Anorak News | Monkey Business

Monkey Business

by | 24th, September 2003

‘ACCORDING to David Aaronovich, there are 120m sex acts that take place globally every day. [For definition of sex act, see under Bill Clinton at]

‘Oi, watch where you put that hand, mate’

This number, we believe, only includes those acts involving humans – but, given the nature of our species, a menagerie of animals, fish and household objects probably swells the overall figure.

Tonight the journalist takes his measuring device to Brazil, North Carolina and Japan, stopping as he goes to talk about sex and watch us at it, if only though the frosted glass of a Tantric-sex class.

We also learn some interesting things. This being the new FIVE, the smut is wrapped up in education. This is stimulation for the mind and body.

And the information comes thick and fast. You will learn that orang-utans are like hairy Ann Summers, fashioning sex toys from branches and leaves. The male honey bee detonates during sex, leaving his genitals behind on his loverÂ’s pillow as a reminder of happier times.

This is TV for the just-back-from-the-pub brigade. And lonely orang-utansÂ…’

Posted: 24th, September 2003 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink