Beggars’ Belief

”HIYA! Any chance you can spare just a wee minute of your time to talk about social issues?’ (Smile.)

‘Do you think asylum seekers shoul be a) shot, b) hanged, c) made to play cricket?’

Hmmm, I’m in a hurry and…

‘That’s great! (Grin.) Now there are important choices for the future. Choices not just for politicians but for all of us.’

You try to move away. But yards up the road another continues the offensive where the first left off.

‘So we want to begin a conversation with you about how together we can make the future fair not just for some but for everyone.’

You’re running now.

But the next corner brings another new face in a bib. It’s Tony Blair, and, the Telegraph reports, he wants you to put your mark by his name at the next election and vote for things to get ‘even better’. That was his speech you just heard.

Not content with sounding like a parish vicar, Tony has adopted the sales approach of those charity muggers, what the Times terms ‘chuggers’ on its front page.

You know the type. They are the human obstacles that block the pavement, that stick their heads under our umbrellas and ask us if we know that children in Burkina Faso are starving.

‘Don’t you care?’ they pine. Of course, they do. But, as the Times reports, they might care more for their own pockets since they are not simply the younger alternative to the elderly lady ratting a tin but thrusting, money-hungry, pushy professional beggars.

But soon no more. In among the Government’s proposed legislation to hang all immigrants and ensure that everyone’s first-born son – on pain of castration – is called Euan, the Queen’s Speech will outline plans to outlaw these highway robbers.

News is that not all the money you give to these grinning loons goes to the less well-off. Some goes to pay for the chuggers’ wages, while some more goes to the firm that operates them.

So the Government is calling for greater transparency as to where all the cash goes.

And if you could just spare a moment of your time to tell Tony all about your experiences with the chuggers and life in Britain today, he’ll tell you about a wonderful land where angels…

Hey! You can run, but you can’t hide forever…’

Posted: 26th, November 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink