Anorak News | Belly Laughs

Belly Laughs

by | 5th, September 2003

‘SECONDARY school children in Manchester will soon be able to study an A-level in Transvestism And Its Impact On Modern Media Studies In The Early 21st Century.

‘His empathy tits are bigger than mine’

Other modules in cross-dressing are yet to be approved by the regional education authority, but parents should be unconcerned if their son borrows mum’s bra for his coursework and daughter opts to shave that hairy top lip.

As part of this cutting-edge social study, students have been introduced to the Empathy Belly. And the Times was there to watch one local lad try it on for size.

“I can’t play football wearing this lot,” says Andrew Bridge, a 15-year-old, who is seen strapped into a corset with an in-built bulging tummy and heavy breasts.

We could point out that this never stopped Paul Gascoigne from kicking ball, but if Andrew is willing he might like to try cricket instead, a move many big-boned men have made with great success.

But this is not all about Andrew. There’s the life of a gallon and a half of warm water at stake.

The aim is to educate teenage boys of GCSE age in what it means to carry a baby, and, in turn, what the implications are for that fumble in the backseat of the stolen BMW.

Of course, in nine months time, Andrew and his ilk will have no product to show for their pains, no gurgling, kicking bundle of fun – no new council house, no free groceries and not that thing that locks the toilet seat.

But if the lads want some of the trappings of young parenthood they can always ask one of their female classmates to borrow theirs when they’ve finished with them…’

Posted: 5th, September 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink