Anorak News | Slax Lovin’ Criminals

Slax Lovin’ Criminals

by | 12th, September 2003

‘ATTENTION! You are under arrest!

‘Trust me – I’m middle class’

Yes, you, the people reading this in your leather-upholstered office chairs and your luxury caravans. You, the stout citizens of Middle England. You, the so-called “respectable middle classes”.

Turns out you’re not so respectable at all. Indeed, you’re a bunch of tea-leaves, fraudsters and all-round chancers, who couldn’t be trusted to run a whelk stall – or shop at one without using some dodgy pretext to demand a refund.

But don’t take our word for it (after all, we’re as middle class as the next website, and wouldn’t know the truth if it hit us in the eye).

No, this news of something rotten in the state of Britain comes courtesy of the Telegraph, which reports a Keele University survey which found that most middle-class people fiddle insurance claims, return worn clothes to shops, keep the extra money when overchanged, and also rip-off customers while running their own businesses.

The survey dismisses the conventional criminal stereotype of “a young man in his early 20s wearing scruffy jeans”. Quite so.

Today’s self-respecting criminal is an altogether more attractive proposition, with his folded-up Telegraph, cashmere cardigan and immaculate Comfi-Slax (three pairs for £20 from the usual address – or a tenner in cash in the golf club car park).

Make that a fiver for masons.’

Posted: 12th, September 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink