Anorak News | Grade Escape

Grade Escape

by | 20th, September 2002

‘SO, it turns out that GCSE/O-levels and A-levels have been rigged for the past 40 years, with examiners routinely awarding grades according to whim or the throw of a special ‘exam dice’ (whose six faces were marked A, B, C, D, E and U).

A is for Umbrella

The upshot is that everyone who left school after 1961 will receive a letter in the post over the next few days with instructions on retaking the disputed papers.

A Government spokesman warned that, although these retakes were not compulsory, people refusing to resit the exams would be considered to have failed all their public exams (including university and professional exams).

”It is inequitable that someone who might only have got into university because their grades were inflated should reap the benefits in the form of a degree,” he told the Independent.

Although the Government did not have the power to order recusants to surrender their jobs, it said CVs containing references to exam results should be considered fraudulent, and urged firms to take action accordingly.

None of which has in fact happened yet, although it would almost be worth it to see the look on the faces of those who have made a career of complaining that A-levels aren’t what they used to be.

But Education Secretary Estelle Morris has ordered not one, but two new inquiries into the exam shambles, with a former head of Ofsted charged with investigating head teachers’ complaints that grades have been manipulated.

The Times has a picture of Ms Morris, clearly fretting that her A-level in PE might be in danger, in what it describes as a ”tortured posture” at a press conference yesterday and it invites body language experts to offer their opinion.

”Self-touching gives confidence,” remarks Dr Sean Neill, although it must be pointed out that the only obvious self-touching in the picture is Ms Morris clasping her hands together.

”The double crossed legs are a defence mechanism,” opines Tracey Cox. That or she just doesn’t mean a word of what she’s saying.

Posted: 20th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink