Anorak News | A Toast To John

A Toast To John

by | 15th, September 2003

‘INSPIRED by our antics, the Star brings news of Roger Kirby.

‘I’d rather stew in me own fat first’

Followers of our work will recall how not so long ago we purchased the very guitar Tony Blair first played with his band Ugly Rumours all those moons ago.

We took up a small hatchet and broke it into small pieces. Each of these small, healing shards of peace was despatched to the world’s trouble spots.

Sadly, what with the postal system in something of a state, not all of our wooden doves made it in time to places like Iraq and Bosnia. But we did try.

And now Roger Kirby is doing his bit for the country and politics. He’s bought one of John Prescott’s old Jaguar cars for £2,000 and now plans to torch it on Bonfire Night.

“I bought it to burn it,” says Roger. “I want to show the contempt I hold for this Government and the mess they have made of our country.”

So he plans to kick start the clean up of the country he loves by driving his car into a field and setting light to it. It’s a move much loved by our patriotic Labour-hating joyriders.

But what with his being a statement and Bonfire Night, we humbly suggest that Roger equip his pyre with John Prescott or a doll-like substitute.

What’s the betting the fire brigade will arrive too late to save the body in time?’

Posted: 15th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink