Here’s One We Made Earlier

‘HURRY down to your newsagent’s and reserve your copy of next week’s OK!, which will contain world exclusive pictures of “the wedding of the century”.

Jennifer got more splinters this way

“Hollywood’s golden couple, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, will become man and wife in the wedding the world has waited to see,” it says.

“And of course OK! will bring you all the glamour and glitz of their big day.

“Your favourite celebrity magazine will cover the stars’ intimate romantic service, the dazzling cast of famous guests, the lavish wedding breakfast, Jennifer’s fabulous designer dress, the rings, the cake, the heartfelt speeches and of course the incredible party to celebrate the union.”

Now, it’s one thing knowing when and where the couple are getting married, but quite another to know in advance that the speeches were “heartfelt” and the party “incredible”.

But this is a wedding that OK! seems to know everything about– except for the fact that it’s been called off.

What to do? Having no doubt cleared page after page in next week’s magazine for the grainy shots of the couple taken with the John Holmes of telephoto lenses, OK! is in a bit of a quandary.

It could, of course, just pray that the announcement that the wedding is to be postponed is what is termed in the US of A as “a fake-out” to dupe the press.

Or it could do what cricket broadcasters do when they have a gap in the schedule caused by rain – show replays of old matches.

Jennifer has at least a couple of old wedding videos in her collection that would fit the bill nicely.’

Posted: 15th, September 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink