Anorak News | In Search Of It

In Search Of It

by | 4th, September 2002

‘IF you had ever wondered why ‘It’ girls are so-called, the Star is happy to provide an explanation this morning. Apparently, the name derives from the fact that under normal circumstances they cannot survive for more than a week without getting ‘it’ – as Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is now demonstrating in the Aussie jungle.

”You say they’re trapped in the woods with a sex-craved lunatic…”

Early symptoms of withdrawal include wandering around in the undergrowth in a thong, picking a fight with all her female rivals and sending love notes to a Cliff Richard clone.

However, things have gone from bad to worse, and if Tara doesn’t get ‘it’ in the next 48 hours, anthropologists believe she may expire. The Star, which is the official I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! paper, lays out the situation starkly on its front page. ”NO SEX TARA GOES CRAZY,” it explains to its army of readers, most of whom are no doubt telling their work colleagues how it would be very different if they were out there with her.

”Posh totty” Tara fled into the jungle after a row with fellow contestant (or ”hunky singer”, if you believe the Star) Darren Day when he refused to bed her. ”The scorned socialite, who was chased and brought back by guards, branded him ‘an arsehole and a poor excuse for a man’,” the Star continues. Both of which are arguably true, but do not necessarily explain why Tara was so keen to go to bed with him a couple of minutes earlier.

If Tara was hopping mad, there may however be a more simple explanation for it – she has confessed that she doesn’t want to be a human, she wants to be a kangaroo. Or maybe a rabbit…

Posted: 4th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink