It’s National Masturbation Month
MAY is National Masturbation Month.
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Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995Tabloid news for broadsheet readers |
MAY is National Masturbation Month.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Pity you only tell us on the 15th. Fifteen days (and nights) lost. What a shame!
May 15th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Give the guy a break- it’s a wonder he can still type…
May 15th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Now we know why Duncan has got a sore elbow……………………
May 15th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Remind me to withdraw the invitation to place it on the scanner…
May 15th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
It could be fiddler’s elbow?
May 15th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Reminds me of a patient I once had to interview.
Arrived at the special unit, where the Sister in charge talked ’round the houses’ for half an hour in politically correct language that I finally deciphered as ‘we want to throw him out, he spends all day locked in the toilet wanking over a dirty magazine, and last week he physically attacked an old woman who tried to persuade him to vacate the loo so that she could use it’.
I managed to keep a straight face throughout this conversation.
Then they produced the patient for my inspection.
He had a hook instead of a hand on the end of each arm.
Now that takes dedication.
For me to keep a straight face, I mean.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Magical, Smuddy.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I hope the authorities are issuing free leaflets with advice and do-it-yourself kits too.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
6 Carmen
Very interesting case, he was both a sadist and a masochist.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Gloria
Not fiddler’s elbow. Pen(n)is elbow.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Love all to Marie-Nicholas.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Gosh, I am the only one posting. I feel very lonely talking by myself on a subject like masturbation.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Masturbation means not having to look your best, Marie-Nicholas.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
10
Marie Nicholas Says:
May 15th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Gloria
Not fiddler’s elbow. Pen(n)is elbow.
………………
Touche. And touche again. And again. And again. And …
May 15th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
12
Marie Nicholas Says:
May 15th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Gosh, I am the only one posting. I feel very lonely talking by myself on a subject like masturbation.
………………..
Don’t let it rub you up the wrong way, Marie Nicholas - your Pen(n)is contribution is v. clever and it’s so good, I’ve now got a headache!
May 15th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
13
Carmen Says:
May 15th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Masturbation means not having to look your best, Marie-Nicholas.
———————————
Bugger! You mean I didn’t even need to dress up?
May 15th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Sorry, I live in the sticks; is this an exhortation for DIY. or are there vans going around, like mobile screenings or libraries? A cup of tea and a biscuit would be lovely, and maybe little lapel pins.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
GurnyGub
I can offer you some rather burnt scones and a voucher for a course in Home Economics - will that do?
May 15th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
..like mobile screenings or libraries?..
……………………
Actually, there is a mobile cinema coming to my hamlet tonight and apparently they are screening a very good film called Onan the Barbarian …
May 15th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Not sure if that would fulfil my kneads…..I’ll get me coat
May 15th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Gloria Smudd
“Touche. And touche again. And again. And again. And …”
———-
Don’t be too hard on yourself!
May 15th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
And why May, why not January? Who decides this? Do they just toss for it?
May 15th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Carmen Says:
May 15th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Masturbation means not having to look your best, Marie-Nicholas.
——-
Masturbation makes you look your best Carmen!
Gives you a lovely complexion.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
22 GurnyGub
“And why May,”
If you had a Catholic upbringing, you would know May is the month of the Virgin.
As to “why May, why not January?”, why not May AND January ?
May 15th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Me again, all alone…
May 15th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Did have one of those upbringings, and the Brothers were always gentlemen to me, maybe I was ugly. Yeah, put me down for january as well, it’s a slow month. Complexion wise, I’m not sure if puce is my colour.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Oh you wankers!!! you are mean, I ‘ve been a studious model of a housewife, hey in German it sounds better, a hausfrau! Seriously I have!!
Smuddy I have been ironing and the airing cupboard is a vision of bliss.
Girls get your vibrators and gooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
(Its multi tasking lads, getting orgasmic over the laundry)
Carmen called it horizontal something or other , I forget, but 3 hours addressing the ironing……
May 15th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Bye bye for now.
You guys, take care of yourselves.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Good to see you gals with your fingers on the pulse.
If only some blokes would join in this debate, I’m sure we could make a fist of it as well.
Sh
May 15th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Sorry Mic, have to knuckle down to things here…