Anorak News | A Damp Squid

A Damp Squid

by | 22nd, September 2003

‘FANS of FIVE as we are, we direct your gaze to the TV programme title of the year: Killer Squid Attack.

‘Will you still love me in the morning, Vicky?’

Those who have arrived back from Greece will wonder why you portion of calamari was so small given that squid are so huge. (Those arriving back from the resort of Faliraki should flush out your systems with water and antibiotics.)

Back to the squid, which attacks at 8pm. And that’s a shame since many of you will be watching EastEnders on BBC1 at the same time. Question: why?

EastEnders is awful. The acting is woeful. Are we that short of talent in this country that we are inflicted with the acting power behind the character Vicky? Looking at her and her gang of Martin, Azif and Spencer is like watching an acting workshop.

And then there is Zoe, aka Michelle Ryan. Those of you still watching this bilge are asked to spot the next time Zoe has a speech longer than five words.

Ryan cannot act. Her reduced dialogue is surely a sign that the show’s directors and writers also know they have a dud on their hands.

Our advice is to watch the squid.’

Posted: 22nd, September 2003 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink