Anorak News | Strip The Willow

Strip The Willow

by | 1st, September 2003

‘A “BRILLIANT” new 3D football cartoon starts next week, featuring Willow Walker, a 36DD dazzler, wannabe pop star and former girlfriend of footballer Ryan Ford.

Next week Dave has a thought of his own…

BIGshot is the soccer series no fan can afford to be without, says the Star, which this morning gives its readers a sneak preview of what they can expect.

And that, it seems, is a lot of computer-generated flesh and not many computer-generated clothes.

“BIGshot’s heroes provide thrilling goalmouth action on the pitch and play the field off it,” the paper explains.

“Willow…finds herself competing with Tonya DeVille and a bevy of teenage groupies who will do anything to score with their football favourites.”

It goes without saying that we can’t wait, but in the meantime we have to turn to the Sun for our computer-generated entertainment.

The paper has a digital mock-up of the famous dressing room confrontation between David Beckham and Sir Alex Ferguson when the Manchester United manager kicked a boot at his star player.

A picture may be worth a thousand of an ordinary mortal’s words, but not when we have Becks to supply the uncomputer-generated details.

“I felt a sting just over my left eye, where the boot had hit me,” he says. “I put one hand up to it and found myself wiping blood off my eyebrow.

“I went for the gaffer. I don’t know if I’ve ever lost control like that in my life before.”

However, in picture 4 we see a raging Becks being restrained by Ryan Giggs, Ruud Van Nisetrooy and Gary Neville (who, we are pleased to report, is just as ugly on paper as he is in real life).

“Suddenly it was like some mad scene out of a gangster movie, with them holing me back as I tried to get to the gaffer,” says Becks.

“But just as I was about to smack the boss in the chops, the dressing room door opened and Willow Walker and Tonya DeVille walked in.

“Confronted by Willow’s 36DD charms, my anger immediately subsided and I felt something else stirring…”’

Posted: 1st, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink