Anorak News | No Sex, Please

No Sex, Please

by | 30th, July 2002

‘IT is men like Ian Beale and PJ who give Englishmen a bad name.

The only Englishman to pass Leah’s stringent testing

And women like Leah McLaren, an ”acknowledged Canadian beauty” who this morning complains to the Mail about how Englishmen are such hopeless lovers.

Not hopeless in bed (although they no doubt are), but hopeless at getting girls there in the first place. Or so says Leah, who has been on 12 ”promising” dates and doesn’t have a shag to show for it.

But one woman’s ”promising” is the rest of the world’s ”wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole” – as evidenced by Leah’s first date.

”Nigel, let’s call him, seemed promising,” she writes (although one wonders how anyone called Nigel – even to protect his true identity – can be so considered).

”We were seated beside each other at a dinner party thrown by mutual friends and he entertained me with stories of boarding school (he went to Eton, which I found kooky if clich├ęd) and of his parents, who were globe-trotting diplomats.”

An Old Etonian stockbroker called Nigel, who was abandoned by his mother to be brought up by someone he called Auntie (although she clearly wasn’t his aunt) – it’s amazing the date didn’t go off swimmingly…

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink