has sent “X-RATED kinky photos” to Simon Cowell.

And we know this how?

Waissel, billed as “ruthless” and dubbed “weasel” (because the tabloids hate ambitious women) is pictured sat on a man’s arms with his face turned towards her crotch. Both are fully clothed.

If this is what the Star, sister organ to Channel X, thinks is X rated, then anyone calling those XXX-rated phone lines in the paper’s classified section might be disappointed.

ReadHow The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.

This makes Katie the “reality TV’s most hated ever star”.

Yep, Katie Waissel is now so hated that every soon she will be loved. She will have a fan base where only apathy might have been, Thanks to a concerted PR-driven ploy to get her noticed full of lies, half-truths the refreshingly dishonest non-denial denial, Waissel – that connected sometime professional singer – is a star.

She is already being billed as “Marmite” – something you either love or hate – like Jade Goody. In the PR onslaught, indifference is not an option.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 20th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor Beats Oliver Lewis In Flight Of Bumblebee Race: Video

OLIVER Lewis can play the Flight of the Bumblebee in one minute 3.356 seconds.

That is still longer than most songs on the X Factor. So. Some way to go.

Enjoy the video:

Posted: 20th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor: Simon Cowell Keeps Jedward For Three More Years

ON the day Simon Cowell signed his £100m deal with ITV to keep the X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent recycling talent and stage school drop outs until 2013, the epitome of his contribution to popular culture – Jedward – were performing with a human-stuffed Scooby Doo! character to launch the new animated film ‘Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare‘ and video game ‘Scooby-Doo! and the Spooky Swamp’ at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home in London.

But time moves on and new acts will have to go further than hair gel and a journey. In China Liu Wei has won that country’s TV talent show by playing the piano with his toes. He has no arms.

The gauntlet has been tossed down – with Cowell’s teeth…

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John and Edward Grimes, known as Jedward, perform with the Scooby Doo! character to launch the new animated film 'Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare' and video game 'Scooby-Doo! and the Spooky Swamp'at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home in London.

Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Radio: The Gerbil Armageddon Guide To Felching

HERE follows an audio story of what gerbil are tp the act of fleching:

felching

Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Belle Amie Try For Post-X Factor Job At Sainsburys: Mary Byrne Sticks With Tesco

THE X Factor contestants were spotted on there way to a recording studio today. All eyes on Belle Amie who wore name badges. If this so we can identify the ones that can’t sing from the ones that can’t? Or are they trying for a job at Sainsbury’s? As our pals at Stylebrity say:

Nearly all seemed to sport an orange carrier bag – is this a new trend we have not heard about here at Stylebrity or are they aware of their complete lack of talent and are trying to cash in with a check-out job at Sainsbury’s – the only one not with said orange bag was Mary Byrne who already has a check-out job with rival Tesco.

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'X Factor' contestants Belle Amie seen at a recording studio in London.

Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


X Factor 2010 Rehearsal Photos Week 3: Cher Lloyd Works Paul’s Boutique

X FACTOR 2010: Cher Lloyd, that  Team America action figure and shoo-in to play the young Dot Cotton in EastEnders: The Movie, arrived for rehearsals with a huge Paul’s Boutique bag.

(Belle Amie sported carrier bags and name badges, and Paije Richardson had a manbag only beaten for brightness by Simon Cowell’s teeth.)

Paul’s Boutique is the name of the Beastie Boys’ second album. Rolling Stone wrote of it back in 1989:

Sure, Paul’s Boutique is littered with bullshit tough-guy bravado, but it’s clever and hilarious bullshit: Who can be put off by claims like “I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh” and “I got more suits than Jacoby and Myers“?

As Cher Lloyd might say: “A-ring-a-ding-ding.”

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X Factor contestant Cher Lloyd seen at a recording studio in London.


Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


X Factor 2010: Katie Waissel Kissing, Shagging Non-Story Story (Photos)

X FACTOR 2010: More tabloid half-truths and nonsense as Dan Wootton, the NoTW hack who told us about Katie Waissel and Matt Cardle having “wild kissing” and “obvious” sexy times – a story the Sun says Matt says “desperate” Katie planted – takes to Twitter to say:

“All these claims today that Katie Waissel sold me the story about her and Matt Cardle being caught in bed are SO ridiculous. She didn’t!”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Starry-Eyed Met Police Play Dress Up In Costumes From The Bill

IN a bid to appear more likeable and relevant the Metropolitan Police Force has bought up props, costumes and other stuff from The Bill, the recently killed off ITV slice-of-uniformed-life show.

The Met says this is to prevent criminals acquiring the uniforms and impersonating officers. Right now lots of black criminals are cutting their luck that their plan to impersonate an officer of the law has been undone.

The Met has taken charge of 72 police caps and hats, 97 shirts and 28 high-visibility jackets, to “guarantee public safety”.

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Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2010: Matt Cardle’s Seven Summers Band Shoots Up Album Chart

X FACTOR 2010: The album Matt Cardle recorded with his indie band Seven Summers is number 26 on the Amazon album download chart. Says Matt:

“If they are doing well and benefiting from this then I’m happy for them.”

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Posted: 17th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


X Factor 2010: Stephen Fry’s Video Tribute To Wagner Fiuza Carrilho

X FACTOR 2010: Stephen Fry has made a video tribute to Wagner Fiuza Carrilho.

Rumours were that Wagner was being kept on the show by a neo-Nazi voting cartel based on the Austro-Swiss border.

But when Storm (Trooper) Lee was voted off, we wondered about the validity of those stories. And then it became clear. Stephen Fry – King of Twitter – is backing Wagner to win.

Here’s the video:

X Factor 2010: Wagner Fiuza Carrilho Is The Cheryl Cole Antidote We Crave

The X Factor 2010: Where You’ve Seen The Fix Factor Finalists Before

Posted: 17th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2010 Live Blog: Week 2 Results Show With Katy Perry And Diana Vickers’ Knickers

THE X FACTOR live blog week 2 Results Show: After the Lady Gaga song – in which we learnt  One Direction can’t dance; Cher Lloyd would make a great Pinocchio; Matt Cardle has hair issues; Trecc Cohen is quite shaggable; and Aiden Grimshaw is less likable the more you look at him – Diana Vickers arrived on stage

X Factor 2010 Live Blog Week 2: Cher Lloyd’s Lost Ark And Matt Cardle Is Not Bald

Diana Vickers is now rhyming slang: Diana Vickers – in her Knickers. Diana wobbles her head a lot that either means she’s a fan of the Beatles, auditioning for Bollywood, or ill.

Then it’s Katy Perry. Katy has a huge explosion across her chest. she says everything three times. We hear you Katy. Again and again. The song is instantly forgettable.

Storm Lee is storming out.

Dermot O’Leary asks: “What’s going through your head right now?

Dermot then calls him “buddy“.

Storm says, “Never give up on your dream.” Not even if you have to wake up to go to the toilet.

Diva Fever sing I Will Survive. Must got through.

Belle Amie are dire.

Which means that Belle Amie go through.

Ends.

Posted: 17th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2010: Matt Cardle ‘Cheats’ On Katie Waissel With Lauren Cutmore

REMEMBER that story about Matt Cardle bedding Katie Waissel in the X Factor house after a “wild kissing game”? Remember how the NoTW told readers that Matt was a stud-muffin and Katie was needy? Well, on the same day as that scoop the Sunday Mirror says loverboy Matt has had to “sneak off to meet his ex-girlfriend… pretty Lauren Cutmore.”

The story goes that Matt dumped Cutmore with the line: “I stand a better chance if I’m single.

Only:

“But he is said to be still besotted with her and took her out for a meal this week.”

Does that make him a love cheat? Does poor Katie know..?

ReadHow The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.

READ: The X Factor 2010: Where You’ve Seen The Fix Factor Finalists Before

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Posted: 17th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2010 Live Blog Week 2: Cher Lloyd’s Lost Ark And Matt Cardle Is Not Bald

X FACTOR Live Blog 2010: Week 2. Can Cheryl Cole continue to speak and further explain why Ashley Cole cheated (allegedly)? Will Cher Lloyd move on from her role in Raiders of the Lost Ark as that monkey on a string? Will Aiden wake up in a hospital bed on Holby City or mate with a warbler? Watch and wonder:

Matt Cardle. Aka Matt Cuddle. Not bald! His cap comes off and he has a full set of curls. He sings like the sad bit in an American teen TV series: when Debbie Joe gets chucked by Sean and Brandon Lee comes over to say “sorry” and her mum sits in car with a pistol and she turns on the radio and blows her brains out…

Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.

Mary Bryne belts out a Dusty Springfield like the human Tannoy she is. No wonder Wagner fancies her. Imagine them at it. Go on, imagine it. Dream about it. Then try to stop imagining it. You can’t can you. Although if you can dream up Simon Cowell sat by the soap boxes in aisle 9 saying they are really fantastic, you might feel part of the gang. Renee and Renata are reprised.

Belle Amie. David Belle Amie? Craig Belle Amie? Simon Cowell says they are really good. Yep, that crappy Pepsi and Shirley tribute act for people with double vision – and put together by Simon Cowell – is something that Simon Cowell thinks is great. They are a shoo-in for the TenaLady gig.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


X Factor 2010 Spoiler Alert – Week 2 Song List

X FACTOR 2010: It’s week 12 of the live finals and we know what the agonists are going to sing. So do you:

John Adeleye – A Song For You (Donny Hathaway)

Storm Lee- Born To Run (Bruce Springsteen)

Mary Byrne: Dusty Springfield’s ‘You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me’

One Direction: Kelly Clarkson’s ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’

Treyc Cohen: Purple Rain

Katie Waissel – I’d Rather Go Blind (Etta James)

Wagner- Help Yourself (Tom Jones)

Cher Lloyd – Hard Knock Life (Jay Z)

Paije Richardson – If I Ain’t Got You (Alicia Keys)

Belle Amie – “You Really Got Me”

Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


X Factor Jedward Are Now A Nintendo Video Game (Photos)

X FACTOR winners Jedward – now 3.4 times more recognisable from 10 paces than any other X Factor act and the epitome of Simon Cowell’s gift to music – are 19 today.

John and Edward Grimes, the Priapic-haired duo with the names plucked from a Dickens workhouse are now jobbing as Nintendo ambassadors. Like Nintendo games, Jedward are annoying, two dimensional, repetitive and the fit line of defence in an alien invasion…

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Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Welington Goncalves dos Santos Is Our Police Chase Video Of The Day

POLICE Chase Video of The Day features  Brazil’s Welington Goncalves dos Santos. He’s escaped from jail in Sao Paulo. He’s on the run. The police are on his tail.

He smashes into police cars. He goes backwards. He goes forwards. It’s all great stuff. But the tin lid on the show is the commentator on Ao Vira TV.

Any moment he’s going to scream “Gaaaaaooooooooooooooolllllll!!!!.”

Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Jeremy Kyle Meets The Incredible Mr 3D’ Teeth: Video

DOES Jeremy Kyle pick his victims  guests for his bear baiting show on looks alone?

On last week’s show we were met by a man whose face was made for 3D TV.

Kyle remains one dimensional, a flat-track bully offering a public service cleverly disguised as orchestrated abuse and public ridicule as dressed in a soppy suit he harangues and shouts at people clad in man-made fibres.

But still they come. And still we stare…

Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (5)


X Factor 2010 Week 2: Musical Heroes Week Song List

X FACTOR 2010: The theme of Week 2’s show is “musical heroes”.
So far:

Mary Byrne: You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me (Dusty Springfield)

One Direction: My Life Would Suck Without You (Kelly Clarkson)

What odds One Direction (aka One Haircut have the same hero, and ojne who won American Idol and was singed to Simon Cowell’s label?)

Storm Lee: Purple Rain (Prince)

We always hurt the ones we love…

Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Daddy Teaches His Daughter How To Skateboard: Video

IN this instructional video, daddy will teach his daughter how to skateboard.

You know what’s coming. You can feel the inevitable looming.

But the payoff is no less entertaining for it.

Watch. And. Learn:

Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2010: How The Bullying Sun Turned Katie Waissel Into The Underdog We Love

KATIE Waissel is not the most dislikeable X Factor product. That one usually wins or gets to sit in judgement. Waissel, who worked at OK!, mingled with BMG supremos, knows Sharon Osbourne (see judges) and Dermot O’Leary’s manager, and opened for East 17 is no mere plucky amateur.

But these facts and her uttering the line, “I just want to be a legend. I want to create a legacy and that’s what I will do” does not mean she must be hated.

Indeed, the pressure piled on Katie Wassiel is such that if it can be cranked up Our Katie can be the show’s underdog and thus become a firm favourite with the UK voting public. Bullying is the X Factor buzzword and, perversely, if Katie can be a victim, she can survive.

Already Joe McElderry, Daryl Johnson and Alex Reid have come out in support of Katie. They care. And they want you to know it.

READHow The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel

But can Katie be made to look more hateful? Here’s Sharon Hendry in the Sun. This is the “dark side of Katie”, the “fame junkie”.

Katie, we learn, has a “supreme self-belief that belies her age – and ability.”

In short, Katie is ambitious and confident. And the tabloids hate ambitious young British women. Hendry wonders:

So what has instilled such incredible self-confidence in someone aged just 24? And why is Waissel so desperate to be worshipped?

Dunno, Sharon. Maybe she wants to do well and has self-belief? And as for her being worshipped, let’s not underplay it, Sharon. Let’s not build up Katie into an even bigger wannabe than she already is and make her look like a cross between Violet Elizabeth Bott, Anthea Turner and Cherie Blair.

Says Sharon:

At first glance there is nothing in her apparently stable, middle-class upbringing that lends itself to such intense self belief

Middle -class and stable?! Where’s the story in that, eh? Unless, you look at, say, Madonna or Lady Gaga who both had good homes. And this is all it is – a glance. Because Katie’s family will not speak with Sharon Hendry. Or as the investigate reporter who offers readers “a glance” at the facts, puts it:

Katie’s glamorous mum Diana is less forthcoming with information, already rudely dismissing journalists.

The X Factor 2010: Where You’ve Seen The Fix Factor Finalists Before

Would this be the same Diana Waissel who told a journalist at Heat magazine:

“She (Katie) may come across as annoying, but she just wants to stand out. She’s learning to handle the criticism. It would be difficult for anyone to take, but the more she receives, the more she’s having to get used to it.”

The same Diana Waissel who writes into the media, in this case the Harrow Observer, to offer her views on a Starbucks in the area:

diana waissel said:
we think that starbucks has improved the passing trade to the high street and brought the community together its better than having another empty shop as there are many closing down

The same Diana Waissel who tells one and all:

“I don’t want that to happen to Katie. She is a team player and a lovely girl. She has a very supportive family. We don’t like all these bullying tactics.”

How rude of Diana Waissel not to want to talk to Henry, a woman adapting an old story who calls her daughter names in print. Shame on her.

Still, one that brighter note, lots more of it and Katie will be the nation’s favourite…

X Factor 2010: Cher Lloyd’s Fragile Watch With Robbie Williams
X Factor 2010: After Katie Waissell Treyc Cohen Is Another Fix?
X Factor 2010: Wagner Fiuza Carrilho Is The Cheryl Cole Antidote We Crave

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Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


X Factor 2010: Divabot Beats Cher Lloyd, Katie Waissel And Treyc Cohen To Title

X FACTOR 2010: Cheryl Cole, Cher Lloyd, Katie Waissel, Treyc Cohen – you’re going to take one helluva beating from HRP-4C, the singing diva – the “divabot”.

(Divabot beats Robot Mouth Sings Eduard Anatolyevich’s Tralala.)

Why take a chance creating the next star in Simon Cowells’s pop factory when you can just stick a new head and chests on Divabot and win?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Jersey Shore’s JWOWW Slapped In The Ring: Peter Andre, that You?

IN one corner is Jersey Shore’s JWOWW, a woman whose name means “Class” in Polish. In the other corner is a vision who looks like JWOWW’s co-star Snooki.

It’s TV wwrestling at its very best. It’s JWOWWF being slapped in the ring. (And it’s good to see that Peter Andre has cracked America – in the face!)

Spotter: Brian Moylan @ Gawker

Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


BBC Moves Fingering Weatherman Behind The Camera

BBC weatherman Tomasz Schafernaker can spend more time with his abs as he is moved “behind the camera”.

It was Tomasz who gave anchors Simon McCoy and Fiona Armstrong the finger on air – a wet one to see whish way the wind blows. It blew him off cameras. Although the wind is said to have been an ill one caused by cost cutting and some guff about hot air…

Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2010: Fragile Cher Lloyd In Nose To Nose Stink Off

X FACTOR 2010 – Cher Lloyd’s Fragile Watch: Anorak’s look at the use of the word “fragile” to describe Cher Lloyd – presented today by John Adeleye and Wagner Fiuza-Carrilho who have been arguing over “DEODORANT”.

The Sun take sup the drama:

As the two screamed “nose to nose” over breakfast, housemates including fragile Cher Lloyd, 17, cowered in fear.

This would be “fragile Cher who along with “Katie Waissel, Treyc Cohen and Rebecca Ferguson have also been bickering”?

More X Factor PR to follow…

READHow The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel

X Factor 2010: Cher Lloyd’s Fragile Watch With Robbie Williams

The X Factor 2010: Where You’ve Seen The Fix Factor Finalists Before

X Factor 2010: After Katie Waissell Treyc Cohen Is Another Fix?

X Factor 2010: Wagner Fiuza Carrilho Is The Cheryl Cole Antidote We Crave

Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment