Anorak News | Jelly Cat

Jelly Cat

by | 24th, August 2003

‘FOR those who want to know what Tammy Morris looks like, the Enquirer a photograph. Tammy, the dancer who claims to have wooed and won Ben Affleck for one night, has the ubiquitous Jennifer Aniston-style locks, a nose more aqualine than a dolphin’s bum and come to the surgeon’s eyes.

Matt sees his career

But it’s her pose that strikes us as most fitting her apparent nature, as she lies on her back, loosens the sting on her top and pushes her 36DD breasts together.

If this were London 1984, there would be an ice cream, perhaps a Cornetto, placed in the cleavage. But the only thing that’s been there is Ben, if the story is true.

And who are we to disagree, especially since all of Hollywood’s male cast are at it with lapdancers. Take Matt Perry who, as the Enquire says, has engaged in a “night of frenzied passion” with a blonde dancer.

Step forward, shimmy like a randy fireman on his pole and take your clothes off 21-year-old Amy Bend. And the best bit is that she’s British. Matt, as the story goes, met her while he was working in London.

We join the action in scene two, where Matt, having already broken the ice with a few pound coins in Amy’s knickers, has got her back to his suite at the Ritz.

“He had that silly puppy-dog expression Chandler gets when Monica takes him away for sex,” says our Amy. “Pretty soon he led me to the sofa. What a kisser he is! My knees turned to jelly. I knew I had to have him there and then.”

And that’s proper jelly not jello or jam. Got it?’

Posted: 24th, August 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink