Anorak News | Three Times A Lady

Three Times A Lady

by | 12th, September 2003

‘WITH the Anorak Hovercraft ready for another trans-Atlantic voyage to Hollywood, the news is that we may have to power down the engine.

Get your own cardboard Ben from the Anorak shop

Depending on what or whom you listen to, Jennifer Lopez is and isn’t getting married to Ben Affleck.

While the newspapers have it that the wedding is off, the National Enquirer, which makes it its business to know about these kinds of things, says it is most definitely on.

But before we can see Jennifer in her Comfi-Fit wedding dress we must first hear more of her husband.

Having, allegedly, fooled around with lapdancers on a trip to raunchy Canada, Ben is now, we learn, playing for high-stakes gambling.

This desperate bid to make Ben Affleck into something approaching interesting is digging ever deeper. The evidence for this latest effort to add depth to the man who could be out-acted by a paper-thin piece of oak veneer is on hand.

It seems that on a trip to Los Angeles, Ben played a game of poker. On another occasion he went to a casino in Connecticut, where he placed bets on the turn of a card.

If this is not danger enough, the magazine has a shot of Ben wearing his baseball cap with the peak aimed towards the back. We also learn that Ben smokes cigarettes and has drunk Diet Coke on at least one occasion.

While crazy Ben careers off the rails, J-Lo is getting ready for her Big Day III. And to help her chose her outfit, the Enquirer produces pictures of the actress and her accessories.

The invitation is clear: readers can use a pair of scissors to cut around the image of Jenny and the shots of her jewels, shoes and bag, and with glue create a finished version.

So the Crysyal tiara worth an embarrassingly small $295 goes on her head, the diamond princess earrings worth $86,000 go on her ears and the wedding band goes on whatever finger there’s room on…’

Posted: 12th, September 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink