Anorak News | Can You Beat It?

Can You Beat It?

by | 17th, November 2003

‘SO egalitarian is Tony Blair that in consultation with his Home Secretary, David Blunkett, he’s giving you the chance to live like him.

Buy now and get a free teddy

The lifestyle guru will have to wait, as will the portfolio of flats in Bristol, the holidays in Barbados and the hotline to God, but in the meantime how d’yer fancy a copper on your own doorstep?

Today the Sun announces that you can give Bogside Villas that Downing Street touch by investing in your own community support officer to stand outside your front door all day.

This is yours for a mere £10,000. And that’s good value when you consider that for this one-off annual fee he or she will stand outside in all weathers and even open the door for you when needs be.

It would cost more but, reports the Mirror, the Government will stump up the additional £10,000 in your private cop’s wages if you can whip up the initial ten grand.

And what’s more, your personal bobby has powers to hand out spot fines for dog fouling, littering and riding on footpaths, confiscate alcohol and tobacco from young persons and request the name and address of a person acting in an antisocial manner.

All things to keep your visitors, their children and their pets behaving in a right and proper manner when they come calling.

But until such a time when the death penalty becomes law, and David Davis gets his way ((“Davis: I stand firm on death penalty” – Mail), your private copper will not be able to kill any miscreants with a single chop to the throat.

Ethnic dogs notwithstanding.’

Posted: 17th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink