Anorak News | Sun Downer

Sun Downer

by | 21st, November 2003

‘OF course, whether you march or not, the truth is we are all going to die anyhow.

‘Give the Big C the Big E’

We know this because the Mail makes it its job to tell us. The only thing that changes every day is the hideous manner of our demise.

Today it is staying in. As the headline says: “Now staying out of the sun could give you cancer.”

Apparently, a lack of sunlight makes us more vulnerable to a “range” of cancers which account for the lives of around 38,000 of us every year.

It’s pretty clear that what we should be marching about is not George Bush but the big C, demanding that it leave the country now and never return.

At the head of the protest would be Professor Cedric Garland from the University of California, who says that Vitamin D – the ‘sun vitamin’ – has been shown actually to kill some tumours.

The course of action is made clear. “Residents of the UK should aim for ten to 15 minutes a day in the sun when the weather allows, without sunscreen to allow adequate synthesis of vitamin D.”

All very good, until we look out the window and note that the sun has migrated and will not return to the area until March at the earliest.

It’s pretty obvious that we all need to get away. So Iraq here we come. It’s got sand, sun and Saddams.

And very soon it will have the civilising influence of Lineker’s Bar and the famous Eurovison Thong Contest.’

Posted: 21st, November 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink