Anorak News | Dyke A L’orange

Dyke A L’orange

by | 26th, July 2002

‘YESTERDAY Jade ate her whole fist. In fact, yesterday Jade managed to eat herself. Which is more than pop did.

The identity of the waitress was kept secret for her own safety

But follow the van to the front page of the Sun and we find that lesbians have been engaged in a sex scandal at Chequers – or, as the headline has it, ‘LESBIANS SEX SCANDAL AT CHEQUERS’.

More specifically, ‘a Blair chef’ (one of the half dozen special forces gastronomes retained by No.10 Downing Street to be parachuted into France in case of all-out war) groped a Wren waitress.

Our beloved Prime Minister is, we are all not surprised to learn, ‘shocked by claims his head woman chef groped a Wren waitress at a drunken party’.

While Tony was waiting for his seared tuna on a confit of rustic potatoes and a drizzle of rain, it appears that chef Corporal Rose McLaughlin was (according to evidence at a court martial) sticking her hand up a waitress’s skirt and trying to pull her knickers down.

The Sun is naturally horrified by the claims. ‘The scandal,’ it says, ‘has stunned Mr Blair and his wife Cherie. They both appreciated the superb dishes prepared by McLaughlin and her team.’

And so say all of us – as we hope she washed her hands before preparing said dishes. ‘

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink