Anorak News | Johnny Walkers

Johnny Walkers

by | 17th, October 2003

‘IF what George Bush would perhaps term ‘spermatically challenged’ Americans wanted to increase the agility of their little swimmers, they could ooze themselves out of their gargantuan cars and walk.


But they should take care, and the Times commends its readers to heed the news in today’s paper.

The British Government’s campaign to curtail drink-driving has apparently been such a hit that its success rate can be measured not in lives saved but in the number of drunk pedestrians killed as they stagger home.

The Transport Research Laboratory has found that since 1989 there has been a 50% rise in the number of pedestrian road accident victims found to be two-and-a-half times over the drink-drive limit.

Whether they were mowed down by a vehicle driven by another inebriate is not revealed, but the Government must be excited at the prospect of a cull on drunks and the associated reduction in anti-social behaviour, as well as the savings in hospital care.

Look out next for an epidemic of smokers burning themselves alive – and the obese being unable to reproduce.’

Posted: 17th, October 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink