Anorak News | The Bums Rush

The Bums Rush

by | 24th, October 2003

‘BOTTOMS are the new bosoms. More and more Americans are beseeching their surgeons to add a few pounds of lard to their backsides.

‘Mine’s called Ben – what about yours?’

Dr Robert Ray says that his clinic offers a range of sizes. He also says that no-one goes for the small, with most preferring a Jennifer Lopez–style large one.

We’ve done a quick survey of Americans walking the streets of London and can say with a high degree of certainty that they do in deed have enormous arses.

But the trick is to not have an enormous everything, and the Enquirer tells wannabe lovelies about the new fitness diet taking Tinseltown by storm.

The daily guidelines are simple: drink eight to ten glasses of water; eat three high-protein, low-fat meals a day; eat plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables and salmon; and eat two snacks.

The diet also recommends weight training and taking exercise, like walking. ”A brisk half-hour walk could satisfy the aerobics requirements,” comes the advice.

And it’s good advice. Although, given the lack of aerodynamics caused by that new voluminous arse, after half an hour’s walking, most Americans would be lucky to have made it from the sofa to the fridge…’

Posted: 24th, October 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink