Anorak News | Tail-End Charlie

Tail-End Charlie

by | 7th, November 2003

‘IF a straw poll had been taken last night as to which male member of the Royal Family could have been seen in a compromising incident with a Palace servant, it’s unlikely Prince Charles’ name would have come out on top.

‘I did not have sexual relations with that begonia’

We cast no aspersions, but as mere barometers of the public mood we most humbly suggest that Edward would have been the person most fingered, perhaps followed by Anne.

But such is the condition of the Windsors these days that everything is open to question, and often in a hostile forum.

Today the Mail reproduces a statement issued by the office of the future King in which he says “the speculation must be brought to an end”.

Speculation over the death of Princess Diana, the Queen Mum’s underground gin canals and what he sees in Camilla are for other times, because for now Charles wants us to hear that allegations concerning him and a staff member are false.

“The allegation was that the Prince of Wales was involved in the incident,” says the letter. “The allegation is untrue. The incident which the former employee claims to have witnessed did not take place.”

That is a categorical denial. But for good measure the Express (“It’s All Lies, Says Charles”) wants us to know some background.

As does Charles, who equips his statement with a few lines about the probity of the accuser, one George Smith.

“There is a particular sadness about this allegation because it was made by a former Royal Household employee who, unfortunately, has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and has previously suffered from alcoholism”, says Charles.

And just in case anyone thinks George developed such stress-induced illnesses from working with a man who talks to his plants, Charles says they were a result of George’s active service in the Falklands.

With that cleared up, we can move on. And ask Charles why he thinks Prince Harry has got red hair and wants to join the Army…’

Posted: 7th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink