Anorak News | Mummy Knows Best

Mummy Knows Best

by | 25th, June 2003

‘IT is hard to visualise the 6,265lb of cocaine seized by police and customs in 2001.

”Where have my two kids gone?”

Far easier to picture a line of the intoxicating white powder disappearing up Lord Frederick Windsor’s retrousse nose.

But this does not make Freddie a junkie. As the Telegraph hears Freddie’s mater, Princess Michael of Kent, state: ”He’s down as a drug-user but he’s not.”

Problem is that the 24-year-old had admitted to having used drugs, a confession that somewhat reduces his mother’s assessment of things.

But no-one knows a boy like his mum. ”You just have to watch him in action,” the ironically nicknamed Princess Pushy presses on. ”Freddie isn’t a junkie.”

You’d imagine that Princess Michael would like the matter to rest there. But let’s go on.

She says that Freddie ”finally…gave in” to drugs after ”he was teased” for not knowing what drugs were all about.

But how can this be? Especially since the Princess regales us with a story of how when Freddie was 12 or 13 she took him to a drug rehabilitation centre by way of an education.

”While we were there, what looked like an old woman came up and told us, ‘I’m 17. I haven’t got a tooth in my head. I have had two children I’ve never seen. Do you want to be like me?”’

The Princess then tells us the world how ”tough” Freddie was sick in the garden when he left, he was so shocked.

And not a drug addict. Because as Freddie knows, drugs takers are all 17-year-old girls with poor dental hygiene and two missing children.

Freddie is male, has superb horse-like dentures and has never knowingly sired anything.

So he cannot be a drugs user. End of.

Posted: 25th, June 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink