Anorak News | Kat’s Andy Man

Kat’s Andy Man

by | 28th, October 2003

‘KAT returned from New York (once Andy had paid the excess baggage on her) to announce to her shocked family that she was getting married.

‘I was voted sexiest woman in soaps once. Honest!’

“I do love ‘im,” she told sister Lynn, “’E treats me like a real lay-dee.” Andy, Britain’s poshest East End gangster – Walford via Westminster Boys’ School – is keen to tie the knot as soon as possible and has booked the church for November 13th.

Which doesn’t give Alfie much time to stop the wedding as he’s realised (for the fourth time?) that Kat’s the love of his life. Alfie told Kat that her fiance was a big time gangster in a bid to put her off but Kat wasn’t too bothered.

She probably realises that the closest Andy’s ever come to psychical violence is during the first day of the Harrods sale.

There’s another marriage proposal about to take place in Walford when Barry asks Janine to marry him.

Quite possibly the stupidest man on television since Frank Spencer put on his beret, Barry has no idea that Janine and Paul are planning on fleecing him for every penny he has.

Barry has already agreed to get Janine a credit card. “I need it for business,” she whined at him. And we all know what sort “business” Janine’s into.

Barry has decided he needs to shape up to keep up with Janine’s “needs” (try not to think about it), so has engaged Paul as his personal fitness coach. Which is interesting considering that the only exercise Paul ever does is lifting pints and fags from the Queen Vic bar to mouth.

Paul has devised long jogging routes for Barry, which gives him plenty of opportunity to bed Janine. Difficult to know which bloke has the worst deal though, isn’t it?

Elsewhere, Derek confessed to Pauline that he was once married and has two children but hasn’t spoken to them in years after he revealed that he was gay.

Now that all her kids have run away from her, Pauline hasn’t got anyone’s life to interfere with so has turned her attentions to Derek. The tyrant in a cardie sets about trying to track down his kids. And of course, this being Walford, they’re bound to be living round the corner.

Den and Dennis have kissed and made up (or rather had a rough bear hug and a hand shake – this is the East End, after all).

Sharon has hired her father to work in Angie’s Den and he in turn has hired Lisa to try to keep her out of trouble. Which now means that the club has more staff than customers every night.

Den is struggling to keep Lisa from unravelling, she’s drinking enough to make Angie proud and trying to get anyone who’ll listen to her to Kill Phil.

After failing to persuade Den, she turned her attention to Dennis. “You ‘ate ‘im as much as me,” she slurred into his ear. Luckily for all concerned though, Dennis may be a Watts but even he’s not that stupid.’

Posted: 28th, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink