Anorak News | Fly Paper

Fly Paper

by | 12th, August 2003

‘IN today’s edition of When Journalists Attack, the Express follows hack Dennis Rice to Heathrow Airport.

A prick – and another one covered up

Rice has dressed himself in a yellow bib and got himself a job as a baggage handler.

And just in case the militants get tough, he’s brought along a knife. There’s no way Dennis is going to be made to walk out over clocking-in cards, not when he’s so close to the story.

Only that is the story: ”I carried knife onto packed jet.”

The next headline, spread across the second of two double pages completes the picture: ”I lied to get a job near the planes yet no one bothered to check me out.”

And for the hard of understanding, Dennis appears with said knife for the third time, although now he’s holding it upside down, presenting a danger less to the travellers and more to his right foot.

But Dennis missed the real story. If he’d taken his knife aboard the My Travel flight MYT392 from Mahon, Menorca, to Leeds-Bradford last Friday and threatened the pilot and crew, he’d have been cheered by the holidaymakers onboard.

The Mail says that on three occasions the passengers filed onboard the plane. And on three occasions the captain aborted take-off and they filed back to the departure lounge.

In between efforts at departure, baggage handlers, like the Express’s Dennis, moved the bags around to redistribute weight and, apparently, make the plane able to fly.

And then, as the Star says, the plane’s unnamed pilot stood on a chair before the fed-up and frightened passengers and asked the holidaymakers if they wanted to give it another go.

The one condition was that those who stayed – and 14 did – would have to make their own way home. At this point, had Dennis been around, he could have attacked.

But he wasn’t, as he was too busy showing the world his shiny knife.

Next week, Dennis revels the secret war between British Airways and a bearded extremist and his band of uniformed Virgins.

Posted: 12th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink