Anorak News | Belly Aches

Belly Aches

by | 28th, November 2003

‘TONY Blair must be kicking himself this morning that he never thought of flying to Iraq for a chow down with the troops.

‘Ready when you are’

If he is, he should take care not to kick too hard lest he fall to bits.

The news in this morning’s Independent is that uncertainty over the state of Tony’s health persists.

Following a recent heart murmur, the Prime Minister has of late been complaining of stomach pains.

Two medical experts have seen him, and Downing Street claims that the problem has passed. But what was the matter?

This is the question that the Indy poses in “SO WHAT COULD BE THE PM’S PROBLEM?”

No mention of a Jesus complex or an eagerness to please, just talk of possible appendicitis, gall stones, acid reflux, kidney stones and, er, constipation.

Rock ‘n’ roll, Tony is no costive niggard, so that last condition can be ruled out.

Perhaps a pain has been bought about by the Telegraph’s front-page announcement that a YouGov poll places the Tories top of the pile with a lead of two points over Tony’s Labour.

The paper reveals that Michael Howard’s Tories sit on 38%, Labour on 36% and the Lib Dems have slipped to 19%.

This must indeed hurt Tony, who, along with the pain in his side, has begun to feel tingling sensations in the palms of his hands and feet.’

Posted: 28th, November 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink