Anorak News | Tunnel Vision

Tunnel Vision

by | 22nd, October 2003

‘THE police have yet to locate the driver of that battered white Fiat Uno that was spotted near to the tunnel where the car carrying Princess Diana crashed.

‘And you can’t even get a decent pint in Paris’

Perhaps they will start looking again once they hear our exclusive rumour that said vehicle was being driven by a Pakistani man with dreadlocks, aided by a blonde white woman in the passenger seat.

Judging by last night’s TV expose of life in a police training college, that’s the kind of information sure to reopen the Di file and lead to a quick arrest.

But private detectives are ahead of the game. The first is Patricia Cornwell, the Express’s “high priestess of crime”, who has conducted a six-month “forensic dissection of the case”.

She has been in France to examine the car’s skid marks, which she reveals to be the more exotic “yaw marks” – “made by an over-correction of the steering at high speed”.

She also claims to have gone “into the toxicology report on Henri Paul [driver of yawing car] with a laser beam.”

What Cornwell’s literary heroine, Kate Scarpetta, would make of it is a question that needs answering in a three-part TV drama and book.

We can’t help but consider it to be a shame that Inspector Morse is dead. He would have got to the root of it, would old Morsey.

But we are distracted from our audience with Cornwell by a man in a flak jacket and beret, scampering along the Alma tunnel in Paris.

We have no idea what former SAS solider-turned-writer Andy McNab looks like, but we bet that’s him.

Trained in “assassination techniques” by his country, McNab has done a recce of the crash scene and now reveals his opinion to the Sun.

“There were easier ways to kill Diana and make it look like an accident,” he says.

And John Stalker, one page on, agrees. The former Deputy Chief Constable of Manchester police says he has driven along the tunnel, and when his car hit 60mph – Diana’s chauffeur was, apparently, driving at around twice that speed – “I found negotiating the tunnel difficult”.

Although not fatal. Which is interesting, in a way. Isn’t it? Certainly worthy of a book…’

Posted: 22nd, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink