Anorak News | A Bum Steer

A Bum Steer

by | 26th, June 2003

‘IT was the mystery of the dog that didn’t bark.

”Fit is fitter in every sense of the word”

While the other papers were drooling over 18-year-old American tennis player Ashley Harkleroad and her Lycra knickers yesterday, there was not a peep out of the Sun.

Had the paper that put the ‘tit’ into titillation had an attack of self-righteousness or was it just an oversight on its part?

It seems to have been the latter and this morning the Sun makes up for the lapse brilliantly with a characteristically tenuous excuse to show its readers the photo.

The paper claims the tennis babe ”got her famously tight knickers in a twist” yesterday during a tantrum with a Wimbledon security guard.

”The shapely blonde lashed out when a male warm-up partner was ordered out of her official car,” it says (below a picture of the shapely blonde’s shapely bottom).

”You guys have got a real control freak thing going on,” she apparently raged. ”It only ever happens at Wimbledon.” Yet another thing that makes this Championship so special.

A special mention must go to the Star, as well, which also finds an excuse to reuse the picture which yesterday it splashed on its front page.

Columnist Dawn Neesom is mesmerised by the American’s ”taut and toned bottom”, saying that it sends a brilliant message to girls trying to achieve Posh Spice scrawniness.

”Fit is fitter in every sense of the word,” she says.

The Sun and the Star were not the only ones with their eyes focussed on Ashley’s Harkleroad’s backside.

So was Virginia Wade and so, we hope, were all the aspiring British women players.

Because 57-year-old Wade, the last Brit to win a singles title at the All England Club, reckons that our women are going to have to give up men if they’re to make it to the top.

”You have to have hunger and desire,” says Wade (who, the Sun reminds us, isn’t married and doesn’t have kids).

”We are more concerned with getting a job, a house, a husband and having two children and that satisfies us. We take the more conformist view.”

So that’s it. At last we discover what’s wrong with British tennis – there aren’t enough lesbians in the game…

Posted: 26th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink