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Elvis Lives!

by | 16th, August 2002

‘IT’S just as well Elvis isn’t around to live in a world without plentiful supplies of polyester. Or is he? Today, on the 25th anniversary of what is widely believed to be his death, the Mail publishes a dossier of some of the 250,000 Elvis sightings that have flooded in since the King ate one drug-laced burger too many and suffered a heart attack.

”Two whoppers and jumbo fries to go”

In October 1995, Elvis apparently entered a dog in the Sussex County Sheepdog Trials. He darted off into a nearby wood when approached by fans, but his dog, Lisa Marie, still managed to come second. He was also spotted returning a Dyson vacuum cleaner to John Lewis in Welwyn Garden City and, a little over a week after the sheepdog trials, shopping at Waitrose in King’s Lynn. ”This place is rubbish,” he said when questioned about his identity. ”I wish I’d stayed in Southampton.”

But the most plausible sightings are those of the King in restaurants and fast food outlets. Six years ago, a man claims to have seen Elvis ordering a mushroom bhaji and chicken biriani at the Taste of Raj curry house in Palmers Green, north London. In Kalamazoo, Michigan, Elvis was spotted at the drive-thru Burger King. Most convincing of all is a sighting of Elvis at a basketball game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Utah Jazz.

”I dropped to my knees, crying: ‘You are the King’,” recalls the fan who spotted him. ”He looked down and his silver sunglasses sparkled in the light. ‘Easy, son,’ he said.” The irrefutable proof of the legend’s identity, however, comes in the form of the four nachos, five hot dogs and a beer that the man ordered, and all before the game even started. It sounds just like the Elvis we knew and loved.



Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink