Lording It About

‘THERE are certain things that we will never run short of – such as jokes at Vanessa Feltz’s expense and reasons to hate Jeffrey Archer.

Lord of the Lies

No sooner has the lying peer emerged from prison, however, he provides yet more grist to the mill of those of us who cannot abide the man.

For the past two days, the perjurer has been bleating in the Mail about how conditions in prison fell somewhat short of the living standard he was used to.

The carrots in the shepherd’s pie were soft, the Krug was not vintage and the panorama was interrupted by the bars on the window.

Well, this morning we learn that he intends to sue the Prison Service over the ‘distress’ he suffered behind bars.

‘The 63-year-old author, freed this week, claims he received ‘unfair and brutal’ treatment,’ the Mirror says.

‘He is still furious that he was moved from a soft open prison to tough Lincoln jail after being caught at a champagne party while on home leave.’

The paper says Archer is being urged on by his friends, who are feeding his belief that he was victimised by Home Secretary David Blunkett and prisons boss David Narey.

But it can’t help reminding him of the words of one illustrious speaker at a recent Tory party conference: ‘If you don’t want to do the time, don’t do the crime.’

Step forward, Lord Archer (aka Prisoner No.FF8282)…

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Posted: 24th, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink