Anorak News | Geri’s Bust-Up

Geri’s Bust-Up

by | 4th, September 2003

‘HAVE you ever seen a fat smackhead? No, of course you haven’t. So reports this morning of a miracle fat-busting injection are hardly news in the drug-taking community.

Geri has always had her knockers

What is news, however, is that this injection is legal and could, says the Sun, render the Atkins Diet and other eating regimes redundant within a few years.

The paper says that in tests fatties who had had the daily hormone jab ate 30% less than fatties who hadn’t.

It’s all to do with research which found that overweight people tend to suffer from a lack of PYY3-36, the hormone that signals when we are full up.

One (guinea) pig, 19-stone Andre Hugo, said he was eating less than half of his normal amount after the injection.

‘My friends and family were shocked as they are used to me enjoying my food,’ he says. ‘If this jab becomes freely available, I will be first in the queue.’

The image of thousands and thousands of fatties trying to wobble their way to the get to the front of the hospital queue is one we will leave you to chew over as you eat your breakfast.

However, what the fatties might find is that Geri Halliwell has beaten them all to it.

The ex-Spice Girl is on the front page of the Star, with a speech bubble from her mouth containing the words, ‘Stuff your Atkins diet’.

And the paper shows what it thinks of the controversial slimming regime, claiming that ‘the pop babe has got her boobs back and given her career a boost’ by dropping the high-protein diet.

The Mirror, however, wonders whether Geri’s fuller figure, on show during a shopping trip in London, is actually the result of a boob job.

‘All the recent pictures have shown her looking healthy and curvaceous,’ said one onlooker, ‘but her chest was one area which hadn’t bounced back.

‘At this rate, she’ll soon be rivalling Jordan.’

Despite strenuous denials from the artist formerly known as Ginger’s spokesman, the Express is also suspicious when it sees her shopping for new bras.

But perhaps there is a more obvious explanation – and Ms Halliwell is just getting into character for her part in the big screen version of the Viz cartoon…The Fat Slags.’

Posted: 4th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink