Anorak News | The Rules Of Engagement

The Rules Of Engagement

by | 30th, June 2003

‘BY popular demand (how I’ve pleaded), we are pleased to relive British tennis’ most famous moment since Cliff Richard made it rain.

”Come on, Timmy!”

Take it away, Greg Rusedski. ”I can’t do anything if the crowd f***ing call it. Absolutely f***ing ridiculous. At least replay the point. F***ing ridiculous. F***ing ridiculous. F***ing ridiculous.

”It’s f***ing ridiculous. F***ing ridiculous. Some w**ker in the crowd changes the whole match. Well done. Well done. Absolutely sh*t”.

He swears like a native does that Greg – and no native of Canada either, but one born and bred on British filth.

We all know by now that he swore because some idiot had called ”Out!” when the ball hit by his opponent Andy Roddick was marginally good, causing Greg to pause and lose the point.

Now step forward the man with the foghorn voice and dodgy vision, Lithuanian Evaldas Zilionis.

With a name like that, you almost expect him to offer up a cheery ”Hello, Peeps”. Instead he just pleads ignorance.

”I don’t understand the rules, but I was trying to get the point replayed.” In mid-point? And what’s a point, anyhow, when you don’t understand the rules? As an admission of culpability, it’s a failure.

And one spotted by the crowd gathering in on Mr Zilionis, who, as the heckler says, ”were calling me a moron”. ”Yes, I feel a bit of a moron,” agrees Mr Zilionis.

So which of Rusedski or Zilionis behaved the worse? Is the reaction excused by the cause?

The feeling is that it is. Showing passion when you are losing a match is easily excusable. Rusedski resorted only to verbal violence.

But Mr Zilionis cannot be so readily forgiven. Like a football fan who goes to the match equipped with a whistle, and blows it at will, Zilionis has taken things too far.

But in answer to his claim of ignorance, let’s fill him in on one key Wimbledon rule.

The crowd must wait until the point is over, or the non-British player is about to serve, and then scream something out. ”Come on, Timmy,” usually does the job.

Failing that, a rendition of Summer Holiday is the done thing.

Posted: 30th, June 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink